Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 07-28-2006, 01:58 PM   #1  
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Default The Purina Diet

My husband forwarded the following to me this morning. I thought you all would enjoy it as well:

I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.

So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.
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Old 07-28-2006, 02:37 PM   #2  
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I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants and had tears rolling down my face. My co-workers thought I had lost my mind.
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Old 07-29-2006, 12:52 AM   #3  
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Love it!
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Old 07-29-2006, 09:46 PM   #4  
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Thanks!
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Old 07-30-2006, 10:41 AM   #5  
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ROFL, that is great.
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:29 AM   #6  
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Well, you know, the lines at Walmart are so long, it's no wonder people choose Stand-Up Comedy as a way to pass the time!!

Thanks for a good one!!
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:33 AM   #7  
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Love it!!
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