[snackyreader]

I'm 33 years old and single with no kids. I've struggled with my weight since after college and have always had issues with body image. My friends have always been as supportive as they could be not having ever been in this situation. Anyway, lately I've really been struggling and one of my friends in particular (the one that has always been the most helpful) keeps making comments. I think she's trying to be helpful but it's not.

Last October, she opened a crossfit gym. I joined as did a lot of our friends and people in the community. I was doing really great!!! Last fall, I also started graduate school. Slowly, I've gained weight back and have fallen off with working out. I've also had trouble financially and have started working a part time job. Although, I agree that working out is a great way to handle stress and is healthy it's been really hard for me to balance everything. To me it makes perfect sense how and why I've gotten off track, but to her it's like she thinks I just don't want to. I know I can't do anything about her view point. Sometimes it just hurts my feelings and I feel like I can't talk to her.

Anyway, I guess I'm here to have someone to talk to. I just needed to vent. Sorry it got kind of long, lol.

[Scotsgal]

Hey! So sometimes while friends mean well, they don't always say the right things at the right time, Especially when they themselves have never had a weight problem (or have had a weight problem and feel that because they lost it they can advise others).

First of all I think you need to remember that workout is only 20% of weight-loss. Some people need to up that to maybe 30-40% depending on weight, fitness and body mentality, so don't feel pressured to overdo the exercise part. This has to be a lifestyle change for you and you only, So my advice would be to get my fitness pal or similar type app, just learn about the foods that you eat. I used to love eating pork until I found out how many calories were in it, then I just never enjoyed it afterwards knowing I could of ate something more sustainable. It is all about trial and error, you need to create a weekly food menu that fits into your own lifestyle. So example, say you don't work weekends, so you know that at the weekend you can make something at home (salads and whatnot), if you work during the week, then think about what you can make at work and only take what you are allowing yourself to eat. Soup/ Sandwich/ Beans on toast/ stuff like that. If you work near a subway and you often eat out during lunch then start buying the reduced calorie subs. It will take time to learn about what foods work for you... Your friend cannot do that for you. No doctor, not nutritionist, no fitness guru, has ever been able to suggest foods to me because I know what my body can process or burn off.

If you do not have time to go to a fitness class during the week, do you have a half hour each night at home? Maybe just go a walk? Do a fitness video? Do you have a stationery bike? Most of these things do not cost, I know what its like to try and diet on a budget, it isn't easy. If I had the money and the time I would be at the gym every single day, but then I would lose too quickly and end up with lose skin that I don't want.

I hope this site helps