HI folks,

welcome to join our discussion girlythin. CBT BDS I agree that there a sense of realness to the book versus the hype of many others-Core changes take a long time. Glad for both the book and this link.

Karina-Congradulation on being a PHD. that is terrific.

Liannie-hope your 12 hr shifts were not too bad-I have worked a 10 hr as a staffer in hospital- never 12 hrs.

thanks for the support as I go through this periodic temper tandrum about changing my eating habits. I can not decide if outside events make me crabby and self induglent or if may be the withdrawal from food addiction itself makes me crabby and discontent following a food plan. When I go through this angry, short temper period all I want to do is to use food to calm and reward. Like learning to being hunger, I am slowly learning that I can be crabby and not eat. I really am embarassed how irksome I feel the smallest problem can be. The whole things feels very childish, yet controlling of me for a couple of days. I now have finally stared to feel a much greater sense of internal calm. I know that steps in books will now be easier. even just reading the card on why I want to lose weight did helped with "mindless eating" Eating some of the old standard sized portions of treats of last year seems way too much and over indulgent.

I am still working on my schedule -my biggest problem is staying up too late at night. I love being alone and getting on the internet. -but makes for a groggy morning and not doing some meditation and getting swimming done timely.

good changes to all
sue

Welcome, girlythin!

2 sections/chapters have also been very important for me: I think the sections on recognizing hunger are key. when I want to eat something, I now stop and think, am I hungry or just wanting to eat? How hungry am I, really? Sometimes I really want just a little something at night, like last night, and I'm just sure I can't make it all evening. I'll say: my hunger is only about a 2-3 now, I'll wait an hour and see what happens. Usually, I don't end up eating. It's part of being aware of what I'm doing and what I truly need vs. want. I've also learned that being hungry isn't that big of a deal, and hunger passes quickly if you don't give in.

I also like one of the intro chapters that talks about fairness. when I see people eating things that I want to eat, like at a party, I feel like it's unfair and I want to eat it, too. Dr. Beck mentions that thin people do restrict their eating, I'm just not seeing them do it.

One other thing you could start on is not eating standing up. For me this is key...no more samples at Sam's Club, no more bites of my daughter's snacks/meals, etc. We easily forget to factor those little bites into our diets, and yet they can have big calorie counts!

Welcome girlythin and CBT!

It's great to have new friends here. The more energy we create for this task, the better for all of us.

As for suggestions on what to do while waiting for the book (I continued to eat like a trucker so don't follow my example!), I really like the one about eating sitting down. That is huge. The mindless munching gets us every time.

Also, I think if you start getting 8 glasses of water a daily and 5 daily servings of fruits and vegetables, then you will have a body that is fully hydrated and with enough fiber to be hungry on a reasonable basis. Once you've done that, you can start to watch for what are your true signals of hunger (not mistaken signals that really mean thirst or lack of intestinal fullness). If you rate your actual physical hunger on a scale of 0-10 when you find yourself wanting to eat, you might start to notice the difference between real "hungry-because-my-body-needs-food-to-live" or "hungry-because-my-mind-wants-fuel-for-its-addiction." That's my battle anyway.

But more from me later....I'm running out the door. Errands then work. I overslept!

L

Hello,

This is my first time posting here. I bought the Beck Diet Solution book two days ago! Stumbled upon it at Borders!! Since then, I have been looking for a message board to discuss it. I am thrilled about this book because I believe I have gained several pounds over the last two years due to emotional eating. Yes, I know how to lose weight, but I turn to food when I'm angry, offended, depressed, and bored. That is why I was so excited to find this book!!

....for the warm welcome and for the suggestions to get me started.

I actually decided I couldn't wait for Amazon, so I went and bought it. The copies at my library were already reserved. (I'm rationalizing spending the $ in case you didn't catch that)

So far, wow. I'm starting to feel hopeful that this might be my answer, at long last. I have honestly felt at many, many times that losing was hopeless, so it feels great to have a glimmer of hope.

And I think the tools are great lifeskills to have.

And to think that, as said on page 13, that I
..can control my eating if I plan in advance and practice...

That will be a miracle.

