Good Luck! It's a time-management trick (for me) to work full-time, do grad-school (thankfully it's online) and go to the gym 3 times a week, but remember your health, good feelings and energy are just as important to finishing school work and work-work as they are to your self-image & weight loss endeavor - so never give it up! It gets tough - I know! It feels like I spend most of my time doing one of the three, but it's definitely worth it.
Lafayette - way to go! I finished my Masters degree at 41 and was so thrilled to be done with school. It took me from 18 to 41 to get my Associates, Bachelors and Masters, but it still happened. You can do it too.
Thanks! I just talked to my professor and I have quite a bit of work ahead of me but he even tossed out the possibility of a recommendation letter for grad school. He is not making it easy but he is making it possible and that's a huge relief. Still no word on the dreaded math requirement, though. There are two classes I have applied to have waived. One would not be a big deal but statistics may well be my nemesis! It would mean having to wait until next fall to graduate. Yuck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
I had really mixed feelings about being back on campus. On the one hand, I'm getting it done and on the other, I'm beating myself up for not having it done in the first place.
I have been staying with my parents the past couple of days so that I can just run over to the university instead of driving all the way from Milwaukee and, man, I can see why I was losing my mind when I was living here and going to school. I was working a full time job, two part time jobs and having to do housework and referee all the drama... the fact that it is still essentially the same is a good lesson that I have no impact or influence on the outcome here on the homefront. My brother is still, almost ten years later, sitting in front of the TV while I can't even get my coat off without having a "To Do Right Now" list thrust in my hand and the "Why isn't it done yet?" question tossed at me. The past few days have been high anxiety ****. It's not so much the snide little belittling comments and my automatic servitude as the fact that they are just out-of-control lazy. Never wonder why I live alone!!!
I understand. I've had similar problems "saying no" when people ask me to do stuff, at the sacrifice of my own time & sanity. If there's anything I learned when losing my weight before, it was that it's OK to say no. No to 2nds no to people who want to take up your work-out time, No to family, No to friends... I expected the world to come crashing down because I took a stand, but really - it didn't. People were a little taken aback initially, but then they said, "Oh... Ok." And it was all cool after that... and I finally had some time for ME!
As for kicking yourself about not finishing school earlier - don't. You're doing it now, right? I kicked myself for not completing it earlier, but I'm 30 and have been in school continuously since I was 3 years old. I look at my 27 yr old boyfriend and wonder why he could be done with everything (including grad school) by the time he was 22, and the answer is... he lives his life, and I live mine. We've had different circumstances, different attitudes about school, different goals and objectives in life, etc. You can't be someone else - you can only live your own life, which includes choices about what to do (if anything) about "to-do" lists thrust into your hands.
To-do or not to-do; that is the question - I know all about going home and wondering "Who are these people and how the heck am I related to them?" but they are your family, and are obligated to love you whether you do the housework for them or not. I refuse to pick up my family's messes (clutter or otherwise) and it's been empowering to do so, not to mention has eased my mind considerably to learn to accept the fact that it's not something I can (or need to) control.
My brother and sister seem to resent the "abandonment" somewhat, since I'm the oldest, and oh btw - I "abandoned" them when I left for college too. But you know what? I had to grow up - it's time for them to do so too. My parents and grandparents, on the other hand, are proud of me and glad that I've finally learned to make my own (good) choices, take control of my life, my education, my work, and my weight, and tell me they no longer "worry" about me "making it on my own".
So, I guess what the common theme here is, "Live your own life, and feel free to say no" in words or actions. If a to-do list is shoved in your hands, place it on the end-table or refrigerator (for the household to see/do) and leave it there. They'll get the hint. Don't be their scapegoat. Stand up to them, and a lot of the belittling comments, chores, etc. will disappear, because they'll finally start to respect you, even if they don't like the fact that they'll have to start doing the housework without you.
Thanks, Janis! I could be staying here another day to "help out" and I know they are just waiting for me to say that I will- I have been trained to point where they don't even need to ask- but I have to go home. I have my own things to do there and I need to get out of the cigarette smoke and drama! Plus, I have a wonderful, supportive and very hot boyfriend who needs to be rewarded for not being like this! "Rewarded", you ask? That's right. That's what this college chick is calling it these days!
I came home last night and vowed that I will not be going back home any time soon!
This morning, I called an organization I had applied at when I applied for my last job. They still have the position open and I will be faxing my resume and cover letter to them tomorrow. Yay! They called me for an interview and I had already taken my last job. Woo hoo! This was the one I really wanted... things are looking up! I'm taking my best suit (read: the one that still fits) to the dry cleaners today so that I can wow them with my professional appearance!
I managed to update my resume- I noticed a typo this morning!- and pull out a press release I had written. I have to send over one of my articles today. You'd think I could find this stuff without tearing apart my house LOL! Now, I have to spend part of today cleaning it!
Girls, I looked great yesterday! I even got compliments on my outfit. I had a tan casual suit and a light green button-down shirt, black high-heeled boots, a sharp black bag, my oversized Jackie O sunglasses and a gold necklace with a sea turtle pendant- this is the most dressed up I have been in a long time! My hair even magically behaved itself. I wore makeup for the first time in weeks... my old job was beating me up more than I thought. I felt every inch the intelligent, sophisticated woman I am! What a boost! Eat your heart out, What Not to Wear!!! The only thing I would have changed is (my weight, obviously) I would have worn brown boots with a brown bag. No brown boots in my closet, though... it restarted my diet right then and there because I have a closet full of size 6 suits that make me feel that way!
I'm off to re-enroll at the university!
