[mellbell491]

Hi everyone my name is melanie i'm 20 years old and I'm a waitress and student. I was interested in this site because I was reading on how everyone interacts with each other. Well let me get to the point I'm a huge worry wart about weight. I'm 5'2 and weigh about 120lbs I was at 140 about a year and a half ago, and still wondering where it went? and how?! but at the sametime Im still not happy with myself and it's tearing my boyfriend and I of 2 years apart let alone my family! I was diagnosed with depressing about three years ago and I have a very low self esteem! I wonder sometimes if I do have an eating disorder because I've noticed myself feeling guilty with things I eat if anything at times! I try to see how long I can go without eating. And there's been days when I've just totally took a plunge and ate like crazy then i will only eat one small meal let alone possibly nothing the next day! I don't know what to do anymore, my goal weight is like 110lbs and I keep bouncing from 115-120 and I get frustrated, I've tried so many diet pills and I would work out alot. Now i'm to the point of wondering "what's gonna work for me" I don't know I'm upset and falling back into a depression stage, I just need someone who understands because I really can't speak of my situation with anyone else...thanks again hope to hear from ya'll soon!

[Jennifer 3FC]

Hi there, you might want to post on the Eating Disorder Forum.

Holding off on meals can destroy your metabolism and make it harder for you to lose weight. I would definitely seek counseling or support if your weight is causing trouble in your relationship. Your relationship is worth it! You need to learn to love your body and be happy with who you are, even if you do want to lose a few pounds. I used to hate my body. I'm still overweight, but I'm comfortable in my shell now, and that has made all the difference in my general day to day happiness. I still want to lose weight, but I don't hate the process anymore. It's not an overnight thing, but you will get there. Please do explore this further, this doesn't sound like something you want to compound!

[tiredoffat]

I agree counseling is the way to go. Therapists can help you to make wonderful changes in your life. Good luck. I'd go to your University counseling center to begin with. They can refer you. Most health plans will pay part of the cost.