A lifetime of being overweight has made fat my comfort zone. Never have I been happy here, however. Just turning 47 also makes me more aware of heath issues that will arise without a lifestyle change. So here I am starting again. Overeating is so deeply ingrained my person not eating what I want feels like I am ripping away part of my soul. I remind myself.....I made it to day number three. This makes me happy. I feel some control. Shopping today with my husband took me to all the places I am accustomed to going on a pay day Friday. Buying the breads and sweets and pastas and processed meats. Stopped by the Amish market when we left to grocer....need I say more. Somehow, I survived without shoving anything into my mouth. All the while thinking I can't wait to read some post on 3FC to give me the strength to continue. Thanks to you all for sharing your success and struggles. Everyone seems so well established in their routines I feel like a newbie. Truth is I have dieted my whole life with the exception of the last two years. Hoping to attract anyone recently starting over with this post, and anyone wanting to give me a little pep talk. My best to all....


Fattiegirl

Welcome! I think you will find the support you need here.

It is tough at first, but I know you can do it. The 40s don't help at all. (There is a 40 something forum as well...)

Welcome to the form, you will find lots of good information and plenty of support. Good for you for starting your journey, keep up the good work

Hi FattieGirl! BACK! What plan are you following? Are you counting calories? Doing WW? Whole foods? Low carb? I just wondered if you can have the food you shopped for today or if you are on a diet that forbids them. I know how it is to have tempting food in the house since my DH is not on a diet. Whatever plan you're on, it's good that you want to lose weight for your health. It's a good time to do it. I'm 52 and when I hit 50, it was as if somebody had flipped a switch and suddenly my body seemed to be changing and not for the better! You have a few years. Do your best to lose weight in that time. You'll be so happy you did! Good luck!

The first three days seem to always be the hardest. I'm also curious what kind of diet you are on now?

There is a big gap between eating everything all the time and depriving oneself of food or certain foods. Is limiting the amount of foods the difficult part or limiting certain foods? I personally love food and cooking and would feel like I was denying a part of myself if I tried to be too strict. I lean towards foods that are minimally processed or not processed at all. I also do intermittent fasting, so I have limited how often I eat. Knowing that the food isn't going to disappear and there will be enough to enjoy makes it easy for me to not eat all the time. Well that and very stable blood sugar. If you have big insulin spikes throughout the day, then it will probably cause cravings that are too big to resist.

I have no doubt that you wouldn't be able to find a suitable and sustainable diet for yourself. The trick is to figure out what works for you, not against you. If something feels like it's going to rip apart your soul, then that's not good. That said, food shouldn't be used to solve problems that aren't related to nutrition. If it's comfort, love or security that you need to feel, then tending to those needs is important. Just not with food, because it'll only bring temporary relief.

Work with yourself, not against yourself!

Like Jacqui, I had a switch that suddenly flipped. It's made it "easier" than I ever thought it could be. It's been 2 months since the last time I had a piece of cake (or cookies or any other sort of "empty" calorie like that) and I never thought that was possible. If I think about it, I have to do a little bit of just powering through it while also asking myself if having that cookie is going to make me happier once I eat it. The answer for 2 months has been no.

I'm ostensibly doing low carb, but really I'm just eating simple things I love to anyway (salads, cheese, meat, green veggies) and not eating sugar, potatoes, breads, anything starchy. There are those that call that unhealthy. Well, eating a dozen cookies, which I used to do, is certainly unhealthy, so I'm not eating those "healthy" things that lead me to crave and eat more sugar. I fail to see how that is unhealthy.

Now, what has not been easy is identifying, Am I hungry? I learned about intuitive eating here (reading The Overfed Head has been a huge help) in trying to train myself to only eat when hungry and stop when that hunger has been satisfied and no further. I'm really working to not have to think about it so much and it's getting better but still having difficulty identifying true hunger and being comfortable with the feeling of being hungry instead of so afraid of it.

I totally understand that struggle, I'm day 3 today and I came real close to cheating.I'm like,omg I just started and I'm having a hard time already?.. but the decision to stay on point everyday is a victory in itself! You just have to use the mantra of its worth it and so are YOU!

I have been working the last few days and unable to post, but I read your wonderful messages and guess what gang??? I am still on plan. That may not seem like a big deal but folks I have been so out of control the last couple of years. This is exactly the kind of support I was looking for and sincerely, it all really helps. Just knowing I am not alone is great!

