Dear Kotex,
I recently got this in an e-mail from a friend and thought of it as I was reading a post about a lot of us being TOM at the same time.
Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch of
"Kotex Tips for Life" on it.
Annoying advice such as:
- Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
- Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
- Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products
Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a
functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman
that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh.
See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the
chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first
responders will be females who just ovulated.
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on feminine hygiene
products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from
their elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own
recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.
Printing out **** advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and enough
to send a girl running to the Always brand. Mostly we'd like to forget
that we even need these products. It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try
to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap
to your products or the packaging.
Put the **** in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our
carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer!!!
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink
package announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store.
So take your tips for living and shove them right up your ***.
Ovarily Yours,
Miss PMS
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