My weight 'journey' is so strange to me. I was always thin, never had problems with food, etc not until I met my (now) husband 6 years ago. I guess you do get lazy in love.
Anyway, I feel like I've tried everything and keep failing...or giving up. I got married 6 months ago and thought that would make me want to lose weight so I got a trainer and worked out very hard for a few months and lost 6lbs., then failed. Tried WW, lost 14lbs and then failed. I did give up meat with the hope that would kickstart a weight loss, but, nope (I still abstain from meat for other reasons). I took a brief break from celebrating with booze thinking that would be a kick start, nope. Now I only work out or eat right when I have moments of aggravation with myself.
For all the weight I've lost and gained back I've haven't gone up a size in several years until very recently when my clothes started to become tight and I'm getting scared. I think it might finally be time.
I just keep thinking to myself, 'what is wrong with me?? Why can't I do this? How can I want something so bad and commit nothing to it?' I realized I never look in the mirror anymore, even before leaving the house. I'm never forced to pay attention to my body and when I do, I want to cry.Sometimes I feel like my mind thinks I'm still the 117 to 130lbs I was for most of my life. I admire clothes and cute knee high boots and bathing suits from afar because I know I can never wear them. Having to update my wardrobe is a task I never look forward to. I wish I could say I had a baby and that's what spiked my weight but, nope, general overeating and lack of movement.
I came to this site for some motivation and support. My husband is running a 10 mile race in 70 days and I would like to give myself a personal 70 day challenge. I currently weigh 220 and my goal weight is 150. I know that will need to be benchmarked for the long haul (199, 185, 170, etc). Unfortunately when I see the scale and it doesn't move I quit.
While I'm here, I'm looking for some 'you got this!'..'don't give up'..'we've all been there'.. and a few 'stay strongs' when things get tough. Some advice on how to beat the cravings, ways to remind myself to get moving and maybe some helpful tips! I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and I want to make some changes, get myself ready for the summer after a ridiculous winter of being stuck in the house. Thanks for the warm welcomes in advance and I'm very excited about learning everyone else's story!!
What do you binge on? I'd start there? For me its sweets. Give them up and you may well find your bingeing stops. If its not sweets and other things as well, just start by quitting the sweets. All or them including in your tea and coffee. Continue with fruit. It does not seem to trigger binging behaviours.
Try to eat three regular meals and skip snacking altogether. Only snack if you find yourself hungry and its not mealtime. I mean don't plan them into your diet. They are a stop gap. And then if you do snack, make it low calorie and nutritious one. I suggest fruit, or a low cal sandwich. I find they work and i don't feel guilty or see negative ramifications.
Don't try to starve yourself when you diet. Just figure out your current maintenance calories and reduce them a bit to the point where you can eat but not get hungry.
Do not eat after dinner. And don't eat dinner late. ADn don't stay up all night. I find if i feel mentally weak at all, its when i stay up too late. I kick started my current diet with a one day fast. It was no easy and i broke the fast after midnight but at least it was 24 hours. IT was hard. but i will use that sort of fast again when i think its a good idea. When you fast, if you do it, you should have nothing active to do. Sleeping is a good idea to distract yourself from your hunger. I found as the afternoon wore on, even mentally i was tired. And you have to send yourself kind and helpful messages all day. I also did a lot of different things to make the time pass and changed tasks often. I read, i sewed, i played computer games, I formed, watched tv, walked around the garden, pulled up a few weeds. IF i was a in the house and felt hungry, i would go out of the house. It worked as a distraction.
But back to normal dieting...
You do have to make some ground rules and keep talking yourself into sticking to them at the beginning when its harder. This time i worked on my resolve in a very conscious way.
Personally i don't bother with exercise at the moment, though i think it is great if you can do it. I will do it later. I'm just going with avoiding all sweets, eating really healthy and i'm mostly vegetarian. I do gardening for my exercise really. If you don't want to exercise, consider your exercise housekeeping.Any sort of activity burns calories and keeps your muscles from withering away.
Do your calorie counting in the beginning. keep a precise and complete food diary or do it on My fitness pal. When things seem a bit slow it helps to have something to look back at to adjust. And its harder to fool yourself.
Have a read through my food diary blog link below.
also read some of the goal posts.
And later on at some point, some of the maintenance posts. the latter two are motivating.
Have you got some other problems you are not addressing. Do you have enough to do? Or are you an at home not working kinda person. If you are eating out of boredom you need a job or an engaging activity. These things can lift your mood and an elevated mood makes dieting a lot easier.
I think the thoughts "what is wrong me" "why can't i do this" are self-defeating. Because i find the opposite thoughts, "i've done this before, i know i can do it again", work to motivate me. And i've seen others say the same thing. so when those negative thoughts arise, dismiss them. Distract yourself with some other things or thoughts. Just do not let those negative thoughts proliferate.
So i know you can do this. You have it within you. Yo'u've been skinny before you can be skinny again. Start tomorrow from the time you get out of bed. I always like to start things on a new day or the morning at least.
Thanks Ladies!! My post was probably a little depressing but I guess I was feeling especially sorry for myself last night. I can tell you, my biggest weakness is potato chips. I will use them as a meal replacement when I can't eat, a snack between meals or my boredom food.It's probably a good 85% of my problem, the other 15 is carbs in general. We eat a pesco-ovo diet, so limited fat from beef. I also love candy, not chocolate sugary, chewy candy. Which was fine until I opened the flood gates on buying it and keeping it in the house. Not only do I worry about its effects but I also worry about my beautiful teeth!!
You brought some great things to light, I probably don't get nearly enough sleep, I have a stressful job in marketing and my husband has been out of work for 3 years. It's hard to just feel 'up' enough to get motivated. From 6pm to midnight I fall into the zombie state of binge eating and TV watching to avoid what's going on.