Mezmerelda and Jenny You were right...The support is definitely here. Thanks for the welcome.

Jacqui D Your message was truly helpful. I am doing a 28 day diet with a couple of co-workers. I think the method is a combination of food combining and low carb. It does permit fruit and there is grapefruit and boiled eggs almost every morning. Jacqui I won't dare mention the food my husband was buying....It was awful. I think he was doing it on purpose. My hard copy of the diet magically disappeared that night. Thank God for the internet.

SparklyBunny WOW...great advice. I think my biggest problem is I am accustomed to having my stomach so full all the time. I like quantity and want to always eat something....I know....psych issues coming out....another group lol. I will read your advice again and again for some time. I think I need to reiterate it daily. The diet is limiting, I mentioned it above. But there are lots of fruit and veggies unlimited. Brown read only twice weekly. I want to finish this for 28 days and graduate to an Ideal protein diet. I think the soul comment disturbed you and it should. It just points out how unhealthy my attachment to eating has been. I do use it as a crutch....It is my DRUG! No drug addiction could be any stronger. I am still in the loosing water stage but I have stayed on plan and been loosing about 0.5 to 1 lb daily....but I have a lot to loose. Thanks again!
!Mad Donnelly Low carb will be the only way I could ever hope to maintain. I understand the "must have grain" crowd, and it is good stuff, but we are all different. SparklyBunny put is well saying find what works for you. Mad D I am going to get through two months without cake and I am going to let you know!! Kisses.

Kelslo 74 Indeed, we are both so worth it...we all are. If know you can do this. Call out for support, it sure worked for me. The control is contagious. Fight girl!



You all are so awesome!!!! Thanks so Much. Things are rolling along much easier-today is day 5.

Sounds good! :-) It's good that you have a clear plan to follow that takes out all the guesswork.

My very first successful diet that I managed to follow from start to finish was really gruesome, but at that time I decided to mentally detach from food and just follow the program. At the same time I did start to tackle the other issues that caused me to use food as a coping mechanism. If I'd have to try to simplify the process in some way, I'd say that it was being more strict about following through a promise I had made for myself (by following the diet one week at a time) and being much more understanding and compassionate towards myself, which eased the need for food as a coping mechanism in the first place. To put it in even more simple terms, I guess I told my inner child that I was finally there to take care of her and there was no need to panic, instead of telling her to shut up and eat a cookie :-)

There's this trend amongst dieters that they take on a challenge like dieting (or diet forever, without actually accomplishing anything) and base the whole thing on the idea that they're weak and need some more willpower and discipline. By doing that, they take on shame and guilt, which can easily trigger going back to food for comfort. It's a vicious cycle. I'm not a psychologist or a doctor, but I do observe people :-)

...and I'm sure this is a perfectly OK group to share what ever you feel you need to share. You're not the only one addicted to food or using it as a crutch.

I have a feeling you're going to be just fine and graduate from your 28 day diet onto the next step :-)

Statements like these are telling I'm finding. A friend of mine, when discussing this whole question of "what is hunger exactly" put it like this: She's never hungry because she's constantly eating because she HATES the feeling of being hungry. I, of course, felt the same way but had never articulated it as such. Truly enlightening.

In reading, I was gobsmacked to learn that a "thin person" LIKES the feeling of hunger. It had never occurred to me to look at hunger as any way but an emergency situation. I may never grow to LIKE the feeling of hunger, but I can retrain my thought process that it's okay to be hungry. That it's not an emergency unless I am truly light headed and passing out.

I'm also training myself, with regard to the cookies and such, that, no, my hunger will not go away after 12 cookies. It will come back quickly and with a vengeance. So I may still WANT the cookie and, in the future, I will eat another cookie I'm sure (because, let's face it, they're good), but as long as I'm MINDFUL that the goal is to get rid of the hunger and I realize that a cookie won't solve the problem at hand of hunger, that's going to take me a long way. I mean, it's so stupid silly easy and yet so frustratingly hard.

I don't know whether it's so much a "liking the feeling of hunger" but simply just being used to feeling hungry.

Maybe that's something we ourselves can get used to??

We welcome you with open arms deary (: Welcome!!

As a fellow overeater it's inspiring to hear you're still on plan! Good luck!