Welcome Lisa! I'm really considering reading the book Overfed Head. I'm glad you joined us! Congrats on the 3 pounds in 3 weeks!
I'm dealing with a lot of emotional stuff right now and I've been finding myself overeating. It's not too pretty! I don't want to do this to myself anymore. I know just sitting and letting myself feel those emotions are a lot better than trying to push them down and cover them up with food. I'm amazed that a lot of you are eating when your hungry and stopping when you are satisfied. I do that mostly in the morning and afternoon, but when it comes to the evening, I tend to go crazy with food. I'm really struggling right now. What have you done through these times that has helped?
hi Christy, Thanks for the tips on weighing. I needed to hear that. I have more trouble in the evening, too. My hubby expects a big supper every night. Sometimes I do way to much tasting. What I needed was just to be aware of hunger. Try to ask yourself before you eat if you are hungry. Then there is a problem with getting too hungry. I usually overeat then so have to watch that, too.
I've read through this thread and am fascinated with this concept. I just need a tool to help relieve me from my warm blankie of emotional eating. I'm on my way to the bookstore now to look for some more information, but in the meantime found this that I thought I would share
Christy, I also want say thanks about the tips for weighing. I decided to go ahead an weigh this morning (Stupid me) and I was up a couple of pounds from last week. I got mad but forgot to take into account several things. First of all, going back to work. I have been eating well, but I haven't been getting the liquids that I am used to. I know I am dehydrated and my body is holding onto any excess fluid that it can. My weight can fluctuate with fluid as many as five pounds from one day to the next. The scale is not my friend. I need allow myself the time necessary for real change. I hate how a couple of pounds ruined my morning! Note to self: Don't weigh!!!!
Hi all. Christy I also want to thank you for the notes on weighing. I weighed myself this morning and was up a pound and a half. Right away my mind started thinking "maybe I am not eating enough, maybe I am eating too much, and maybe I need to try something else". I became instantly depressed. I then came here and now I feel better. I am going to try and stick with it. I am obsessed with the scale and get on it at least two times a day. This is a habit I must break. I think we can all do this if we stick together. It is hard because the diet mentality in my head says I am not loosing weight so this is not working.
As for the emotional stuff - well that is hard. Sometimes I am successful with not using food, sometimes I am not. Lately when I felt like eating when I am not hungry, I run and reread sections of one of my books. This reinforces the concepts and make me feel stronger. Other times I may watch a funny movie to get my mind off the emotional stuff and off food. A little laughter can do wonders. Other times - well I just eat! LOL
Those are great tips, Lisa. I am bugged right now because I have spent almost 2 hr. trying to get my internet to work!!!! My hubby would kill me. Ha! But I am not hungry so I won't eat. ok? I keep reading The Overfed Head. That guy is so senisible. Now if I can just do it!
I just ordered The Overfed Head from the library. I can't wait to read that!
Lisa, my heart goes out to you with how you feel about what the scale showed this morning. Thursday was my WW weigh in day and I was tempted to weigh myself this morning, but I know with the emotional eating I have done this week that my weight has increased, so I know better than to really pound that fact into my head. You said that you weigh yourself twice a day. How about slowly "weaning" yourself off of it by maybe starting to do it once a day, then twice a week, then once a week, then once every two weeks, once a month, etc.? Just a thought. Or you could always go "cold turkey."
A goal I have for today and for a week is going to be to eat mindfully. I think that will pretty much cover the emotional eating too. Because when I'm eating because of emotions, it's not mindfully. So that's my goal. I have picked 2 places that I will treat myself to eat. I don't want this to be a law or some rigid rule, so I'm gently telling myself that I have 2 places to sit and eat and enjoy what's on my palate. One place is the kitchen/dining-room table and the other is this recliner in our livingroom (where there is no TV). This may be a challenge at times, but I have to start with some mini goals. When I'm at work I will eat at table without the distraction of a computer.
