Fiddler, I was in Mensa for quite a few years, before I met my husband. I found it to be a very accepting group, much more so than the majority of society. I was at my largest while in Mensa and still managed to have a good social life, while in the outside-of-Mensa world, I was excluded from the 5:00 happy hours and general parties at my job. Yet, all those people who gathered after work, the attractive single crowd, many of those people were friends with me one on one. I just didn't fit in with the flirty social circle.

When I lost weight (through obsessive exercise and calorie counting) I got so many more invitations to do things outside of Mensa. Of course my habits had changed (no drinking, I had quit smoking, etc.) and those after work drink and smoke fests were not interesting to me anymore! I do drink again, which I've been thinking might be a separate post.

Fiddler, do you socialize much in Mensa, and if so, have you found the acceptance level to be higher in that group?

At your height and size 18 I imagine that you are very visible! In a very good way!

But the prevailing thought still is, eat less, exercise more, weigh less. You can't get around it........so you HIDE......hide food, hide your behavior, hide how you truly feel about why you are fat. I spent many a day in tears last summer when they told me I had to start taking prednisone again......no compassioin from drs or others as to why you DON"T want to take it. So you just go along with what everyone says. I managed to go 25 yr. without going to the dr. (except for pregnancies) and I'm very glad I did. But in the end, I had to succumb to the dreaded drug. Hey! We all get to rant today!!

On the other hand........I had a good day eating wise today. Really busy running around getting tires, etc. Then dd and I kind of got lost on the way home because of a detour. We live an hr and a half from most any shopping area like Sams. Guess it's good to stay busy. DD does her school work at home so we stay home most days.

Unfortunately, I don't. The Mensa chapter here is mostly composed of retired people, and they plan their activities for when un-retired :( people are at work.

Hi Carol,

My husband has had to take prednisone for "bursts" when his asthma has been bad. I've never had to take it myself.

If it were me, I would be devastated to be getting things sorted out in my head regarding weight and yet taking this drug that undermines any good progress. Have you googled to see if there is a way to counteract the weight gain?

As I get older, I am more receptive to alternate treatments. I was recently upset because I realized that my doctor never recommends supplements and I took anti-inflammatories for months for my bursitis in my arm (which was almost unusable!) and it never got all the way better. Call it coincidence, but taking glucosamine cleared up what the drugs did not.

I'm not saying that there is something besides Prednisone, but rather something that may help counteract the weight issue.

Just thinking about you, and how understandably upsetting this has been. :hug:

Hi all,

I am in a posting frenzy it seems, so I am writing separate posts for different subjects, to keep my head clear and so you can scroll on past if it bores you to tears!

I don't think I mentioned here on the board that I stopped seeing my counselor several weeks ago. At first I felt very fortunate that I had found someone who was supportive of the Overcoming Overeating approach (I thought!), but as time went on, I found that she was not so supportive, and that she didn't really get it. She kept referring to Overcoming Overeating as something I had tried already, that supposedly hadn't worked, and it was time to do food diaries and ban certain foods from the house again. I fought like a mad woman when these ideas were brought up. And all that from someone who had never read the book!

Sometimes I would become so angry with the things she would say. She would keep saying that the true definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, and then suggest that I start strictly monitoring my food or even restricting my food. Hello, past experience shows that this will send me over the edge with bingeing! Would it not be crazy to expect a different result this time?

Anyway, I would not call my time with her a waste, but I did have to call an end to the sessions when our insurance changed. Ironically, this was the week after she agreed to finally read the book. I was actually relieved. I don't understand how someone who has a background in adult eating disorders has such a hard time with the concept, and would have a patient come in weekly (for months!) who lives around this book, and she didn't even read it.

I was disappointed because otherwise, I really liked her.

Wiffle, When I went back to the dr. for the first time in 25+ yr (that is for treatment for sarcoidosis) I had been taking several natural supplements such as COQ10, garlic, lutien, billberry (my mom and I have always had bad eyes but my mom ended up with macular degeneration) and my first dr. took me off everything.......he was very anti herbs. So when I went to Mayo I just gradually started taking them again without discussing it with the dr. I also take fosamax for high blood calcium.....I know, it's complicated. 25 yr. ago I begged for something other than prednisone and still 25 yr. later there is nothing else they recommed. What would you google to find out about the things you were talking about. I have read only one book by Eugenia somebody on prednisone and how to live with it. She was a professional muscian and went on a very strict diet to keep from gaining.

Wiffle, You should recommend The Overfed Head by Rob Stevens......really short and he really gets his point across. Best IE book I have read and I think I've read them all.

Forgot to say my dh is a veterinarian with very bad joints and has been taking the glucosamine-condrioton for years and loves it.

There is another thread on here ....Starvation Mode.......where they are discussing the idea of calories in calories out (most would agree with that) and I wrote the following.
All this is very interesting but my question is.......Why from the time I was about 12 (I was a chubby child who grew thin by then) did I never think about food and really not get that much exercise (I was in school all day long) and stay thin? My first problem started when I took birth control pills right before my wedding. Even then I lost 10lb as soon as I got home from my honeymoon. After 10 pregnancies, illness and taking prednisone, reading hundreds of diet books......I really think dieting has been the problem. Why? When I started doing lots of fasting my problem became much worse. You can say calories in calories out but I don't think that's it.
Think I might be in hot water?

__________________

Does anyone have any good ideas for IE when driving long distances and eating out when away from home. Should you take food with you? Seems like a lot of mindless eating occurs on long car trips.

Bring stuff to do, I find if I have a book, or a puzzle or something I am less likely to eat out of boredom. Also with the idea sometimes you are just going to do it anyway, bring good stuff versus junk.

As for eating out. I like seltzer so I try and have a salad and a glass of water or seltzer or something first. Takes the edge off if I am hungry. Also I have no problem asking them to leave off certain thing.s (i.e. at applebees I ask them to take off the mashed potatoes or give me a double serving of veggies).

I haven't had a dessert in a restaurant in a while with the IE....usually too full.

Thanks Obi. I one of those "aha" moments last night. One of the things I loved it eat as a child and teen was homemade tomato soup. My mom just made it with milk and tomato juice. I ate it all the time even when I was sick. My dh doesn't like it so I just quit making it. The other thing is that it is hard to heat it without curdling, especially using home canned tomato juice. Yesterday it hit me that one of those hand blenders might work to smooth it out. I live in the country but there is a store called Johnson's One Stop about a 2 miles away and they had one. Did it work good! I fixed reubens for my family but because I don't eat cheese I made the soup with soy milk for myself. And I felt so energetic all night!

We drove twice last week to a city 250 miles from us (so 1000 miles total). On the first return trip, we stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom and we ended up buying candy and chips too. I felt so sick!

The second trip was a little more thought out and I washed some apples and packed a cooler with bottled water. That time we were not tempted for candy although I bought some V-8 at a restroom stop. That is not so bad!

My experience is that if it is in the car, it will get eaten, so I vow to think more and impulse buy at convenience stores less.

As for eating out when traveling, I've been viewing it as an opportunity to add new previously forbidden foods to my repertoire. There is a McDonald's smack dab in the middle of the turnpike, so we stopped there. I got a small wrap thing that they refered to as a "snack wrap". Funny how a "snack" is big enough to be an entree, but then they are the ones who wanted us to supersize everything, right? Anyway, this was a small flour tortilla with a chicken strip, a bit of lettuce, maybe some grated cheese and a little sauce. It was really good! I also got a small fry and that was more than enough but I ate it all anyway. :o

Sometimes I really need to remember to throw stuff away or give it to my husband. Especially when traveling and there is no fridge for leftovers.

How does everyone else handle traveling?

I found this on another thread somewhere and thought it was cool on 3fc

This is an excerpt from Linda Spangle's book 100 Days to Weight Loss. I think this might have been mentioned here before, but it bears repeating.

People who are interested in losing weight:
1. Stick with it until something better comes along
2. Take action only if they “feel like” doing it
3. Need to see results in order to stay motivated
4. Blame people or circumstances for their struggles
5. Easily give up whjen the face challenges.

People who are committed to losing weight:
1. STick with their plans no matter what
2. Take action whether they feel like doing it or not
3. Assume that if they stay motivated results will follow
4. Take responsibility for their own actions
5. Keep going in spite of challenges and setbacks

This is going to be kind of a rant/vent, sorry.


Ok, so I posted a while ago that I needed to weigh myself so today while exploring I found a ballys and got on the scale...problem...the scale only goes up to 350. At my last weigh in I was 356, I have lost a little but I am still not under 350. I stayed the same, or I gained....I decided to pick a happy medium and say I stayed the same. My clothes haven't gotten any tighter and if anything I feel better. I also think with the whole condo buying thing I was a little interupted.

So my goal is to get under 350 so I can use a regular scale. I am sticking to the IE, but uping my excercise. I have been doing 2 miles a day(WATP) , but I am going to add swimming and try and move up to 3 miles a day and see where I am in a month. Being in water is something I just love and miss alot.

I am not going crazy, but I am very focused.

I think that is a fine goal to have, Obi. I was wondering how your weigh-in came out because I remember you saying it was just about time. I'm glad you posted and let us know.

With the extra exercise, that weight should come off before you know it. :)

I have a question. How do you guys swtich from the diet mentality to the intuitive eating approach? I have read the book, but I just can't seem to let go of the 'you should only eat that if no one is looking' type of thinking.

For me I had already reached a point where I realized the cycling of dieting wasn't working for me and it was getting smaller and smaller. I was just fed up when I found the first IE thread and jumped in. Also it wasn't something that happened overnight. I was a little paranoid for a while, and now I just refuse to be held hostage by the cycle. Also I think once you read the Overfed head it is like a light bulb goes off.

And with any other "program" you have to make it work for you. Do what you need to make it work.

I still have gooes days and bad days, but overall I'm happy. LOL,even with my drama today...:carrot:

Thanks for the wise words. I'm at the beginning of my journey but hopefully it will be a happy and successful one

A Nice Thing Happened
 

So Usually when I have scale issues I wanna starve myseld and run 20 miles a day (total unrelastic). So this time I am sticking to the IE and walking in the morning (I have a 100 mile goal, right now.)

Anyway I walked 4 miles this morning, wasn't as horrible as i thought it would be. Had half a subway sandwich and some orange juice and I am ok. So my boss brings in his left over halloween candy and leaves it in my office (i share with 3 other people). At first I was horrified by the temptation then all I could think was I didn't just walk 4 miles :exercise: to waste it all on that junk.:nono: (i wish they had a talk to the hand smiley)

anyway, hope everyone else is having a good day.:carrot:

Good for you, Obi! Way to go!

Hi, everyone. We were away for the weekend and I made a few good decisions. One time I ordered a kids meal and another I insisted the my dh share with me. Then when everyone was ordering my favorite ice cream whcih I can only get about once every 2 yr. (Baskin Robbins........we don't live anywhere near one of their stores) I declined because I was full. Hope I can keep up with this because I'm like you, Obi, I want to fast and get thin quick. Thanksgiving brings a whole lot of relatives we hardly ever see and sure wish I could lose some weight quick. But I know better then that.......for now at least. ha!

Hey everyone!

It's been a while since I logged onto this thread and wanted to say hi and see how you all were doing?

Things are going a little slow here but I still enjoy everyone's posts and sharing ideas. I am rereading Naturally Thin by Eating More by Jean Antonello. It was my favorite health book before The Overfed Head. Wish I would have stuck to it all the years since I read it. I remember talking to Jean once and she told me it would take about 5 yr. to lose the 50lb I needed to lose. I thought that was way to long. Those 5 yr. went by so fast. I should have taken her word for it. Another question I think I might have asked before. As we get older I think we wake up more at night and sometimes I am so hungry I can't get back to sleep. Does this happen to anyone else?

Yes. I eat a piece of fruit and drink some water, then go back to sleep.

Thanks, Fidder, that is reassuring.

