ThecandEs--I've been working really hard at retraining myself regarding some things I have believed since childhood, too. It's hard work, I'm not going to lie. Sometimes I feel like I'm making no progress at all, just repeating myself endlessly!! But sometimes an idea will click, FINALLY, and I'll get this surge of relief. What I do is repeat to myself, endlessly, the things I want to believe. I've mentioned before that when I eat I'll consciously tell myself, "eat what you want, no judgment and move on." In those few words I have wrapped up so many ideas I'm trying to learn! I'm trying to learn that it's okay to eat what I want, it's okay to eat according to my body's needs and desires, every single food doesn't have to be weighed and measured and judged for its value, I don't have to keep eating because someone else tells me to, if my body tells me to stop it's okay and I'll be able to eat later, and there is sooooo much more to life than occupying my brain cells thinking about food and eating. I managed to get all those thoughts into a mantra that means something to me. Perhaps you need a mantra yourself, something that works for you. Write down everything you're trying to learn, and then see what mantra you can come up with. The only way to get over guilt is to consciously work at it. One day, it'll click. :)

Thanks, Ryanne and sidhe! I suppose I just have to take this one meal at a time. Do any of you journal or write down your ups and downs during this process? For awhile a few years ago, I thought I had this IE thing licked and I was doing well. Then, I got discouraged because I wasn't losing weight and I stopped doing IE.

Good to here all the thoughts on IE. The cool weather munchies have hit me and I hope it doesn't get too bad because I'm fitting into a bunch of clothes I haven't worn for a long time. I have been using the eliptical almost every day not to lose weight but to help with blood pressure. It seems to help. Anyway, everything seems to taste great lately. Still have those wonderful garden tomatoes. I just received the IE, CD put out this year by the authors of the book you were talking about. I mostly got it for my son because if he can pick this up it will save him a lifetime of agony over weight.

I've gotta tell you all what just happened!!

I made dinner--pad thai from a box, with chicken and sugar snap peas. This is the second time I've tried this package, and the first time was a total bomb. I tweaked it and tried again tonight. Sat down to my dinner, and I was really not thrilled with the peas. So I scooted them to the side, telling myself that I didn't have to eat food that wasn't pleasing to me. I tried to continue eating, and had about 5 bites before I decided that I really wasn't pleased with the way this time turned out, either. So I took it in to the kitchen, threw it away, threw away the other portion, and looked in the fridge. I could have some chocolate milk...I could have some jello...I could have some turkey salad...then I realized that what I was doing was trying t o satisfy myself by eating everything else other than what I really wanted!! So I closed the fridge without taking anything and...walked out the door to Pick Up Stix! :lol: I got my pad thai, came home, ate less than half of it, decided I was full and content and put the rest in the fridge. Now, I realize I may not be able to do this all the time, but for tonight it was definitely the right answer. :D Talk about respecting myself! Not only did I NOT force myself to eat something I didn't want, but I also went to the trouble to get myself something that pleased me! :D

I feel like a rock star. :carrot:

sidhe! That's great! WTG!

Thanks. :D

As for the not losing weight thing...well, I don't really have any sort of wisdom to pass on to you. Like I said, I'm pretty new to this. But there are a few things I've read, and I'll just tell you about those.

First, there's the idea that if you really eat according to your body's signals, it will ask for the "right" amount of food to maintain you at the weight that is appropriate for you. Now, that appropriate weight is determined by your genetics and your activity level. I'm not saying this is you! BUT, if you just sat at a desk job all day then came home, even if you weren't eating a huge amount of food and paying really close attention to your hunger/full signals, you'd still maintain a body that could sit at a desk all day.

Okay, so, say you tried to get little bits of activity in your day, taking the stairs, parking further away, getting up to deliver messages. Then your body would ask you for what it needed to maintain a body that could do that all day.

Go hog wild, and get to the gym most days. Go dancing on the weekend. Take long bike rides once or twice a week. Spend a couple of days a week doing really heavy housework, lots of yardwork, really physically demanding things. Okay! Pay very close attention to your hunger/full signals, and your body will maintain its ability to live THAT lifestyle. Make sense?

Another idea is to pay really, really close attention to your full signals. My first sign (and I'm still kinda slow at catching it) is that food doesn't taste as good anymore. It's not that it's horrid or anything like that, it's just not as completely yummy. I'm having to pay really close attention to being okay with stopping eating whenever I feel full--I seem to be really hung up on "portions" and my mental idea of how much food I should need. It's a lot of effort to listen to when my body thinks it's done, instead of my brain. Perhaps you were eating a bit too far beyond full?

Also, one thing the book talks about (I peaked ahead) is the idea that your mental idea of your perfect body and your body's idea of the perfect body may be vastly different. This ties back in with my first point. Is your mentally-desired body realistic for who you physically are? I completely understand about just wanting to be *thinner*, but there will come a certain point for all of us where that just isn't realistic for our body types. Did you perhaps reach that point? Just a thought.

If it helps you, really try to focus on helping YOUR body become the best that IT can be. According to no one else's standards. If you give YOUR body sufficient food and activity, what does it become? It's worth investigating, isn't it? :)

Wow, sidhe, you should write a book!!!