Christy - I tried cold turkey before and could not do it. The scale is so addictive to me. I am going to make my mini goal this week to only get on the scale once a day. I like your strategy of weaning myself off it.
Carol - you can do it. We all can. Here is another tip I heard on the View from a guy who wrote a book called "The French don't get fat" or something like. Basically what he said was put a small serving on your plate - knowing you will probably need to go back for seconds. Eat slowly and many times you will find that you are full and do not need to go back for more food. I am also going to try this week.
Hello Everyone! I got an invite from Carol and I've been reading up on the thread. I need to look into some of the books mentioned here and do some reading up on IE. I'm not sure if what I do is IE exactly, but I've given up on dieting completely. I'm a 31 year old wife and mother of 1 (or 2 if you count my husband as I sometimes do) who has been battling weight issues since the age of 10. I've tried just about every diet on the planet and have recently come to the conclusion that diets don't work for me. I always gain back any weight that I lost (plus some more usually) whenever my diet is over. So I decided to take my life back and change the way I think about food and exercise.
I try to control my portions and limit the amount of fat and sugar that I eat. I eat as many fresh fruits and vegetables as I can and I stay away from processed anything as much as I can. Nothing is off limits as long as it's in moderation. I try to exercise a little each day and would like to work in much more as my schedule permits.
There's been much discussion of weighing. I love to weigh myself. I used to be obsessed with it and would weigh daily. But that was counter productive. As it has been said here both good and bad weigh-ins would cause overeating. So I now only weigh myself once a week and always at about the same time. I use it just to track progress. If it's down, I'm happy. If it's the same, I tell myself that at least it's not up. If it's up, I try to think about what I did that week and what I may need to improve on. So far it works for me. From what I've learned at 3FC, the scale is a very personal issue.
There's been lots of talk about eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're full. I try to eat a little before I'm hungry. I've found that if I wait until my stomach tells me I'm hungry, then I tend to eat more. I also tend to make worse food decisions. And I think limiting portions ties into stopping when you're full. I've been a member of the "clean plate club" since I was little and it was hard to learn that it's OK to wrap it up for later or ever <gasp> throw out food that you don't want to finish.
I've recently moved and have taken to riding the bus to work. Since I now walk to the bus stop to and from home and work (totals about 35-45 minutes of walking per day) I have noticed a dramatic change in the way my clothes fit. I'm sure part of it is the way I'm eating, but I think that the exercise is a major component too.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to learning more about IE and seeing if I can be an active part of this thread. It sounds very interesting. Even if my WOE isn't IE exactly, I think they're pretty similar. Nice to meet y'all and I hope to get to know you better!
I generally cook in quantity and then freeze individual portions to take to work for lunch during the week. One side effect I have noticed from this is that when my head is telling me I am hungry but my body is not, often just the act of cooking the food--handling it and smelling it for an hour or however long it takes to prepare--satisfies the "hunger" in my head and I don't really feel like eating by the time I am done.
My parents finally returned from Wyoming and brought my "baby" (10 year old son) home. He had been home a while and he came to me and said, "Mom, I'm looking in the kitchen, but I know I'm not hungry. What should I do?" I was really impressed! We got out the "Hi Ho Cherry-oh" game and played a couple of times (Simple game so my 3 year old can play too). I haven't told him much about IE. I have talked a little about eating, and we've always tried to focus on healthy food choices. It was just ironic how he was really listening to himself, and I ignored my thoughts and ate some popcorn when I knew that I really didn't want it. I cooked it under the excuse that maybe my three year old would eat because he didn't eat dinner. He ate 2 bites of the popcorn and was done.
Christy, I am really making a point of eating at the dinner table. We used to let the kids eat in front of the tv. We had every excuse to let them do so.
