Hi ya'll,
I have always been unhappy with my body, ever since I can remember. I thought people didn't like me because I was not like the others, and that deeply affected my ability to let go and really be myself during social gatherings. I get upset and binge eats, it just ended up as a vicious cycle. As I grew older, productivity distracts me from my dislike for myself. For work and personal preferences, I need to look presentable. 80% of the time, I just look frumpy. There is no amount of covering up or belting that can change that. Few weeks ago after working on a photography project, I took a few photos of myself. I felt pretty good about myself that day, thought I look pretty nice in the dress I had on. Although reality sucks, I know photos aren't 100% the reflection of reality, but my goodness. That was kind of a wake-up call.
Clothing designers just don't make this size, and I've even had sales reps at the store giving me "Why is she here?" looks. When I needed a dress for a friend's wedding, one of the ladies from Saks flat out told me that they don't make dresses in my size. Finding clothing for occasions especially, is just a nightmare, I'm different sizes all over.
I've tried different diets before, and exercise a little, but my school and work schedules make it impossible to manage. Couple days ago, I started the keto diet and restarted my workout routine. I'm don't care to become paper thin, I just want to look good in my cloth and be happy and be my real self. (and look good in the wedding dress...)
Goals:
Dress size XL to M; 16/18 to at least 6/8
Build some muscle and fix my posture
Must look good in the wedding dress come Spring 2014
Looking forward to learn from all of you and for supports when I start to loose my motivation.

Tofu Sprinkles