[MISSxCINA]

Hello everyone!

This is my first post on this forum, or any weight-loss forum for that matter, and I could really use some love!

Here's the background: At age 23, I underwent a major reconstructive surgery on my pelvis. The recovery was long and brutal, taking me several months to be able to walk without crutches or canes and still, at age 29, I have not returned to normal functionality; I can't run, standing for more than an hour is torture, and lifting anything remotely heavy sends shooting pains through my hips and down my legs. I struggle with muscle loss and weight gain, pain, and depression.

For years, even though I didn't do much exercise, I was able to control my weight fairly well by watching my diet. I was living in my home state of California-the land of farmer's markets and year-round outdoor recreation- so it was easy. All of my friends were yoga junkies and marathon runners, and their habits reinforced my good behavior.

Then, I made the decision to go to graduate school....in Pennsylvania. The incredible stress of classes and research was compounded by the difficulty of being 3,000 miles away from all of my friends and family. Being cooped-up in the house for months at a time during the bitter-cold winters didn't help either. Not to mention the fact that the food here is completely different- fruits and veggies here are half the quality and twice the price as produce back home, and pastries, sausage, and gravy-laden pasta dishes are everyday fare. All of this created a perfect storm- and led to my present state- I have gained 45 pounds in 18 months. Yep, you read that right.

I graduate in two months, and my family will all be coming out for the commencement- and I am so ashamed of how I look that I don't want them to see me. Instead of being proud of my accomplishments and eager to celebrate with my loved ones, I am focused on the fact that I've gone up 4 dress sizes. I feel like crap, I look like crap, and I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life- 177 pounds.

After a few weeks of wallowing in self pity, something finally clicked in my head- It's not a life sentence. It's not forever. I don't have to accept this and be this version of myself for life- I can do something about it. While I may not get back to where I was before my family gets here, I can start today and get back there eventually if I work hard and take responsibility for my actions.

That is why I am here: to ask for your help. To ask for your support, and to give you all mine. To make a commitment today to start, and to work hard. I look forward to 'meeting' all of you and lifting you up and cheering you on. Let's kick some pounds!

[bloominbutterflies]

Welcome aboard , you'll start feeling better soon! It seems like people who put on weight quickly also lose it quickly, so hopefully it will be easy to get started for you

[luckystreak]

Welcome! We're not so different. Similar weights and heights. I just have been losing a lot and gaining alot for the past 3 years due to on and off anxiety / a bit of depression. I dont consider myself to be a depressed person but I think this whole being 24 and not knowing what you want in life can really affect someone! I am now in grad school, packed on a bit more weight, caught myself doing so, and nipped it in the bud before it got worse. Time to work this allllll back off!

I believe in us!

[MISSxCINA]

Thanks for the support everyone! I've been tracking my calories for the first time in my entire life and have limited my intake to 1500 calories each day for the last 3 days (since I wrote this post). To be honest, I am finding it extremely difficult. I am a major junk-food-junkie, so I have decided to allow 150 of those calories to be something 'bad' for me every day. Considering that I used to think nothing of drinking 3 pepsis in one sitting, it is a major improvement and I think that 'baby steps' is the way to go for me. No matter how badly I want to break, I am going to keep it up at least until graduation.

[ladymarian]

Hi dear! I can relate, I am Italian, and since I have moved to the US I have been having a much harder time eating well. I just love all the sweets, and donuts, and fried food! Also cohabitation doesn't help! My boyfriend is this super tall guy who can easily eat a TON and not get fat, and it's hard to eat a salad for dinner while he's having pizza!
Anyhow, I also just found out I am at 176.5, my absolute maximum EVER. I should be approx 150, so I really need to get back on track.
I think if you are studying and moderately active, 1500 calories might be a bit too little. I am doing 1700, and I try to work out at least 3 times a week. Also, my commute to work is a 20 min bike ride every day each way. Liquid calories for me were the easiest to give up: I don't care so much for soft drinks, will happily replace them with water. But pizza and chocolate...those are tough to give up! My goal for the month of March is to get back to 170. Let's see if I can make it!