Well over the 4 years I have done various things to maitain good health.
For a while I was a member of shape.com. I followed the diet and exercise plan for a couple months and was feeling great, then just gave up.
Also when I was younger I used to swim regularly and also just stopped.
The detox I recently finished was a 7 stage detox that I did for 28 days. (4 days for each step) It started off with fasting, then you add fresh fruit, then vegetables, then cooked veggies and rice, and so on. You are basically adding things back into your diet slowly. At the end you are eating fish, whole grains (not wheat), beans, nuts, lentils, yogurt. Then you are meant to slowly add things like cheese, wheat and other meats back in. The problem with me was as sson as I finished the last step I full out gorged on whatever it was I had been missing, and havn't stopped since then. I know I've lost some weight as my clothes are bigger now. But once again I fear its just going to come back and I really want this to stop.
I was reading some of the other areas on this board and think I may have pin pointed my problem. I believe I am a binger. I am very ashamed of the way I eat when I do things like this, and I also try to hide it. I wait untill my boyfriend has gone out and try to eat as much as I can while he is gone. I always eat random things, little bits of this and that, so he won't notice that alot of something is missing. And when I'm at work too, I will leave for my lunch sometimes if I have money and go somewhere by myself where I can just pig out.
I don't necessarily enjoy the things I am eating, but I still can't stop myself. I will be telling myslef in my head that this is ridiculous while I'm doing the eating, but I just don't stop. I usually feel physically sick after and disgusted with myself. The other day I tried making myself throw up for the first time, which I know is wrong.
Whew this is getting longer than I intended, but it feels good to be telling someone.
|