[Selina Kyle]

Howdy Chicks,

Today is the last day I "start over" with losing weight. Because I'm not "on a diet", I've chosen to change my lifestyle which means permanent positive changes to my eating, exercise and attitude habits.

Since 1st grade I was always a little heavier than the other kids in my class, but I wasn't what you'd call fat. Chubby, perhaps. I've been overweight since I was in my mid-tweens.

In junior high I lost 45lbs or so and was down to a normal weight for my height/frame. It was the best feeling in the world being healthy and not having to worry that my peers wouldn't automatically ignore/condemn me because I was fat. The "thin" me lasted about 2 years before my weight started to creep back up.

I rode the diet roller coaster all through college and a decade after...which leads us to now. Recently I've started getting horrible side effects from my being overweight. I am in pain on a daily basis, and some of it I cannot stop/treat. Burning pins and needles in my legs, sciatica, chronic migraines...you name it. It's miserable feeling like this all the time, and on top of it I'm 95+lbs overweight.

Despite my declining health, I was able to kid myself about my weight for a long time...not in the "I'm not fat" or "it's not that bad" kind of way, but rather in the "it's just my cross to bear", "I can put up with it" way.

Well I can no longer put up with it. I refuse to put up with the pain, the embarrassment, the misery of being this fat any longer. I have lost out on so many things in life because I didn't love myself enough to stick with it and keep on with a healthy lifestyle. I didn't believe I deserved to be happy, whole and healthy. I don't believe any of those things anymore.

I was 245lbs at the start of this year. I am now at 220. My immediate goal is 135, with a view to getting between 125/117.

[Tuscany]

Good for you! And you're right...diets are for people who gained 5 lbs over the holidays because they went a little overboard. For those of us who have struggled with weight for most of our lives, we need to think in terms of a change in lifestyle, recognizing that our changes in eating habits and exercise are permanent.

[Kitcherella]

you'll find lots of like-minded people here!

[Rhiko]

I'm glad to hear that you pointed out that what you are doing is a lifestyle change. I hope you aren't being too hard on yourself about your choices leading up until now. Try thinking of your past experiences that you weren't ready yet.

Remember to give yourself mini-goals to help keep on track. Exercising by taking daily, or 3x a week, for at least 30 minutes will help with some of your health issues. Since exercising, my sciatica has almost disappeared.

[PatLib]

Hey! I started at about 220 and now I am at about 180! I also want to get to about 130. So good luck!

[Bunnydream]

I can relate. I've decided enough is enough. For me, I suffer from extreme back pain but that is about it. I also have pretty high blood pressure and I'm very worried about my health. What if I get any bigger? I'm sure I will develop diabetes as it runs in my family, along with heart disease.

But I really feel like I can do this! It's all about CONSISTENCY and making small goals at first! I've been on the 'diet' before, I lost 30 lbs and then that was that, I gained and gained until I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life! This time around I am participating in actual therapy and changing my entire lifestyle, just taking little steps at a time.

Good luck!

[Selina Kyle]

Thanks so much for the warm welcomes.

Every time I feel like it might not be worth it, I think about how much it hurts (both emotionally and physically) to be overweight and how much I want to change my life for the better. That, and all the nasty weight-related side effects kinda keep me on track, too. Every time I feel that burning pins and needles sensation in my leg or my back starts playing up, I feel more determined to just keep going.

I'm taking it one day at a time and not beating myself up over the little things. I' trying to adhere to the idea of kaizen - gradual, daily improvement. I believe this will help me to meet my goals.

[Mozzy]

Welcome and good luck on your journey!!