Not Good Enough
 

All my life I've struggled with weight.
At age 16 I was around 165-170 lb and decided I needed to lose so I dropped down to around a 140 and was quite pleased. Unfortunately, people around me felt that since I had done this much I could do better. I never felt good enough.. and somehow that was when I started looking at food (out of all things!) for comfort.

Now at 21 I'm an alarming 230 lb, and I hate my own body.

People have told me that I have one of the coolest personalities ever, but often times I feel like they still don't want to chill with me simply because of my looks. So I feel like screw 'em I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of losing the weight. Of course that is a stupid argument and in the end I'm only hurting myself.

I don't know if I have the strength to lose the weight, because everytime I try something happens and I stop. BUT NOT THIS TIME! I really hope that at the very least I manage to get back to my original 140 pounds... I was much more confident then :(

P.S. I'm not usually this depressed, just going through a really bad phase... will bounce back to normal within a couple days.. could have been faster, but I can't go to my quick-fix bag of chips.. siigh

Welcome!

And admit it, the bag of chips were never really a quick fix, but more of a temporary distraction from whatever was bothering you. You just need to find some new distractions!

You can do this! You DO have the strength, never doubt it. Yes, it will take effort, but you CAN do it!

Hi Sa_M! :welcome: I'm so glad you found this site. You are going to find lots of support here. Quite a few of us know about using weight as a weapon to rebel against others who are pushing us. You are not alone! But you're so right. The one you are hurting the most is yourself. You know how you want to feel, you know how you want to look, and 230 lbs is not where you want to be. So let's get you to where you want to be, what you're comfortable with, what makes you happy! Others can control their lives. They can be whatever weight they want to be. They have no business trying to control your body. You control you. You do what makes you feel good and what makes you happy. Losing the weight is not going to be a super quick process, but just be patient and you will lose the weight all in good time. Each day, you will be faced with making decisions to keep gaining weight, to stay at the weight you are, or to lose weight, and you made a great decision today to join 3FC to help you lose weight! There are wonderful forums, threads, and people here to help you reach your goal! So browse around and get involved! You can do this! Good luck!:carrot:

Hi Sa M! I can relate to your struggle of not feeling "good enough." I have always used food as a comfort even when I was at my lowest weight of 109; I would binge eat and then exercise excessively to make up for it. I used to always reach for food when I was depressed (and mad, and bored and happy) so finding healthy alternatives may be challenging but you'll be so glad you did. There will always be people who, despite your best efforts, will have something critical or negative to say. Its really about taking back control of your life and taking care of yourself. You've done the right thing joining this forum. Like Jacqui D said, there are some wonderful individuals on this forum who want nothing more for you than your success and well-being. Keep coming back!

Welcome, hon. I know it can feel overwhelming, but trust me when I say you can do this! Good luck. :)

Welcome. I swear when I read your post I thought you were my doppelganger from another country. Even your height, weight and age are close to mine :p

Good luck on your journey, you'll find a lot of support here :)

:wel3fc: I can definitely relate.. I'm 20, but I started out quite a bit heavier than you! That being said, if someone ever told me they like me as a person but don't want to hang out because of my size, I would literally never speak to that person again. WTF kind of attitude is that to have about another human being? Not worth the time of day if you ask me! Good luck on your journey :hug: