New and worn out.
I'm Kia. I'm 5'1" and an even 200 lbs this morning. This isn't the most I've weighed (that was almost 220), but my issue is that the things I've been doing aren't working. I was recently 185, but that was after a lot of stress where it was so bad I didn't eat. Now it's just normal stress, I guess (change in job, might be moving, etc.). So I'm up to 200.
The kicker is that I'm up to 200 after TRYING to lose weight. I was trying intuitive eating and was having what seemed to be reasonable portions. I didn't weigh too often (weekly) because I wasn't snacking or stuffing myself full. Yet I gained 15 lbs back in a matter of weeks. This kind of confirms for me that I can't do intuitive eating even of healthy foods - I'm just always hungry. No, I don't have diabetes either (I've been screened for it).
My doctor wants me to be at about 110 lbs. She says that's a good weight for someone of my age/height/build. I agree with her. Most of my family IS that small (or smaller, honestly), so genetically it makes sense, too.
I am also in the process of changing to a vegan diet. Ethically I struggle to justify eating animal products for myself, and since I don't see myself hunting for my own meat or raising chickens or cows, that's my next step. Some of my family is already vegan so that might help. Also, my doctor encourages this because of my family history of heart disease, cancer, and my own burgeoning issues with inflammation.
So, I need to do something that lets me control the amount I eat, since I clearly don't have a natural intuition for it. It needs to be frees, so I was thinking calorie counting.
I also need to probably do volume eating so I can eat a lot because I'm always hungry.
And the big one, I need to get my stress under control. I know for certain I use food to cope and to self-soothe. It's easy, it works fast, and it's enjoyable. Unfortunately other than food or other substances like alcohol (which I don't drink), there's not a fast way to do that.
Which means I need to work on building a foundation of coping at the same time as switching my diet, at the same time as I'm being promoted (which I didn't want) and moving (which I do want, but it's going to be very complicated because of personal relationships).
It just feels like a lot. But I know I can't put off the food thing just because of the other stuff. Life is always going to be complicated, and honestly if I put off the food thing until I find more life balance, I'm going to be another 100 lbs heavier in no time.
So, there's my way too long intro. I'm hoping being here will help with some support and some new information.
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