Someone mentioned 'mindfulness' in another thread and I think that's what it comes down to, paying more attention. Aside from food journals (which i know are super important) are there any things you guys do or track around the house to keep yourself motivated? One time I bought a calendare and every day I went to the gym I gave myself a gold star. It was great to see the calendar start to fill up with gold stars (this was actually a trick I read somewhere that works because of our association with gold stars as children). I also started keeping a 'skinny' picture of myself around so I can see what I am capable of being. I appreciate the bit about Pattience not worrying about exercise, that's a good approach. I tend to overwhelm myself with the food and the exercise and the this and the that..
I'm a generally confident person which is why my weight brings me down so much. I'm 'covered up' and don't like attention and people looking at me so I don't give my all in life, I feel like. Being overweight has almost made me feel stupid. I feel like people are judging me ALL the time. I'm ready to change my thinking, 70 days and it's time to get something started. Where do I get one of those nifty goal trackers everyone has?? Thanks again for the support!!
This has to be a life change. You became successful with eating healthy and failed, you tried ww and lost weight and failed. You need to look at your priorities and just do it. If your husband runs marathons, I am sure he eats to fuel his body and that is what you must do. Make a pact with him over the next 30 days only healthy eating, no junk only foods to feed your body. If you mess up, pick yourself up and start from there.
Stay away from the process foods and yes mindful eating. Exercise we all need to do it. I don't care if you are 400 lbs or 130lbs we need to exercise in some form even if it is a walk with the dog or hubby around the block. Don't think of this as all or nothing. This is a journey or a work in progress and each step you make will bring you closer back to where you were before and a much healthier one too.
Liz2266 - you didn't fail - you practiced and you learned some things that work and some things that don't. Take it one day at a time, repeat the things that work, replace the things that don't with something else and carry on. It's hard, especially when the losses are slow (believe me, I KNOW) but it's got to be at least as hard to cry every time you look in a mirror, don't you think?
You have to wait a little while until you can have a ticker. About 20 days.
Do you go out to work? If so you can make time to walk by getting off the train or bus earlier. If you work at home, well that's harder. I had a job once where it was a 30 minute walk to work and another 30 minutes to get back. I did it every day. I really enjoyed it. But then i don't live in a freezing cold country. A friend of mine used to frequently spend an hour walking to work. But i think sometimes she probably took a taxi home.
If you are not able to successfully keep off the potato chips, then your haven't prepared your mind well enough to be on a diet. One day you probably going to have accept that you just can't afford to eat them. As you'd know chips have more calories in them than any sweet whatsoever. Is there anything more calorie concentrated than a potato chip. Its hard to think of something. You are not going to suffer by living without them but i would also give up sweets at the same time because you will probably automatically look for a replacement for the chips if you don't address the actual problem and give up all the potential high calorie binge foods.
Go back to three good meals and healthy nutritious satisfying snacks if you get caught short.
So when you've really grasped and accepted that you will only be able to lose weight successfully when you quit your chips, you might have a chance. At least that's what i believe. I don't believe in cheat days. I mean for me its like quitting smoking and still thinking you can have the odd one now and then. I can't afford to have one, and i haven't had for about 17 years. I gave up many times and always started again thinking how nice it would be just to have one.
Anyway about motivation. To start, my motivation was disgust. I find that a good one. I can not just start a diet at any time. I seem to prepare to give up things like food and cigarettes for months in advance. Its partly subconscious and then i decide just on the spur of the moment and I find i am ready. By this stage i've tried and failed so many times i know what to do. And then i do it. And with food, because its harder than cigarettes, i get better at it each time. I actually enjoy my diets now. (The reasons i gain weight after i'm still working on. )
About motivation to keep going, i don't find its much of an issue for me. But then my life isn't as busy or stressful as yours sounds like. Maybe just make some time each day to find rest and relaxation away from the tv and other mindless distractions. I mean i totally understand how when you come home from work, you are worn out and you just want to zone out. So maybe find some time in the morning. Take up mindfulness meditation. Spend 10 minutes in the morning in a meditation focussed on your weightloss. I know that's not how its normally done but its the regular and ongoing willingness to focus on what you want to achieve that enables you to succeed at anything. And then if you are spending time looking after your attitude, you will start to make better decisions about your food. for instance you will not get caught out without access to healthy food. There is no reason why you should have to rely on a bag of chips instead of something more nutritious and satisfying. When i go to the city, i either take a few pieces of fruit and a sandwich or take something like that and decided where i'm going to eat in advance. Have strategies in advance to take care of those moments of hunger that you know are likely to arise. Be prepared.
In fact maybe be prepared is one motto that would help you a lot. It helps me. I think about stuff in advance. I know what to expect and i either know what choices i'm going to make or i have some stuff organised. I avoid hunger, especially when i'm away from home. But i do it not by eating crap food. I eat good food.
I know that because your life is busy, this is all probably a lot harder for you than for me who works from home and doesn't have a husband and so on. So i think what it may come down to for you is making time to focus in a useful way on your diet. Do it in the morning when you are fresh, and go to bed early at night so that you are always well rested. I have worked in offices before and remember how it was.
I hope some of this is useful.
If you need a kick start, you could do a lot worse than booking yourself in for a weekend meditation retreat at somewhere like one of the vipassana centres run by the goenka people. google will take you there. They are by donation and are all over the world. (i've done two 10 day retreats at their centres) Or even just take yourself to a health retreat place for a weekend. both of these will give you some time to think about what you are doing and help you prepare yourself.
You got great advice already, so I'll just say WELCOME! You got this! Stay strong in the tough moments! And if you hit a road block or make a mistake, DON'T GIVE UP!
New and sad.
