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Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 01-23-2008, 01:16 PM   #1
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Default Dog food diet

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....

Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? PIGEONS? Since I'm retired, with little to do, I told her that no I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I explained that I probably shouldn't be going back on this diet because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, although I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story).

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; that I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *** and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
Lost successfully, maintained successfully. Followed by a whole lot of setbacks and obstacles. Starting over with the knowledge gained before.

Last edited by ennay; 01-23-2008 at 01:16 PM.
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Old 01-23-2008, 11:58 PM   #2
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LOLOLOLOL! :hey purina is startin to sound pretty darn gooooood:

GO Chicks!!!
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Old 01-25-2008, 05:22 PM   #3
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OMG! That was so funny, I laughed so hard I woke the dog up! lol
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Old 01-26-2008, 11:14 AM   #4
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HAHA! This is priceless.
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Old 01-26-2008, 09:02 PM   #5
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A perfect "here's your sign" moment!
"I'd like to come back as a giant Flemish rabbit--fifteen pounds of pure bunny." Charlie Crews, Life
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Old 01-26-2008, 09:27 PM   #6
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What a better way to get banned from the Wal-Mart! I LOVE IT and I think I peed a little! =0)

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out,
but I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip.
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Old 01-30-2008, 09:04 AM   #7
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too funny!

Last edited by Karma27; 01-30-2008 at 09:04 AM.
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Old 02-01-2008, 05:30 PM   #8
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WOW!! That would def. make shopping at Wal-Mart THAT much better!! Great story!

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Old 02-06-2008, 06:17 PM   #9
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LOL One has to wonder where people come up with such questions. If you want to talk to me, just say hi...don't chat just to hear yourself talk. LOL
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