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Old 05-11-2006, 12:05 PM   #211  
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WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............


1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.


2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.


3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S *** AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.


4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO


5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.


6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"


7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEP ER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.


8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.


10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)


11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.


12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

SEND THIS ALONG TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU KNOW WHO LIKE TO HAVE FUN.
MAKE THEM LAUGH AT THEMSELVES LIKE YOU PROBABLY DID....SADLY, MANY ARE TRUE!!
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Old 05-11-2006, 05:28 PM   #212  
on LAWL
 
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Katie--you just brought back some old college memories!
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:25 PM   #213  
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Christmas Cookie Recipe

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
2 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal

Sample the Crown to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Crown again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Crown is still OK, try another cup, just in case. Turn off the mixer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

Sample the Crown to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Crown Royal. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of ar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the bottle of Crown Royal.


Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:56 PM   #214  
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Sad News

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which went almost completely unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
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Old 12-08-2006, 02:06 PM   #215  
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Carm- Thanks for bringing this thread back up!

Kim - How did I know you would have something to add?
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Old 12-08-2006, 02:16 PM   #216  
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Actually at first I thought Carm was giving a rundown of my day yesterday.....
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Old 12-08-2006, 02:18 PM   #217  
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Kim--can I come bake with you??
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Old 12-08-2006, 02:32 PM   #218  
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Sure! Rum balls, coming up! (minds out of gutter...NOW!)
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Old 12-08-2006, 02:53 PM   #219  
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did you ever see the saturday night live with alec baldwin (one of his many) when he does the skit with his holiday balls?
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Old 12-08-2006, 04:34 PM   #220  
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OMG - my all time favorite - DH, BIL and I were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. "can't wait to get my hands on your Schweddy *****!"
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Old 12-08-2006, 06:10 PM   #221  
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Pete Shweddy is one of our holiday heros!!!!
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Old 12-09-2006, 05:29 PM   #222  
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ha ha ha
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