I have always been overweight and I have accepted that my whole life. But, now I've reached an all time low in my life. (or should I say an all time high?) I am 265 lbs and have NEVER weighed this much. I think the constant weight gain comes from people telling me "no, there's no way you weigh that much. You just carry it well" After taking a good hard look at myself in the mirror... well, it didn't really take THAT long, I saw my true self..... F A T. I am at the end of my rope and i need help. I have tried all kinds of diets but to no avail. My job makes it really hard. I work in a dispatch center for a Sheriff's Department and I sit ALL DAY LONG. 911 never stops so I only get to get up to go to the restroom, sometimes! I work 10 hour days so we eat all day long. Breakfast,snack,lunch,dessert,snack and then home for dinner. My entire day is stress and food, then I finally get to sleep. H E L P. Where can I start? I've been thinking of calling my insurance company to see if they will cover gastric bypass but I want the satisfaction of knowing that i lost weight on my own, thru blood, sweat and tears. I just need a push in the right direction

I understand how you feel about reaching the limit. What's great about this site is you can find tons of groups to keep you accountable. If you liked the biggest loser, there is a group of us doing Jillian's program. Look under "the biggest loser" for Jillian's girls. It's a good group. I especially understand your issues with your job. I'm an ER nurse so I very rarely get breaks, which leads to overeating when I get home. I've dealt with that by keeping fruit/energy bars/water bottles in the bag I keep at the nurse's station. That way even if I can't take a break I can keep hydrated and keep from that "I could eat anything I'm so hungry" feeling. Good luck and congratulations for taking the first step!

Thank you happydaisy for your reply, I feel like sometimes i just need a few kind words. About a year ago I lost 25 lbs. I felt great and I felt like I looked good. One day I got dressed up in my best casual clothes and fixed my hair and makeup and went to visit all my "friends" and the daycare I used to work at. NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS. Why was I trying so hard to lose weight if not one single "friend" noticed. Was it all in my head that I looked better than before? Well, needless to say, I went home and cried and ate. I've gained 55 pounds since that day last year. It really makes me mad that I let those people have so much control over my life. Now I feel like I'm too fat to do anything about it. I did some weight calculators on the internet last night and I am considered MORBIDLY OBESE. I'm 5'7" and 255 lbs. WHY? Why do I have to fight this fight? It's just depressing. Sorry for the gripes but when I say something to my husband, he only says "well do something about it" WHY DIDN"T I THINK OF THAT?! I have two daughters, the oldest is 12 and she is 240 lbs and 5'8". the youngest is 140 lbs and about 5'6". I have passed the bad habits on to my daughters. How horrible am I?

You should NOT let other people get you down like that! Whether or not they said anything about your weight loss doesn't matter. What matters is how you see yourself. For what it is worth, people didn't start saying anything about my weight loss until I had lost about 80 lbs. But keep at it and you will have lost lots more than 25 lbs!
Also, maybe you can get your daughters in on your diet/weight loss journey. My heart goes out to your 12 yr old. I weighed 217 at age 12 and it sucked. Also, then you could have a built in weight loss buddy at home! You two could support each other.

Thanks shrinkingchica for your words of encourgement. I know that i shouldn't let people get the best of me but I think that comes from years of being over weight. Or maybe thats just an excuse?! Well, I'm doing good today on my eating. Just toast with Jalapeno jelly for b-fast. It's just my attitude that I need to work on I guess. And the holidays really do NOT help matters. Thanx again.

Binge eating. The story of my life!

I am so sorry you feel so bad about yourself. I know how you feel. But you have to remember you are doing it for you and no one else. Weightloss is 50% mental and 50% physical. You sound very depressed which is the devil to all of us losing weight. I am an extreme emotional eater and this past week has been my trial by fire. I passed. I have been trying really hard for 1 month and I am 9 pounds lighter!!!!!!!

Have you tried excersizing, I know it helps my mood and attitude. Just 30 minutes a day can make a huge difference. But only you can get your butt off the couch. Don't give into pressure just to sit there because you think you may look funny and get you daughter involved as well. Her self esteem must be in the toilet as well. It is such an emotional time for a young girl and to be overweight (I know, I was) is horrible. I was always the funny, fat one.

Weightloss and lifestyle change are a family project in my house. I buy the food so dear husband eats what I eat or gets it himself. At first I did not let my husband see me work out but now, I just don't care. He actually is kind of turned on by it now (jiggly parts and all).

It is great to hold yourself accountable to folks on the board but the first person you are to hold yourself accountable to is You. I know I am the only one who has noticed my 9 pound loss but I figure one day out of the blue.....

I don't mean to sound so harsh but this is a place for support and help not a place to have your excuses justified.

If your girls are around 12 are you in your 30s. If so join us on the 30 Somethings needing to lose 30 something + emphasis on the plus. I have about 45 to go. No judging, help, support, encouragement and a good kick in the pants when needed.

Amanda

I started out at a very similar weight/height to you. I'm about 5' 8" tall and got up to 265 pounds. I lost about 40-50 lbs before I started receiving any kind of comments from people about my weightloss. Partially I think that's because of my height, but also because people feel nervous to compliment you. They don't want to bring up your weight, it's an uncomfortable subject for many people. Only when the change becomes really overwhelming do people feel like they can say something. At least this has been my experience.

That said.... Please don't take this badly, but were you really losing weight for other people?? The only person to lose weight for is yourself. It's your body & your health. You're the one who has to live inside it every day. You can't rely on other people for motivation, it has to come from inside.

Now this is just crazy talk. You've lost weight before and you can do it again. Don't give up on yourself, okay?

Hi Adrod,

I read your postings and I hear your anguish....

First, you ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON, you are human and just make some judgement errors about diet, exercise, lifestyle.

May I make some suggestions that you might consider?

Your husband is right...and you now WANT to do something to feel better both physically and mentally...

You don't NEED anyone else's approval to look good, you can be your own cheering section and your own best friend. Do it for YOURSELF.

Sounds like your job is extremely stressful and you eat to compensate. Start keeping a food log of everything you put in your mouth (it will make you think twice after you see what you are eating).

Keep a mental note of how you felt when you hit realization and draw strength and determination from it.

small steps will lead up to big changes....and support is always here, find a group(s) to have daily chats, a buddy and post your accomplishments, no matter how trivial....we want to know and someone will always answer you.

(and I bet you can find 5 things you think are great about yourself)....you CAN do whatever you set out to accomplish...

good luck and I hope to post to you again soon!

I want to thank everyone for the support. And yes, depression is a very real part of my life. I get better and the I spiral out of control again. Kind of like my weight loss. I don't lose weight for other people but the truth in life is that I don't live here alone, and EVERYONE, in some small way, cares about what other people say or think. I just let it get the better of me. I consider myself an intelligent 31 year old woman. I pride myself in the things that I've been privileged to learn in this life. How to achieve long term weight loss is just a privilege that has evaded me. I hope to change that with the help of people like all of you. It brings tears to my eyes to know that kind words from strangers can affect me in such a big way. God bless Y'all.

Well, I have to go to work. So much for a day off. I will check back in after 5:00. I am sooooo excited that I finally have people to talk to. BYE!

See that? you've jumped in the deep end of the pool and you are a strong swimmer....Congrats!

I've been posting/lurking on this board for a l-o-n-g time on/off (1999?).....I came back last year after some adverse events that developed into major depression. Posting here is a great help.

Here's a link to the Biggest Loser forum

There are threads for those who are doing the workout and nutrition plan from Jillian micheal's book Winning by Losing as well as general chat about the show and questions for Jillian herself - she posts when she can.

Welcome adrod_72...