Hello and Welcome Triis!!!
There are many people here that can relate to what you are feeling. Personally when at my heaviest I would look in the mirror and just didn't feel like me. None of my clothes fit and I was pretty miserable which is not the norm for me at all. It can be a slippery slope - eating, and self loathing but you have taken the first step to take control of your life and health so that is great.
I wish you the best on your journey and I will see you around