It only took a few days of insisting that they eat at the table, with the tv off, for them to get into the habit of eating at the table again. Now they don't even ask. I have had a bad habit of bringing food into the bedroom and snacking while watching tv or doing school work. I've decided that crumbs in the bed are highly undesirable
4thefuture, Looking at the description of your WOE, I would say it sounds pretty intuitive. You aren't restricting so much as trying to apply a little common sense. I can't wait until I'm too hungry, because like you, I make poor food choices when my blood sugar gets too low.
Lisa, Good luck on your weighing goal!
Carol, Doesn't it just feel like the end of the world when you have no internet?? I am glad that you got it working!!(And that you didn't need food to handle the stress)
Well, I'm heading off to bed so I can get up and work out before I go to work. They open the school at 6:30 a.m. and I like to get there before anyone else gets there to distract me. School starts Tuesday, and my room looks like a tornado went through it. Luckily my student teacher will be there to help me get everything in order. I insist that I am allergic to cleaning and should not be forced to tidy up after myself!!! (Okay.... wishful thinking)
Keep up the good work ladies!!!!!
Hi everyone.
Welcome 4thefuture. I would say you are doing IE. I also need to eat before I get really really hungry because that will promote overeating. Read some of the books mentioned. They all are pretty similar and can be found on Amazon.com.
Kay -my son (15) has this IE process down pat. I never made him eat when he was younger, even it was dinner time. All through his life he has never eaten when he was not hungry. Some days he eats very little and I wonder how does survive off so little food. Other days it seem like he is eating everything in the house. I think this is the way to go as he as never had a weight problem.
Yesterday was not a good day as I think I ate a couple of times when I wasn’t really hungry. My problem is also once I am eating something I really like - it is hard to put the fork down. I really need to tell myself that I can have more later if I get hungry. I just love the taste of food. I also think I need to make better food choices. Since I started I think I rebelled against dieting and started eating everything that previously not allowed on most diets - pizza, regular soda anything fried, Mexican. I think this is natural as most of the books state that eventually I will not want those things. It is just that I have deprived myself of them for so long. Everything should be able to be eaten in the correct portion and only when hungry. I also am exercising now doing Turbo Jam which is really really fun once you get the hang of it.
Hi all. Here is some good information I found about IE.
Honor Your Hunger—Eat Only When Physically Hungry
Keep your body fed biologically with adequate energy, otherwise, you can trigger a primal drive to overeat. When you reach the point of excessive hunger, all intentions of moderation are gone. You will overeat (eating to a stuffed/full sensation.).
Eat only when physically hungry because any food that goes into your body when you are not hungry will get stored. IF you have any doubts about whether you are hungry or not, you probably aren’t! True hunger is unmistakable.
If you are not able to gauge your degree of hunger at first, this rule of thumb can help you get back on the normal hunger track: Go no longer than 5 waking hours without eating, then assess your hunger level. (Your liver’s energy tank runs out of “gas” in about 3-6 hours).
Assess Your Hunger Level
The hunger scale is a way to describe your level of hunger, by describing it you become more conscious and better able to assess your hunger and need for food. You can lose weight and never gain it back, if you eat only when you’re physically hungry (a 3 on the hunger scale) and only eat until you are satisfied (5 on the hunger scale). If you often eat until you are uncomfortably stuffed you will gain weight, especially when your physical activity is limited.
0 – So hungry that you are not hungry
1 – Headache, shaky, too hungry to care what or how much you eat—you WILL overeat
2 – Losing concentration, grumpy—seriously hungry – your stomach is empty, you must eat now
3 – I’m hungry, stomach growling
4 – Not hungry, but not satisfied
5 – Satisfied, comfortable, not hungry
6 – In slight discomfort, you feel the food
7 – Uncomfortable – sleepy, sluggish, you want to change into loser clothes
8 – “I ate too much – I am stuffed” Very uncomfortable, stomach hurts
9 – Overly stuffed
10 – In pain. Thanksgiving Dinner – take a nap
Assess Your Level of Fullness
Listen for the body signals that tell you, you are no longer hungry. Observe the signs that show you’re comfortably full…not stuffed. Stop when you’re halfway through your meal and ask yourself what your current fullness is. To control your weight under any circumstance you must develop good eating habits. The key to good eating habits is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue eating until you are satisfied and not a bite more. It is being able to choose food you like and consume it without the fear of weight gain. Regular eating habits distinguish good eating habits. For most people this means eating three meals a day and including snacks to satisfy hunger. Good eating habits should be regulated by internal signals of hunger, appetite and fullness. The goal is to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are satisfied.
Healthy Eating Reminders
• Remind yourself constantly that NO food will make you fat, as long as it is eaten in moderation, moderation means eating when you are hungry and stopping before you are uncomfortably full
• Eat a variety of foods, eat a little of everything you are served. A wide variety of foods are essential for a balanced diet. Just as no one food will make you fat (eaten in moderation), no one food contains all the nutrients you need for a well balanced diet.
• Don’t feel obligated to clean your plate by eating every crumb.
• When you habitually clean your plate, your eating style goes on autopilot—you eat until completion, until your food is gone. You may certainly be aware that you are engaged in the act of eating, we find that somewhere between bites one and one hundred there is a significant level of unconsciousness
• Pause in the middle of a meal or snack. Are you still hungry? Do you feel unsatisfied, or is your hunger going away and you are beginning to feel satisfied?
• Satisfying your hunger means that you are no longer hungry—you have eaten the right amount of food to fill your stomach and take away any feelings of hunger
• Overeating means that you have overfilled your stomach—your waistband feels tighter, your fat cells are anxiously awaiting that extra serving of poogie bait, snack food, lasagna or extra bites of pizza.
• Resign immediately from the CLEAN PLATE CLUB! You can always eat again whenever you are hungry. Remember it is better WASTED than WAISTED.
• Cope with your emotions without food, don’t use food to bury your feelings. An emotional eater learns early on that food is a great way to cope. Here are some reasons why you may eat other than for physical hunger:
Cope with your emotions by developing healthy coping mechanisms. Do activities that will help you keep your mind off of food or the emotional feelings that are triggering you to eat? Try the following:
o Increase physical activity. Exercise can help clear your mind and decrease your frustration or stress.
�� Do a few sit ups or push ups
�� Take a walk or a jog
o Plan activities that are not centered around eating or food. Try to actively think of things that you can do when you are bored or have some extra time on your hands.
�� Play cards
�� Crossword puzzles
�� Write a letter
�� Read a book
I am on a Thintuition email - so here is some information I received. I had originally signed up for the site - but there was not much activity on the boards so I cancelled it.
Diet Mentality vs. Thintuition
1. Birth to age 1: Diet Mentality
Your mother listens to doctors, authors and weight loss experts about what, when and how much to feed you. You start listening to them instead of to your own body. The cycle begins.
1. Birth to age 1: Thintuition
Your mother trusts that you will let her know when you are hungry. She lets you decide what tastes good and when you have had enough. She doesn’t make you eat anything you don’t like or encourage you to eat more than you need.
2. Young Child 2-3: Diet Mentality
Mom makes the decisions about what and how much you should eat. She starts teaching you that she knows better than you what your body needs. She starts training you to eat foods that you don’t really like because they are foods she thinks you should have. She also teaches you to finish everything on your plate and to not waste food.
2. Young Child 2-3: Thintuition
Mom is relaxed about food. She gives you a variety of foods and starts noticing and accepting which ones you like and which ones you don’t like. She offers you lots of new tastes, textures, smells and colors and lets you decide what you like eating best and what you want to leave on your plate. Throwing away food is no big deal.
3. Child 4-9: Diet Mentality
One or both or your parents continue to push certain nutritional foods on you and start to play games to get you to eat when you are not hungry or eat more than you physically want or need to eat. You also start to learn that if you eat the foods you don’t like, then you will get the foods you do like, especially dessert. You are convinced that Mom knows better than you about what and how much you should eat. So in order to please her, you give in to her and mind her. It’s a lot easier to give in than to deal with disappointing her. (Most of these Moms are either overweight themselves or compulsively thin)
3. Child 4-9: Thintuition
Your parents are liberal about giving you a variety of foods and not overly focused on giving you foods based on their content (calories, fat grams or carbs) and let you decide how much you should eat. They teach you that food is simply fuel for your body and how more nutritious foods will make your body run better. There is no pressure about food. They teach you that food has no power to do anything other than provide you with needed nutrients, energy and sustenance. You know that pleasing your parents has nothing to do with what is or is not on your plate or what you do or don’t eat. Food is rarely a major topic of family discussion, merely playing another part of everyday life. (These parents have had very few issues with weight and seem to simply enjoy a variety of foods without obsessing about them.)
4. Youth 10-12: Diet Mentality
You start realizing that you can get away with secretly eating the foods you really want (like chocolate) rather than eating the healthier foods your parents push on you. You start using food as a way to communicate your independence and power. Your parents start noticing this and exert more power over you, laying down family laws like enforcing membership in “the clean plate club” or some variation on that theme. While you know that can get away with many things, you also know that you must keep your parents happy, so you try to abide by their rules. At the same time, you notice that by exerting independence and power by sneakily eating “bad foods” that your waistline is starting to grow. This is starting to become a problem, as is fitting in with others.
4. Youth 10-12: Thintuition
Your parents let you make more of your own decisions in life, unrelated to food, and this feels good. You have no emotional attachments to food and feel no pressure from your parents to please them with regard to eating or not eating certain foods. They trust you to be in touch with what your body needs, eating when you get hungry and stopping when your hunger is satisfied. You understand basic nutrition, but give it very little thought as you just eat whatever sounds good-- whenever you get hungry enough to eat. The focus in your activities and with your friends is not on food but on the people you are with. Food and eating take very little thought.
5. Early Teen 13-16: Diet Mentality
You are starting to not feel good about your body. You are not doing all of the things you want to do in life. Your size is starting to effect your decisions about what activities you participate or don’t participate in--especially not doing some of the things that the other, thinner kids are doing. Your parents are concerned for your well being and want to help. So they recommend that you go on a diet to help lose weight. Or they send you to your family doctor, who recommends that you go on a diet. He tells you that if you don’t do something soon, you will get even larger and it could become a health issue. Food, eating and your weight are now a major concern and your eating habits are now primarily based on following a weight loss diet. This is the time when you first start to be disconnected from listening to your body to guide your eating. Your eating starts being dictated by external sources, not internal ones. It becomes your way of life for the rest of your life.
You can’t understand why some of your thin friends are not having similar weight issues even though they are eating the foods they love--foods you miss eating because you are on a diet. You start learning about good and bad foods, low fat foods, carbs, proteins, fat grams, calories, etc. while your thin friends don’t focus on any of these things. You believe that dieting is the way to get thin. You believe that the harder you try to stick to your diet, the more success you will have. Your parents acknowledge you for doing well on the diet and express disappointment when you don’t follow it. Your emotions fluctuate based on your success or lack of success with your diet. Food and dieting are taking a huge amount of time and thought.
You are also told you have to exercise, even though you hate it, because your parents or the doctor say you must. You begin the roller coaster ride of weight loss and weight gain. You’re either on a diet, then off a diet. You’re always looking for the next best diet or exercise program. Your weight is becoming an increasingly difficult problem to solve.
5. Early Teen 13-16: Thintuition
School is your major focus. You are making friends and developing your personality. Food and eating are left in tact, as a natural function of living. You are beginning to be interested in a larger variety of foods and are left alone to enjoy these new foods. Food is just food to you. Food has no good or bad connotations. You have very little understanding of the content of food. You just know that when you are hungry, there will be food, and you will eat whatever sounds good to eat at that time. In socializing with your friends you are beginning to make up opinions about some of your friends who are getting fat and are wondering why they are getting this way. You are active and enjoy playing outdoors. You have the freedom to exercise whenever you feel like it and its fun. You don’t equate exercise with losing weight to because weight is not an issue for you.
