try this again....
Hello All! I am a 30 year old mommy, wife and teacher in Chicago. I have never written a post on a forum like this but find myself needing the advice of smart people like ya'll!
At the beginning of 2013 I was at my all time high weight - just over 300lbs. My husband and I made very small efforts (we suck) but I had lost about 30lbs by August. We went on an awesome family vaca to a farm and came back ready to attack a new school year, grad school, eating better, etc.
2nd day of school I got sick. Really, really sick. Was in the hospital over a week away from my little girl. Had my first, second and 3rd surgeries but was lucky and went home. Things got better for a bit. But, then I got sick again. And again. I have been sick the majority of time since then. I have worked less than 20 days all year. Which hurts my family, a lot.
Being sick has one small perk. I have lost another 35 lbs. But, more importantly to me, I have lost a ton of muscle. I just feel so weak. I have always been a big girl but I have always been able to be active and very strong. I like to carry my 300lb+ hubby across the apartment to practice our fire safety evacuation......what, doesn't everyone do that?? anywhoo......
Right before I got sick I also had an IUD taken out which has really thrown me for a loop and added a big hormonal component to all of these issues. I found out I have PMDD recently but have really been struggling the past few months before I really knew. I have been to a pretty dark place which is abnormal for me. I am very aware and am trying so hard to pull myself out but my normal way to deal would be to eat my way through my feelings. But being that my illness is gastric based... that's not an option I'm willing to even think about.
I am hopeful that things are really under control and I feel like I'm heading in a good direction but I have not weighed this little in.....well, I don't really know. I only have paper records back to 2005 and I was 270 then.
I have a long way to go to be in a healthy place weight-wise. But I am scared of getting back to normal life and not knowing how to eat for this new weight. I am also scared of being active because I am so weak and tired and blah.
I still have at least 60 more lbs to lose but weight loss isn't the only area of life I'm looking to improve. We need to get more fit (physically, financially, etc), read more, compost again, be a better mommy, follow through and crap rainbows.
2014 is going to be a big year.
So, that's me! I look forward to probing you all for information!
Thanks in advance!
p.s. wow!!! I really wrote it, and if you're reading it... I really posted it!!!!
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