ME: Hello.
AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T .
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: This is AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....
ME: Is this AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please.?
ME: May I ask who is calling.?
AT&T: This is AT&T.
ME: Ok, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely,
this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise,
when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME: Hello.?
AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
ME: May I ask who is calling, please.?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T .
ME: This is AT&T.?
AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME: The phone company.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME: I already have a phone.
AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you
10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) YES, SIR, that's
right! 24 hours a day!
ME: 7 days a week.?
AT&T: That's right.
ME: 365 days a year.?
AT&T: Yes, sir.
ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T: We think so!
ME: That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME: Ok , so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the
end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get
a cash advance.?
AT&T: Excuse me.?
ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T: What are you talking about.?
ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days
a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 a year. I'm just
interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents
a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal
telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...
ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.?
AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.!
AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.?
ME: Yeth?
SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
minute program.
ME: Is This A T & T?
SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.) No,
actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could
sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
was helping you.
ME: Thank you. (I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls.
I need to end this Conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite
voice at the other end of the phone).
AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up
for our plan.?
ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing
because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T: click........