Blessings,
girliethin...

Welcome Ava, and Good Saturday to you Girliethin!

Girlie, I also bought 2 copies of the book, one for me and one for my best friend. Maybe you can give the Amazon copy to a diet buddy when it comes. It's nice to have someone to do the steps along with you. This group gets a little quiet sometimes.

Ava, isn't it funny how we all seem to know "how to lose" weight? How we can summon up enough gumption to deprive ourselves for some specified period of weeks or months, only to gradually plump back up when we slide back into our old ways? That's why the book and this group are SO essential.

And, as the book says, getting over the "its not fair" mentality about "having to plan in advance and practice" when others can just go ambling along through life eating intuitively and be naturally thin--that's essential too. That is what I need to really get my mind around this time: the fact that I will need to be a mindful eater who plans and logs and counts calories the majority of days for the rest of my natural life. The fact that I can never go for an extended period eating whatever suits me because I'm just not made like that. That's not me. So "OH WELL", like the book says. I'm gonna live with it.

I'm really glad I found my way back to the South Beach way of eating again though too because I am a raging carb-aholic with uncontrollable cravings for more and more and more if I eat processed carbs. I hope you ladies find the key for yourselves too because that makes it so much easier.

Are you both starting on Day 1 now? Stop back by and post your reasons. It will help us all to restate them every now and then.

L

Hi Liannie,

I did days 1-3. I so get the raging carb thing. One great thing about having tried and failed many times is that I know what diets work best for my body. I had grown to believe that there is no one diet for everyone, too, so I was impressed when Dr. Beck also stated this. Never thought I'd hear a health practitioner say that! It's refreshing.

My advantages are long, but I ranked them, so if anyone gets bored, the most important are first.

1. It will feel great to be focused on my goal and achieving it. (I originally wrote this that I'll be out of the **** of the "I want to be thin/diet---eat/eat/eat---Oh, I don't want to be fat---eat/eat/eat" and of never being able to get off this track.)
2. I'll feel more in control.
3. I'll be in better health.
4. My body will feel better (I have wheat sensitivity, yet I still eat wheat b/c of my lack of willpower--this means really bad symptoms that I ignore b/c I want to eat what I want to eat)
5. I can live into my older years healthfully.
6. I'll have more energy for a fuller life.
7. I'll look better/prettier.
8. I'll feel powerful, competent, and proud of me.
9. I'll live longer.
10.I will feel comfortable in a sexual relationship.
11.I'll feel so proud to be in 8s or even 10s.
12.I'll look a lot younger.
13. I'll be able to focus on other goals.
14.I'll have more confidence.
15. I'll save A LOT of $.
16. I'll be able to bend down, twist, sit down, and move better.
17. I'll do more things, like go to the beach, wear a bathing suit, and jacuzzi at hotels.
18. I'll look great in my clothes.
19. I'll be happier when I look in the mirror.
20. I'll be more attractive to others.

Hi everyone,

Good to read your list of reasons,. I like the wording of the first one of feeling the success of focusing and achieving a goal. It is very postive versus beating myself up for past mistakes. I will get re-motivated-I am on a self created plateau. Last week I was fighting very strong emotional needs to over eat, now have just finished a very fun, over indulgent 4 day visit with friends. I am amazed how some times friends can kind of like be food pushers by bring "low" calorie candies and baked goods. Like most of us any processed carb is may be the one for me to start the next binge. The good new is that I did not gain, but really want to get losing again since I want to achieve a 150 lb total loss. Like you said Liannie, I don't want to return to the pattern of losing that gumption and put the 40 lbs loss back on. so it is back to the book and repeating the beginning chapters and doing the exercises and recording my food.

success to all
sue

Hi everyone,
Sorry I was MIA this weekend, just got busy and avoided the computer (I have to do all these revisions to my dissertation--yuck). Anyway, welcome Ava, and that's great news about your weightloss, CBT BDS! Don't get discouraged when your weight loss starts to slow down, as it probably will soon. that is the issue I'm dealing with right now.

Sue, I know how hard it is to turn stuff down when you have friends around and just want to have a good time. I think it's wonderful that you didn't gain any, and now you can go back to losing!