6. Teen 17-19: Diet Mentality
You are in a set pattern of diet mentality. Your life has shifted, as many of your decisions in life are filtered through your issues with weight. Your weight frequently stops you from doing what you really want to do in life.
Life feels like it’s gone off course as you feel a lack of satisfaction and wholeness in many areas of your life. You also start making compromises to compensate for the problem with your weight. You might not go after the education or career you really want because fat people can’t do that. Or you date people below whom you desire just because they accept you. Your happiness is reflected by the size of your clothes or the numbers on the scale. You feel little power to change this problem without the help of someone or something else. And the diet industry is your saving grace. You can’t have the life you want being fat. But the diet industry will help you attain the life you want because their programs all sound so fast and easy. Others succeed at them so why not you? And people tell you how cute your face would be if you would just lose weight. You are always either on or off a diet, starving or binging. This cycle continues for the rest of your life. Even so, you believe that some day you will find that perfect diet, program or pill and lose all your excess weight, keep it off for good and have everything you ever imagined--just like all of these happy people on those weight loss commercials you always see.
6. Teen 17-19: Thintuition
You are deciding on what education or career sounds interesting, while enjoying new friendships. Many of your relationships seem healthy and satisfying. Your focus is on friends and meeting new people and learning what interests you by testing your boundaries. Still, food and eating occupy little space in your head other than to ask yourself what really sounds good whenever you get hungry. Your family does not impose pressure on you or acknowledge you for what you are eating or discipline you for eating something you shouldn’t. Food has no emotional charge and is not used as a tool for power or manipulation. Nor do you feel the need to hide whatever you enjoy eating.
No food is of limits and you dislike feeling full (feeling pressure in your stomach) from overeating. You are discovering that your physical appearance has a lot to do with how you are being perceived. You take responsibility for how you look and know you can manage this. Being thin feels good and healthy. You are optimistic about the future and the endless possibilities it holds. You wonder why some of your friends are always dieting, or constantly obsessing about food or their weight. You feel compassion for them but are perplexed why you eat what you want and stay thin while they always diet or eat healthy foods and stay fat. You think that maybe you were just born with the thin gene and they were just born with the fat gene.
7. Young Adult 20-35: Diet Mentality
The roller coaster ride continues as you spend thousands of dollars on diets and on exercise equipment or programs. You get endless opinions and advice from doctors, nutritionists, friends etc. Your weight is the major issue in your life. Even if you are not constantly talking about it, it’s always on your mind. You can’t seem to figure out why you have so much success in some areas of your life and yet you have no long-term success in managing your weight. Even when you manage to successfully lose weight, keeping it off becomes nearly impossible. And you can’t figure out why this is so, no matter how hard you try. You start believing that this is a problem you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. This desperation causes you to start experimenting with potentially dangerous drugs or wacky diet programs, regardless of their potential health consequences. The larger issue is just getting the weight off, no matter what, once and for all.
People begin to tell you that they love you either way. They just want you to be healthy and happy. You begin to feel overwhelmed with all of the information about food, exercise and the best way to lose weight. Everyone has a different opinion. You start adapting your personality to compensate for not being able to control your overweight condition, like becoming the funny person, or the over achiever, or acting like you are happy being fat. You use food to reward or punish yourself, or to help you deal with your emotions, even though you know that food will never really solve your problems, only add to them. You also get a lot of attention from being overweight, complaining about how hard it is, commiserating with your overweight family and friends. And food is generally the major focus of any get together.
