I really need help, I am failing at everything I attempt so quickly that it's almost frightening. I came to this website a few weeks ago and was all set to kick this into high gear. Well I went a week doing really well, counting my calories, everything - even measuring an actual tablespoon of peanut butter out for my sandwiches. I gained weight and about had a break down.

Well I tried again, and didn't even bother weighing in. Just tried to stick with it. I don't know if I made any difference because a week into it, I got sick, and every notion of eating well was gone. Exercise too. I couldn't even lift my eyelids, let alone a set of weights. Finally got over being sick, and once more, hoping for the best... though I didn't even get started. The cat had to be put down and well, the whole family stopped acting normal. It's just been.. heh, a bad four years?

Four-five years ago I was working very active jobs, lots of walking and moving about. I also followed weight watches, (loosely) and had dropped 20lbs to get to my ideal weight of 130ish. (I don't think I can be less than that and still be healthy, I am pretty thick boned and athletic.) ((Or used to be anyway))

Well, four years ago I got an office job. Waking up, rushing to work, skipping breakfast (or eating poptarts at work) - then sitting in a chair all day, to fight traffic home and be tired and cranky - I all but stopped moving. My weight has shot up to in insane level, and I am hitting that 'why bother' stage of trying to deal with it.

I had thought about trying the South Beach diet, but am concerned about the initial phases. For one, I can't eat eggs - I get sick off of them. So how can I manage a breakfast with their food limitations.

Weight Watchers worked initially, but I don't feel strong willed enough to pull it off.

Exercise? I have a membership at Bally's which I never use, partly because I hate going alone, and partly because the times I have gone it's so busy, you stand around waiting for machines. Add to that, that it takes a good sized chunk of my already small night away, and it's a jealousy thing. I'd rather be doing what I want to do during those 4 hours to myself, than doing what I HAVE to do.

My current weight is about 185. I'd like to lose 20-30lbs by Oct. since my father is taking me on a cruise. I do like being active, if I can find something to really get into... which is hard.

Some background info: I am 27, and living with family. (Sister and husband) One is diabetic and the other fighting high cholesterol, so we all should be eating healthy. Dinners at home would be reasonable, if I ever chose to eat them. But I usually ruin my day at lunch time and then feel so bad/bloated/full that I skip dinner. I also don't have free range on cooking and food stuff. IE(I cannot stroll into the kitchen and whip something up whenever I want)

I'd like some suggestions on which diet out there might work best for me, and then some encouragement on how to get started and keep going. I really need help with this, I'm starting to hate myself a lot over letting myself get like this.

Hi there! Welcome to the site, I think you will find a lot of support, encouragement, and info here. There are so many comments in your e-mail that I'd like to address, I might be all over the place with this post, so bear with me. First of all, I'm 27 too, and around the same weight as you. 145 is my goal, because I'm pretty muscular and athletic (under the fat!) and am about a size 8 at that weight. I also work a desk job, so I can relate to not getting any physical activity at work, too. Feel free to send me a private msg. if you want to buddy up.

The question I want to ask you is, do you feel you are really ready to commit to a healthy lifestyle and lose weight for good, or are you hoping to lose just for your vacation? I think that might be a good place for you to start. Do you really WANT to do this, or are you just wanting to lose weight because that's what society tells you you should do?

The thing that sticks out most is your comment about HAVING to go to the gym, not WANTING to go. I know all about not having enough free time for myself and being a procrastinator when it comes to the gym. When I do go, though, it's more from a feeling of wanting to go because it makes me feel good and energetic and I know it will get me to my goal a lot faster. If you don't like your gym, look around for somewhere else to go. I hear a lot of women talking about "Curves" which is an all women facility that offers 30 minute workouts. I've heard really good things about them. If a gym just doesn't float your boat, make some lists of activities that you might enjoy, and try to incorporate those a couple of times a week, to start. Raquet ball, walking, martial arts, swimming, take your pick.

As far as food goes, can you spend 1 night a week preparing food, like cook a bunch of chicken breasts, package up some salads for lunch for a few days, etc.? For snacks, you can do nuts, string cheese, fruit, carrots, celery and low sugar/fat dressing, quick, pre-made things you don't have to cook that are healthy for you. I would also suggest making breakfast a habit that you follow every day. It's very important in preventing the splurges at lunch.

I'm following the "Sugar Busters" plan, which for me is definitely more of a doable lifestyle than a diet. I lost 35 lbs on it before, and it's very comfortable and I know it will work for me. There are many other similar "diet" plans out there, so spend an hour or two at your bookstore or library and check them out; see which one "clicks" for you.

Finally, don't hate yourself for not being able to get this to "stick" yet. You only really fail when you quit trying. And berrating yourself will only sink you further into indulgence and self-neglect. You CAN do this, you MUST decide that no matter what, this is your #1 goal. We all have faith in you, you need to have that same faith in yourself.