46, mom, wants to wear a sundress for the first time
 

Hi, everyone. I just joined here a few moments ago. Long story short, I used to think that I was "fat" in high school when I weighed 117 lbs. (I'm 5'4".) As I moved into my 20s, I was drinking and eating pizza delivery and drinking and chowing down on anything and everything. I don't ever remember being 130, 140, 150, 160, or even 170 ... I suddenly wound up at 180 lbs. And there I stayed until I had my first child in my early 30s. At that time, I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes and went on a low-carb, healthy eating plan. When my son was born, I was at 160 -- and so proud! But I gained the weight back. After two more kids, I was at around 190. Then I quit smoking, and within a year jolted up to 225 or so. I could not believe that number when I saw it on the scale. I was horrified. :(

That was ... omg ... has it been 7 years?!? Yep. Since then, I have lost 50 lbs, gained 50, lost 30, gained 30, lost 20, gained 20.... Now I am at around 220, and hating it.

I'm sure that many of you will know how I feel in that I am OBSESSED with my weight. I hate it. I hate looking in the mirror. I am ashamed of myself. Even my fat clothes are tight :( I think about losing weight many, many times per day. It is on my mind all the time.

I recently started doing a little something about it, but it's not enough. I'm not disciplined to do all things right all the time. And I can always "see" cheats coming up, so I tend to give up easily.

But I see that so many of you have done it ... and I want to do it, too! My dream is to wear a sundress, and to look and feel pretty in it.

I know what I have to do to reach that goal.

--Work out at least 5x a week. I do treadmill right now, about 45-50 minutes, burning about 300 cals.

--Keep my cals to around 1,500 a day. (I think -- according to a recent BMR calculation, I can actually eat 1,800 -- but is that 1,800 really 2,100 MINUS the 300 for the workout?)

--Cut back on beer and wine. (Ladies, my husband is a home brewer. We're not alcoholics, but we do love to have our nightly beer and wine! It is going to be so hard to give this up....)

--What else?!?

Oh, I also have type 2 diabetes now; I take glipazide and metformin 2x a day.

I would like to find a buddy, too. If my story resonates with you at all, let me know. I looked for a "buddy" forum, but didn't see one!

I CAN DO THIS. Right?!?

If you've made it this far, I thank you a BUNCH for listening! :)

Yes you can absolutely do this. And try searching diabetes group

I totally know what you mean to be obsessed with your weight. I probably think about it the most out of the day. I also have issues with allowing "cheats" so I just cut those out completely. It is hard and for 3 days I was walking around my house saying "You don't need that candy... You don't need chips... You don't need (insert your craving here)." Until I finally stopped thinking it over and over again. My brain isn't obsessing over wanting my next bite anymore. Exercise is getting easier and easier to do, and the best part is ALL of this is working! The scale is rewarding me for my efforts. You're worth being the best you you can be! Congratulations on at least wanting to make this change. I wish you all the luck!

And if you look under "Support Groups", there's all sorts of groups out there. Some for age, some for the amount of weight you want to lose, etc. You'll find all of the support you need around here. :)

Hi Ren I can totally relate to you and all of what you have said minus the brewer part. :) I'm 47, mother of 5, had gestational diabetes with the last two pregnancies, as of May 2012 diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (probably had it longer but no insurance), I take two doses of metformin a day. I see you haven't posted since the 9th so I hope you have not lost hope. :hug: 3FC is a truly great place to start. There's a ton of useful information and the members are quite informative and helpful. They'll pick you up when you fall, cheer you on and even give that needed virtual hug :) There's a small group of us that chit chat on this thread http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-...ty-thread.html come check us out :) We look forward to having you :)