I didn't realize there was a thread on here for my way of eating. I just love it!!!! I tried the Weigh Down Diet back in 2002 and lost 70 lbs pretty quickly enjoying a variety of delicious foods. Well, I gained all that weight back and plenty more with the pregnancy and birth of my daughter in 2004. Also with the addition of meds for Bipolar my weight got out of control. I bought the book Thin Within and have started back on this way of eating. I had been slacking the past couple of weeks and hadn't lost a pound. I realized yesterday that I really need to get motivated again. I cooked a hearty meal of barbque ribs, rice, sweet peas and biscuits. I ate very lightly. Stopped when I was at a comfortable state and did no snacking last night as I was not really hungry. I was very proud of myself as I watched my husband devour 4 bowls of Captain Crunch and I didn't want anything. He has never had a weight problem. He is fit and sexy I might add. I had lost a pound this morning. It is possible to eat a variety of foods and lose weight. I eat what I am craving in moderation. Sometimes I do just want fruit and veggies and sometimes I want a burger. But Food isn't here to torment us. It is here for the nourishment of our bodies and for us to enjoy. I am relearning this after losing it for a few years. I just don't look at foods as good and bad foods anymore. It is all about moderation and following your bodies signals for what it needs and wants. I don't really feel like I'm on a diet right now. Thanks for starting this thread.

Thanks, Sidhe,
Yes, I am a great maintainer. In the last year or so, I stopped IE because it was so frustrating for me, and just in the last few days I realize I have been eating beyond my fullness mark. I have not gained any weight in the last 5 years. I only lost weight when I did the South Beach diet, and I have kept that off. I refuse to believe I'm meant to be this weight. I'm way too heavy for my frame and I'm only 5'2". I just feel like I need something to get my body to realize it needs to let go of the fat. I guess I need to join a gym or something.

:o I'm sorry, am I writing too much?

No, you're insight is quite amazing!!!

sidhe, no way! This thread can always use more action. :D :carrot:

Something I find that helps, and is easy to forget about - when you don't know what you want, take some *time* to think about it. It doesn't always come to you instantly what you want. At least, I know I forget to do this, and then I end up eating something that's not really satisfying.

Just had dinner. Ugh! Realize I ate too much about 2 seconds too late. It was really good, though! I love eating what I want. lol
Think I'm gonna go take a walk.

Thanks, Carolr, I didn't see this before. I don't mind how long it takes, just that it actually works. ;) I was a year working on this before, and I didn't lose anything.

I've been thinking about this all day, and I really think it ties into what I wrote in my last post. You're a great maintainer. What that means is that you've figured out how to give your body just the perfect amount of food/energy to stay right here. Which is fantastic! So many people in this world struggle with maintaining anything, much less their weight! :lol: Think about this from your body's perspective: you're giving it just the right amount of energy to stay at your weight right now. At your weight right now, you say you're too heavy for your frame. But from all the information/feedback you're getting, your body is pretty well balanced, at this weight. MENTALLY you may not be and you may be wanting more from your life/body/activities, but to the mechanical system that is your body, things are about right.

I'm going to make some assumptions off of that (please take no offense, and absolutely correct me if I'm wrong!!). You spend a lot of time sitting because it's too tiring or too painful to get up and move around, right? You probably do as many tasks as you can at the same time (bring in groceries as many bags as you can at a time, carry a huge load of stuff up the stairs or into the other room at at once to minimize trips back and forth, have your kids or partner carry/move/lift things for you while you take care of something else). You've said maybe you need to "join a gym or something", so I'm going to assume you don't exercise regularly since it's not a conscious, integral part of your life.

Basically what I'm trying to get at here is that there's probably a lot of downtime in your life, and your body is maintaining at this caloric level because that's as much as you are using your body. You actually weren't eating a huge amount past "full", you were eating just about right. Your "just about right" is enough for as much as you're using your body right now. So if you want that to change, the way I'm understanding this whole thing, you've got to use your body more.

One thing I've noticed for many years is that if I exercise, I hit a very definite STOP at my next meal. It's like the storehouse is depleted and is being filled back up, and the moment it gets to the top again I'm done. My body is so attuned to itself that I rarely miss STOP after a workout. It's just the stopping every other time that I'm relearning! :dizzy:

The loss may be slow. It depends on how you were eating before. What I'm thinking is that if a person was eating way past full on calorie-dense foods, then eating just barely up to full--even if it's still on calorie-dense stuff--will shave off a few calories, but not a huge amount. If your body starts asking for healthier, less calorie-dense foods, then that difference is bigger. Say I decided that what I wanted to eat was a stack of cookies. I had 600 calories worth of cookies, stopped when I was content per volume (when my tummy was full) and went on with life. At the next meal I wanted salad (hey, it's been known to happen! :D ). So I had my Asian Fusion salad, which is 280 calories. So I've just cut out 320 calories. I'm NOT saying we should count calories!! What I'm saying is that some foods fill us up for fewer calories, and (in theory) your body will ask for those when it needs them. You've just gotta be really careful you're giving your BODY what it asks for, not your MOUTH, and stop when you're full.

Also, can you pinpoint why you lost weight on SB? Were you eating less? Were you hungry a lot (meaning you were definitely getting fewer calories)? Was it the fact that your body is sensitive to carbohydrates, and cutting back on them made it easier for your body to maintain hormone/insulin/blood sugar levels? I wrote about this a little bit before...listening to your body means listening to more than "tummy full now" signals. Maybe your body is trying really hard to tell you that it can't cope well with lots of carbs, and as much as your mouth likes the taste, your body can't deal with them. How do you feel now, after you eat? Did you feel better when you were limiting carbs? That's your body sending you a message. :)

Alright, this is getting long. I'm really really not an authority of any kind, I'm just reading the book, pulling together previous experiences, and thinking a lot about this. If you think I'm blowing smoke feel free to tell me to hush. ;)