I didn't have a great weekend diet-wise (friends threw me a party for passing my defense, along with a cake--I had a piece but scraped the icing off). I was scared to weigh this morning, but my official weekly weigh-in isn't until Wednesday anyway. I am committed to refocusing this week. I planned my meals out for the week last night, and I already got my exercise in for the day this morning. I finally found out the date of my 10-year high school reunion...September 29. So, even though I'm trying to focus on every 5 lbs, I definitely have that in the back of my mind. In any other situation, I'd be fine with losing 5 lbs a month or even more slowly, but I really want to kick it in gear and lose closer to 10lbs a month over the next 3 months. That is on the high end of what you are supposed to lose on a diet (1-2 lbs a week), so what do you all think? Is this an okay goal?

Good Morning Everyone!

I'm rushing around and will post more later but I wanted to say hello to all and to acknowledge your posts. I kinda fell off the wagon yesterday but I'm back on today. I've been working so much, I haven't done the Beck exercises faithfully so this is a week of renewing all good new habits.

My new weigh-in day is Sunday, and I lost another lb. Six pounds since June 1. Not bad!

Happy Monday,
L

Hi everybody,

Finished the day of sitting down while eating. I was thinking this will be SOOOO easy, and I NEVER eat while standing up, but munched twice while preparing food unconsciously (OK, just celery one of the times, but still) and then I realized that for me, eating in the car is going to go in the same category. I'm sitting, but I'm not focused on my food and having it spread in front of me. It might as well be the same mindless eating as standing up. So it wasn't as easy as I thought.

I also am finding that I'm trying to do more than the book, but I'm not achieving the other goals that I set, so think I"m just going to follow the book as is. Except for I'm still feeling like I want to start "the diet" earlier than 2 weeks. I finally decided on my two diets which feels like a load off.

Karina--for what my opinion is worth as a newbie here, 2.5 pounds per week seems like a lot to me. I know it would be possible, but are you going to be cutting your meals so much that you slow your metabolism, or so that you do it for a while but then binge b/c you cut your food so much? You know how fast you lose, so maybe it's not unreasonable...

You were saying going from 5 pounds a month as your vision to 10 pounds a month. How about the high end of "normal" and shooting for the 8? How would that feel as a goal, and then if you do the 10, then even better? That would be roughly 25 pounds, and would put you in the 150s....with exercise you'd look even thinner.

So I'm just realizing you got your PhD and you're only coming up on 28? Da*n! That is awesome. I didn't even start my Master's till 32. Good on ya!

Hi everyone, I just want to reiterate to everyone to please do the Beck Solution step by step, day by day, slowly and patiently as outlined in the book. That is a part of CBT as well.

When we SLOW DOWN a process, we are retraining our brain, and our responses. So we need to break down each tiny step, and practice it, and this "rewires" parts of our brain.

If we just blastover everything, then the internal changes are not going to occur.

So again, don't do what I am doing! The one thing helping me is that I am very familiar with some of the CBT stuff. BUT, I am going to go back and carefully, REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT each problem step.

So if you can, just be patient, and take the long view. Isolate each day, each process, and just work on that, and move onto the next one the next day. Over weeks and months changes will start to occur.

We are dealing with longterm Cognitive, Emotive, and Behavioral change. This takes persistence, stretching over a long period of time.
So just like when you learn how to do a CBT Thought Record from a terrific CBT book like "Mind Over Mood", you isolate and practice each step until you get it down pat. If we just gloss over areas, it does not work properly.

