For those who don't remember me ... and those who do ... After a year or so away from the boards, I've finally dragged my sorry butt back. I'm posting on this topic group since it was the one I probably felt most "home" with before, being just about 10 pounds short of what I considered my end goal. Although ... I am far from where I was last time I visited.
I won't make this a long post, but briefly, I have strayed from the True Path and have regained a chunk of weight. I offer no excuses, but I see pretty clearly the circumstances that led me astray. I picked up a second job, which wreaked havoc not only with available free time but simply threw me off a well-established schedule. The combination led to more eating on the run, less time to devote to healthy shopping, meal prep, and exercise, and simply being tired and craving quiet time which compounded the lack-of-time problem. With a busier life, I also lost the fervor for the absolute mindfulness, dedication, and focus that I needed to keep on track. I was just so tired of counting, of policing myself and my thoughts and actions and just caring all the danged time. :P As a Compulsive Overeater, I knew, and have been reminded quite forcefully, that sticking to a healthy lifestyle will never be second nature to me, and diligence has to be my watchword.
As often happens, it's been a spiral down and down, an accelearting slide down a slippery slope. I haven't beaten myself up too badly, although part of that is that I have been in a little denial and doing a lot of procrastinating, and a lot of, "Well, I haven't been to XYZ restaurant in years, I want to go there and have a meal like I used to have, just this once." The good news is that, even though I've gained a lot and have felt a little out of control, I still haven't done the wild wild binging I used to do in my "larger" days. I've been working up to getting serious again, to rededicating myself and getting that "starting fresh" feeling and approaching things from scratch. Coming back here is a step towards that. I have taken a few weeks to actually do it, I've felt somewhat ... apprehensive? I dunno. Just had to take that deep breath you take before you plunge into something that you know will be good for you and you'll be glad you did, but which might sting a wee bit when you start.
So, there you have it. I look forwad to seeing the Old Gang and new faces on the boards, and learning from you all as I've always done.
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day into a 