Since you can’t solve the problem permanently, you start resigning yourself to just accept being fat. You try modifying your clothing or hanging out with people who are also fat or those who are on a lower playing field than you are, to make yourself feel better. You start creating a reasonable dramatic story about why you are fat, such as a reaction to the hardships you suffered as a child, or finding an effective way to keep others at a safe distance. Still, you believe that once you find the right weight loss program, you will have the life you have always wanted. It’s all about someday when this weight issue is over with. You wonder why all of those people on the commercials seem to be able to do it, and it’s so easy. What’s wrong with you?
7. Young Adult 20-35: Thintuition
Your career is starting to blossom. Your professional life is consistent with your vision of a happy future. You still have some issues from your past. Some of them you have dealt with, and others remain in place. But eating to deal with those issues or to not deal with them doesn’t cross your mind. You deal or don’t deal with your issues in ways other than by going to food. Some of those ways are healthy and productive, like communicating with others or asking for help. Other coping behaviors may be more destructive or addictive like explosive anger, drinking, smoking, gambling, shopping or sex. Still, food remains neutral for you, even though life is throwing you some curve balls. You are connected to your body; you eat what you want whenever you get hungry, and you stop eating when your hunger disappears-- because you simply don’t like feeling full.
You enjoy getting a compliment from someone who admires how good you look. You are concerned about how fat some of your friends or family members are getting but fear that trying to help them might be considered offensive. You think that maybe they might envy you for having a faster metabolism. You might enjoy playing sports or exercising or neither and still you remain thin. You might eat healthy foods or you might eat junk food. Neither ever affects your weight.
Everywhere you go you see how much focus our culture places on weight loss. You see all the low carb, low fat, low calorie menus. You read about all the lawsuits, watch endless diet and exercise commercials and infomercials. Sometimes it even becomes kind of irritating to have all of this advertising thrust on you when you have no interest in it whatsoever. It seems so unnecessary for our culture to place so much emphasis on food and eating when food should just be enjoyed and not obsessed about.
When you are with family, you enjoy some of the memories associated with various foods from childhood and its fun. Your parents are still thin and active. They like treating you to meals out at your favorite restaurant or making you the foods you have always loved. Food and eating are a natural part of your every day life, not any more or less important.
8. Adult 36-50: Diet Mentality
You are still dieting, having successful weight loss, followed by weight gain, which leaves you even fatter than you were before your last diet. Or you have just accepted yourself for the way you are, telling people that you are happy being fat. But deep down, this is really a lie. You surround yourself with others who share your beliefs about how to lose weight, through diet and exercise, and support your efforts to do so. Your doctor has told you that your weight is becoming a medical issue and that it could cause more serious health problems. He recommends seeing a nutritionist. The nutritionist moderates your diet and you have short-term success. But the weight comes right back. You may begin to consider getting involved with a fat acceptance group or overeaters anonymous because these people will understand and accept you just the way you are. Still, you are intrigued by what the diet industry keeps telling you. You still listen to the latest weight loss theories from the best selling author/doctors, especially the ones who propose diets that allow you to eat unlimited amounts of this or that food. Or you believe the scientist who says that being overweight is genetic and not your fault.
Even though you are extremely frustrated with your body and your weight, you are learning to cope with accept your persisting weight issue. All the while, you hold on steadfastly to the hope that someday the magic cure will come. Or you might be considering gastric bypass surgery as a last resort, especially if you are obese enough that your doctor recommends it. “After all, obesity is a disease and it’s not my fault. If my insurance will pay for it, why not do it? After all, look what it did for Carney Wilson and Al Roker. It could just be the answer to all my problems.”
8. Adult 36-50: Thintuition
You are enjoying your career and focusing on the quality of life. Your health is important to you, so you may choose to eat healthier foods because they fit into your healthy lifestyle and your commitment to maintaining a healthy future. Sometimes you eat some really wild, fun or exotic foods. You continue to eat the way you have always eaten, only when you are hungry and stop eating when you are comfortable and satisfied. You have no issues around throwing away food or saving it for later. Food is very satisfying when you are hungry and dining out at nice places is very enjoyable after a long week.