Well, I've said this before but maybe this thread is winding down. I know there is a lot of info out there just now about IE but I don't suppose many people are taking it seriously. Last fall there was quite a few articles by Stephen Hawks on IE and he said he was writing a book but I've never seen hide nor hare of it. I just think there has to be another way out there besides struggling so to lose weight. After all, as kids and even for some of us young adults we didn't struggle. All I know is that after I began reading diet book after diet book my problem got much worse. As Jean Antenello puts it....."There are other things to think about."

I think the thread will never be as active as others because there isn't alot to it. No rules. I don't have strange headaches or aches or wondering if I am eating too much or too little or the right thing, or the wrong thing. I don't have all the questions I would have with everything else.

I do think you should leave the thread up. For the moment when you eat too much ice cream and you need some accountability or just a question about how other deal with different situations.

Just seems the longer you are on IE, and the more confortable you get...working out what is good for you...the less you need to question.

-Obie

I think maybe "Intuitive Eating" isn't an intuitive enough title for some people. If you've read the book, you know what it is, but if you haven't it's not immediately clear what intuitive eating means. Maybe a title like "Dieting Without Rules" or "Non-Dieting" or "Losing Without Dieting" would be more effective.

I don't think it's so much the questioning but the reassurance from others that they are going through some of the same things......like being hungry in the night. Thanks again, Fiddler.

Well I have been eating ok, although funny thing has been happening. Since I've been cooking at home more, I have been eating a little more because it tastes so good. I've stuck to increasing the miles although not everyday. 4 miles ever other day and no knees pain and i feel good.

Ok, now for my question with most diets you you have specific foods to eat and I try and have diet soda when I want something bubbly. Do you still eat low fat, low carb, weight watchers or do you go for the regular version of whatever it is?

I've often questioned the wisdom of a message board or even a thread for people who have given up dieting, but on the other hand I long to talk to people who know what I am going through. Lord knows it is near impossible to find it in "real life". But to think about it enough to write about it, does that constitute obsessing about food?

In just over a week I will be visiting family who tend to be very judgmental as far as weight. I am the only overweight one. I think I have gained about 30 pounds since I last saw them and I am not proud. They will not appreciate the progress I've made in my head.

Between our upcoming trip and my husband being sent out of town on the spur of the moment, I binged a little the last two days. I don't feel secure in our house and so I am very nervous of crime when he is gone (not that he would be a good protector as he sleeps through everything - ha). Plus I usually travel with him and worry when he is gone.

Anyway, I ate when I wasn't hungry and ate past full, and was not willing to stop and think about it. Well, my husband returned today, then today my period started (surprise) and that probably was a big contributor because today was completely normal as far as food, and I would even call it a light appetite day.

Fiddler and Carol, I wake up in the night sometimes because I need to use the restroom or if I do not put my wrist braces on (carpal tunnel, I think) my arms hurt. My thoughts often turn to food. I don't indulge everytime now, but I wonder why it is so hard to just lay down and go to sleep. Seems like it always has to be something, food or tv, I guess I haven't mastered "just being".

I need to work on things.

The thing with me is that I am REALLY hungry when I wake at night....so much so that I can't sleep and get nauseous. I don't think it is the prednisone now because I'm on a really low dose. I am really having trouble being hungry in the evening and on and am raveonus by morning. This is real hunger I'm talking aboiut and not craving. My craving for sweets is nearly past. Obi, I posted a thread about splenda because as hard as I try to use it it makes me sick. Guess others have the same problelm I think soda sometimes has nutrasweet but I don't drink soda just cause I'm not crazy about it. After I eat breakfast, I'm usually satisfied until lunch but by 4pm the hunger starts in again. I can't get insurance because of long time health problems and don't like to go to the dr. anyway so stay away as much as possible. They usually don't have answers about silly things like hunger. Also most of the time I buy real foods. Just don't like the low carb, low fat things.

I just ordered the Overfed Head and I can't wait to read it. I've read Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, which I loved, so I can't wait to get Rob Steven's book. Obsidian I know you've read it, has anyone else? What did everyone think?

You can read the first chapter over at the thintuition website. With most diets books (intuitive eating included) you have some expert telling you what you should do with some case studies showing how their theories worked sprinkled in to make you go "oh wow" this must be something good.

