Joke for the Day
 

A friend shared this with me and I thought it was so funny, I had to share it with you to bring a laugh to your morning. I can just see some men saying things like this! My husband made a slip about a week ago and told me to get my fat *&^ off the sofa and check something -- now he tells me to get my skinny @#$ up -- he learned really, really quickly!!!


THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from the shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

"How long will this take?", I asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years", my husband replied.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts bigger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.

Stupid, stupid man.

ROFLMAO!!! OMG! That is freaking hysterical!

:rofl:

Here's a retaliation:

A man and woman were outside gardening and the woman was bent over in her garden and her husband looked at her derriere and said "honey, you really are getting a big caboose on you". She ignored him and continued to garden. He said again, "gee, you are huge - I think you are about as big as this grill - let me measure the grill and then measure your butt"!! The wife was really irritated but managed to keep her mouth shut.

Later that evening, DH wanted a little action so he said "hey honey, how about it?" The wife responded "why should I fire up this big grill for a such a little wiener?" :D :lol3: :carrot:

Touche!

I love it!

LMAO!!!!!! good one!

Good one although I have to admit, I would have just killed him and skipped the punchline!!!