I hate to be a hypocrite, but I do have my own Rationalizations!
:-)
But seriously, I am going to go back, and do each step, carefully, over and over, for the rest of 2007. Its not that hard, maybe 15 minutes a day of total Beck Solution work once I get through it. Even if it was more 30 minutes a day for the rest of 2007, its more than worth it.
The only excuse that has anything to it, is that "it takes too much time". Well, that is erronenous as well. As I lose weight, I get much more energy, so I am far more productive, and even sleep a bit less naturally.
Also, if I can take 2007 to get my weight back on track, and then keep it there with the Beck Checklist for years to come, then I will likely add some great years to my life.
http://www.beckdietsolution.com/libr...to-do_list.pdf

So there is literally no excuse to not following this program each day, for just 15-30 min a day, for the rest of 2007. In 2008 I will re-evaluate.

girlythin, I wasn't planning on trying to lose more than 2 lbs per week, which I guess averages to about 9lbs a month, give or take a little. While I'd love to lose 30lbs, hey, right now I'd be thrilled with 20! We'll see what happens. More importantly, I don't want any weight to come back on this time. I don't think it will, though; my other weight loss attempts were too crazy to maintain!

Thanks for your thoughts on it! By the way, I also was so surprised at how much I was eating standing up--who knew? I definitely think this plan is helping teach us to be more conscious of our choices.

hi guys,

really enjoy everyone postings. CBT BDA- I ordered you book suggestion thur out local library. Sound great as moods and over eating are inter-connected for me.

Karina don't have any adivice about the rate of loss. Everyone body is so different, but even my own body will lose a lot then plateau for awhile and then out of the blue i'll lose more. I have done that posting on fitday where they say how many calories you need to mainitain your current weight and exercise level, then deduct how many calories should give me my loss per week. I never found a close correlation between the intake calories, the deficit and the rate of loss. I really understand desire for speed. I just lost a job due to my obesity. Work I would like to do and have done well in the past, but the impression by everyone is that they would like someone who is "thinner". (even through there is no medical insurance with the position.)

girlythin-what 2 diets are you looking at-if you don't mind saying. I am only doing calories counting- tried so many others and like the flexability of counting calories for occasional days I eat "treats". Still really like your first reason to lose weight about feel sucsessful being working toward a goal. Some of my "wants" are soo far in the future. That goal helps me feel successful even if I have 150lb left to lose.

Liannie- yeah!!! on your six pound loss -you were concern about some tough evening outs. Good for you.

What have you guys done about getting coaches? I have a hard time with finding someone who wants to do this- Some would love to show me how to do it, because only the weak and undiscipline are that overweight. Other are over weight and are not ready to help me lose weight. Others are soo busy with work and family. My current one does not feel comfortable with the whole thing. She is trying but really at a loss.

thanks for reading and writing
sue

Liannie, good for you losing a pound even though your exercise fell through! Think how much more you will be able to accomplish with regular exercise!

Sue, you are right, I don't know how I'll lose. There has only been one time I have lost all the weight I wanted to, and it basically involved eating 800 cals and running 3 miles every day. I looked great, but it didn't last long, as you can imagine! At that rate, I was losing 20lbs a month for a few months. There have been a few other times in my life where I've dropped about 20lbs in a month, but it has always quickly come back on. I hate that you lost a job based on your size! I guess that is one thing the EEOC doesn't cover. Is it a job you want to do again once you lose more weight? I hope you don't let the amount you have left to lose discourage you. Maybe it would be helpful for you to view weight loss as I viewed grad school. I was looking at 5 plus years as a grad student, which I wasn't overly thrilled about. I decided that in 5 years, I was going to be 28 anyway, so why not be 28 with a good degree and a better paying job than I could have worked up to in 5 years? Sue, it may take you 2 years to lose that weight, but you are going to be 2 years older either way. I know you can do it--you've already done so well, it's amazing!

As far as coaches are concerned, I haven't had the best luck either. I wish my DH could do it, but he doesn't feel it's a big deal to splurge every once in a while (for example, he said the other night that we need a fry daddy--yeah, like I need a hole in the head!). My mother is the best person because she cares a lot and has a lot of helpful suggestions without being condescending, but she has never weighed over 125 at her highest, so I feel like she doesn't understand how challenging it can be at times. My sister has had (has?) an eating disorder and would love nothing more than to talk about dieting for hours on end, but I don't think its good for her. I think I treat you all in this group as my every day diet coaches, although I give my mom weekly updates. So, I am no help as far as finding a good coach goes!

Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I did probably the best ever yesterday, and today is going well so far, too. I hope these 2 days more than make up for some of my poor choices last weekend. We'll see, though...