9. Mature Adult 51-65: Diet Mentality
You are staring to have some health issues, like diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, joint pain or other pains in your body. Attractive and stylish clothes are harder to find. While it appears that your weight does not restrict you, the truth is that it is costing you in many areas of your life. You keep trying the latest diet and exercise program, do well on it and then gain it all back, plus some. You really got dealt a bad hand in the genetic or metabolic gene pool. The thought of strangling one of those thin people, who must all come from another planet, sounds like fun.
Yet hope still springs eternal that the answer to all your prayers lies in modern science or medicine, or in the billions spent on research, or in the next product that famous diet and exercise gurus are all working on discovering that will finally give you the long term results you so desperately desire. “They have to be getting close to coming out with a safe, healthy and effective pill, with tolerable side effects, that will melt away the pounds as I sleep, so I will have everything I want in my twilight years. Well I didn’t get to have it when I was young, but hey, it’s all about enjoying the older years.” Or, “I accept myself as I am and no one is going to tell me what to do. I’m fine the way I am and it’s certainly not my fault. After all, I was born with big bones. And it’s no secret that after women go through the change, weight gain is just inevitable.”
9. Mature Adult 51-65: Thintuition
This is the time when you can finally enjoy all of the effort and hard work you have put into everything that has been important to you. You notice how your body doesn’t seem to want as much food as it has wanted in past years. You just seem to have more left over on your plate at the end of a meal. Or, since the portion sizes in restaurants are so huge, you often split or share your yummy meal with your dining companion when you dine out. Still, your weight has never changed much over the years. You feel compassion for others in your circle of friends and family who continue to struggle with their weight or are having health issues from being overweight. But you are fed up with listening to this incessant talk of dieting, of good and bad foods, of exercise, etc. and you start limiting the amount of time you spend with these people.
10. Senior 65 and up: Diet Mentality
You are done with diets, at this point, and you are simply surviving all of the ailments associated with your overweight condition. You are on more than one medication and it’s very costly. You would like to do more activities and enjoy these retirement years, but it’s just not possible. So you begin collecting Lladro® figures and have over 100 pieces in your collection. QVC is a priority in your life and spending money is your association to fun. Yet you still like talking about special foods and diets. You tend to patronize places that offer lots of food for a low price. You are not as concerned about your weight as you once were. “After all, my days are numbered now and I am going to enjoy food and stop worrying about my weight. If I couldn’t do anything about it all my life, I’m sure not going to do anything about it now, especially since my metabolism has slowed down to a crawl. Besides, I have a good insurance plan to cover my medical expenses. Joan Rivers® has a new jewelry collection on QVC, and then it’s off to the Chinese buffet.” The annual Richard Simmons ® Cruise to Lose becomes your annual vacation and lets your friends and family know that you are still trying. Yet you come back having gained 6 pounds on the cruise, but you got to tell everyone on the cruise your horrible story of rejection as a child, which they listen to with glazed eyes from hearing it so many times over the years.
10. Senior 65 and up: Thintuition
Life is good. You finally have the freedom to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. Traveling is fun. You finally have the time to take up those beloved hobbies you didn’t have time for when you were working so much in your younger years. Still, eating is just fuel for your body. And although you have some issues with your health, they are not related to your weight. You’re planning a hike through the desert this winter as part of your winter vacation. The idea of hiking 30 miles at age 70 sounds delightful, especially since the tour company brings along some of the most amazing food.
I don't want to do this to myself anymore. I know just sitting and letting myself feel those emotions are a lot better than trying to push them down and cover them up with food. I'm amazed that a lot of you are eating when your hungry and stopping when you are satisfied. I do that mostly in the morning and afternoon, but when it comes to the evening, I tend to go crazy with food. I'm really struggling right now. What have you done through these times that has helped? 
