Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 06-21-2008, 11:52 AM   #1  
2 wheels is plenty :D
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Default AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES (That Really Work!) ;)

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM (in which case you call Best Bet Electric).

DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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Old 06-21-2008, 02:14 PM   #2  
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Hysterical, I love it!
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:02 PM   #3  
God, Give me strength !!
 
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I got this in my emal a month or so back, and I never so hard... I love the pee'ing in the sink... these are too funny!
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Old 06-27-2008, 05:06 PM   #4  
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Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!!!
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Old 06-29-2008, 09:10 PM   #5  
Want to feel better
 
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I love the thing about the slinky. I'm sorry, I'm bad ~ that fits perfect for my sister's ex-husband. Mr. Slinky
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:40 PM   #6  
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Haha! Love it!
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:35 AM   #7  
~One Day At A Time~
 
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LOL!!! That's great
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:19 AM   #8  
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Great post!! I love the alarm clock and coughing one! lmao the saying goes... "can't duct it... chuck it" or F it... chuck it is less vulgar!
Thanks for the smile!!
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Old 07-08-2008, 08:02 PM   #9  
I'm a Loser ;)
 
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Laxitives!!! That one touched home!!!

My son had to have laxitives when he was severly constipated... he also had a bad chest cold.

Gave him both. A few hours later I checked in on him and he would keep slapping his hands over his mouth and cross his eyes and get a red face. I asked him what's wrong. After he made a MAD dash to the bathroom relieved himself... and sitting on the toilet looked at me and innocently said "you'll get mad at me if I cough..." I asked him "why in the world would I get mad at him". He proceeded to cough and "showed me" - gross at the time... but now I look back on it, it cracks me up.

Poor kid.

Last edited by tamaralynn; 07-08-2008 at 08:03 PM.
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:39 PM   #10  
I was born this way hey!
 
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Omg..I love #5!!! That is so funny!!
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