Overfed head is a plain speak first person book. It isn't filled with charts and diagrams and blah blah blah. Also it just makes plain old common sense. I was trying IE before I read this, but this helped it all click together for me.

One thing I always mention is the end when he tell you he left off a FAQ section because you have to answer questions about yourself ...no one else can do that.

Big ole light bulb went off on that one....

Having said that I think I am more of an intuitive eating (the book) person. They mention nutrition and excercise in their book.

I use the Overfed head scale to decide how hungry I am and someone on here posted countin how much you have chewed to slow down your eating and enjoy your food.

I went through a few stages and I am sure other can chime in....
At first I...
I was afraid to eat forbidden things.(I remember eating a hamburger just because I could) I avoided eating things I had to eat on previous diets (salad)


Then..
I paid attention to when I wasn't hungry, realized most times I could cut my portions in half and not miss it. Chewed about 30 times to force myself to slow down and enjoy food. gave up eating in places where I rushed or hide what I ate (my car).


Now...
food isn't such a big deal anymore. This week I had a half eaten kit kat on a shelf for 2 or 3 days. I don't get scared if I have to eat out. I still have issues eating till I am satisfied, but I try to eat smaller portions and eat again later when I am hungry again. (I haven't had a foot long subway sandwich in months and couldn't imagine eating one now).

I will say for me, i have to excercise. I have been doing 4 miles every other day and I feel the difference (looking forward to the weigh in next month).

Ok, that was entirely too long, but felt like posting.:carrot:

Snowbunny, This is a good time in your life to go with IE. I have been dieting for 30 yr and believe if I had just followed this way I would not be 60lb overweight. I have 10 kids and used to lose some between pregnancies but then started doing a lot of fasting and really put on weight. I was an intuitive eater as a young adult. I have also battled prednisone (steroid) hunger because I have a chronic disease that I have had almost as long as I have been dieting.

Wavin' hello to everyone! I posted in the Living Maintenance Thread a few times and had this one recommended. I definitely belong here! I have tried the staying focused, counting calories, and exercising religiously before and it just is never sustainable for me.

My short history is I was never terribly overweight but just struggled with 10 pounds or so which I was constantly going up and down and up and down and well, you guys know. I read the Intuitive Eating book about 5 years ago, tossed my scale and since then have been working at it. While I can never say I've totally *arrived* I am MUCH MUCH better these days and really do eat what I want, stop when I'm satisfied at least most of the time.

I feel so very at home in myself and am so much less obsessed with food. I exercise, but for the joy of it and not for hours at a time and doing the things I enjoy, mostly walking and some simple floor stuff.

Anyway I've read back through at least part of this long thread and it's nice to see a group like this.

What causes you to have second thoughts about IE?
 

Welcome to the list Cindy.

Ok, I have a question, how much does what you read and what people tell you effect what you eat?

So over a month ago I bought precooked bbq ribs (I hadn't had ribs all summer, so I figured why not) I threw them in the freezer and didn't think about them until this weekend. Also I was on 3FC looking at a thread about all the foods you think are good for you and aren't....and I just looked at the ribs and thought they were a heart attack in a package....

The I thought ok, I hadn't planned on eating the whole package in one shot more like over 2-3 days, with veggies, and I wasn't going to eat ribs all day everyday...

There was also a mention of jucies and such...and I realized i was slowly on the way to dieting again....I just think if I take everything in moderation and don't overeat....I should be ok...

Anyway, Ribs are done (no great desire to have them again anytime soon), making marinated grilled chicken and veggies tonight.

As for the working out. Taking that in moderation and I enjoy it more as a result. I set my goal for the week, and as long as I hit it...I am ok.

How is everyone else doign?:carrot:

Ie
 

:welcome3: Cindy. We can use all the help we can get! Obi, I think eveyone has a different idea about what we should eat. If you were doing Atkins the ribs would be fine as long as you used a sugar free sauce. Even drs are always changing their minds. I even change mine from week to week. You know how that goes......if you eat something often enough it loses its appeal. That always amazes me. I've been kind of discouraged lately because I have been really hungry. Such a learning process this is!!!!