Desperate but determined…

  • I was 242 coming out of high school, then the year after I went up to 260. I dropped out of college and after about a year of not liking myself I went to massage school. During Massage I dropped about 35lbs and for the next year I continued to lose weight. My lowest was 192. Of course I didn’t realize how good I looked, still thought I was fat. Started traveling 3 hours to see my boyfriend on my off days, Started eating more at work and gained back 25 lbs (217) I became engaged and moved in with my fiancé and blew up. It’s been about 4/5 months since I moved in and I know I’m back to 240. (Scared to step on the scale) I can’t stop eating. I know my fiancé is sad about it and wishes I was thin again. Sadly I’ve just started to notice it. I’m completely let myself go. I sleep, eat, and lay around all day. My face has broken out (using proactive now, seems to be working), my fat clothes don’t even fit, my nails are unpolished even unfilled, my tan is gone, and I have no drive to put makeup on anymore.

    Well this month he is gone, I am going to lose weight and get into shape. At least get started. I think I am going to do the natural mostly raw route. I don’t know what this forum is going to do for me but I needed a place to promise and reaffirm my goal. Thanks!

    Oh yeah, I’m 23 now and 5’11 just in case you were wondering.
  • Hi there!

    Your story sounds just like mine. I am in the same position. I was once 315, then went down to 190 and now I have gained to my current. I have lost some, but I stall. I'm 27 btw and would love to buddy up with you. We can do this! We have to remember that we were there once before and we can be at lower weights yet again.
  • Do you know how you gained the weight? I mean obviously ate too much but did you see it coming? I didn't it's like last week I was 192 and boom now I'm at 240. I never thought I was skinny/normal but looking back on pics of when I was about 200 I was shocked at how small I looked. Even though that's not where I want to stay at, I would LOVE to be there again!
  • No, it seemed like it just crept on me so fast. When I met my hubby I was wearing an 18/20 and that was in November. Just that summer before I was wearing very loose 14/16's. I think that most of my weight gain was due to the fact that I had been going on the deep end of dieting. I would eat a cucumber all day or something ridiculous. Then exercise for 3 hours. After awhile I got tired of it and I guess just started eating all the junk that I hadn't allowed for months. Which for a week or so, would have been ok, but I couldn't get control on it and I quit exercising. So, I gained. I get really frustrated with myself when I think about it. Now, I am trying not to live in the past. Yeah, being thinner then was wonderful, but I CAN do it again. Sure, it may take me a lot longer this time, but maybe I've actually learned something from this journey this time.
  • Hey, If you'd like an email buddy I'm up for it....I also seem to lose my drive for doing things.....I've also had my face breaking out for the past year (since my bf moved in with me-guess it's extra stress) and have been using proactiv, it works but not as well as i would like it too....i'm gong to the dermatologist at the end of the month.

    I guess I'm just looking for quick results, and get discouraged when it doesn't happen.
  • DaisyLily, I also live in FL. I'm much older than you though (40) My daughter and I started Weight Watchers last April. I was lifetime by August my daughter just reached her lifetime goal in January. I started this for her, she is 13 and was 180lbs. Listening to your story reminded me of my own, I hated school, didn't go to the prom or anything. I didn't want her to go through that. Weight Watchers is a great program. People say its expensive, but $11.00 a week is like one meal out! And think of the good it does you. I thought I was eating good till I went and learned what REAL portion sizes are and what kind of foods to eat. You are worth it do it for yourself!!
    Good luck and if youever want to chat, just email.
    Cyndie