HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX:
>>>
>>> 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is:
>>> "FEE-NICKS".
>>>
>>> 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush
>>> hour is from noon to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
>>> morning.
>>>
>>> 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop
>>> 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything
>>> less is considered "Wussy".
>>>
>>> 4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its
>>> own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the
>>> loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the
>>> biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell
>>> phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>>>
>>> 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
>>> cussed out, and possibly shot.
>>>
>>> 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that
>>> can get you shot.
>>>
>>> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour
>>> barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the
>>> middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more
>>> exciting.
>>>
>>> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
>>> barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires,
>>> squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the
>>> coyotes feeding on any of these items.
>>>
>>> 9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same
>>> road. SR 202 is the s ame road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and
>>> Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but
>>> they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon
>>> Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. And if all that
>>> isn't enough to remember SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa
>>> Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce. SR 101
>>> is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which also The Black
>>> Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd.
>>> becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd.
>>> where it dead ends at a mountain.
>>>
>>> 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
>>> shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
>>> activated."
>>>>>> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65
>>>>>> mph zone,
>>> you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
>>> accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
>>>
>>> 12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your
>>> hands.
>>>
>>>
Its so true - especially number 9. Listening to a traffic report is pointless - who knows which road they're talking about! I might have to copy that and keep it for reference....
Lol, this is so true. I lived in Phoenix for one yr. when I was a Jr. in high school and had just learned to drive. Of course at that time, I just hopped on the highways and drove like a maniac. I had to be able to keep up, LOL. Plus, I was young and stupid and never once worried about getting killed.
Born and raised Phoenician (hee)! If you thought the potholder thing was a joke, it's not.
I agree with all of it but the shootings hehe. I'm much more afraid of offending people in LA or on the east coast than Phoenix! Of course, I almost NEVER use my horn.
I DO always use my turn signal, and spout out an obligatory, "Nice turn signal, buddy," every time someone ahead of me doesn't use theirs. Many times a day.
Hehe, nice! I have spent time with my grandparents (amounting up to about 3 years) in the Phoenix area lol
Very true, my nana would always go start the car and airconditioning and we'd be made to stand outside for five minutes before we were allowed in. "Never touch the metal, your fingers will fall off!!" she used to say lol
And if one more person says, "but it's a dry heat" I think my brains will melt out of my ears. I say, turn your oven on to about 400; let it heat up; open it up and the heat blast you get is what it is like to live in Phoenix (or anywhere in southern AZ) in the summer.
I flipped someone off one time-it was the LAST time I did that!! I got chased all the way home! BY A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! It's kinda sad, but all of these things are true.....
Anyone from Phoenix? Read on....
