I'm Sayra. I'm 300+ pounds, in my 30s, have practically no self esteem and am kinda down. And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my rubbish job and my lonely existence and my sense that I'm going nowhere, I'm sick of never being comfortable around people and of big life events being a massive ball of angst because I don't really want people taking photos of me and it takes so much time and energy and money to get something nice to wear. I'm sick of believing that my singledom is inevitable and deserved and that, anyway, I wouldn't trust anyone who said they liked me because, um, have you seen me? I'm sick of feeling sad. So I'm going to change. And apparently change is easier with support, support that isn't my family and their well meaning judgment and disappointment.

I started doing research on ways to add exercise into your life when walking is painful and you hurt all the time and you don't want to stress your joints. I started doing research on hints and tips and ways to lose weight (because a lot of that stuff previously is all wrapped up in my weight, not all of it but a significant amount). I started looking into ways to motivate myself. And then I found this place and I though "why not?" So I joined. And here I am. Rambling. And saying hi.

"Hi."

Lol.

Despite the tone of the above, I'm generally quite a chirpy person who sings alot and would really like to go back to dancing. Because dancing is awesome. But it hurts at the moment, and I have no stamina. I was thinking of starting with belly dancing because its relatively low impact and I've done it before. And, ooh, there's an emoticon for that: cool.

Welcome!

Thank you.

Hi ya! You've found the right place. I felt much the same when I started my journey...

Hi! You are unstoppable!

I'm going to introduce small bits of exercise into my day. I know I won't go to a gym because a. I can't afford it, b. I can't face it, face people and c. It's too big a thing, its daunting. So, small things to get me going. Also I am breaking my day down into size of meal and then, instead of feeling bad if I eat, say, a non-breakfast thing at breakfast time, if I meet the calorie range then that's a win. And, to try and combat the fact that sometimes my choices aren't that great, have a portion of fruit or veg with every meal, pref more. Except I'm really good at fruit but not so great at veg.

Only thing is that I keep seeing different things on how many calories I should be aiming at every day with a range of like 800 calories depending on site/person. Which is a lot. So, just now, I'm trying to find a reliable site so I can design a suitable framework.

Hey Sayra! Welcome to the forums. I hope that the support here will help you with achieving your goals! Hope to see you around! Good luck!

Welcome! Sounds like you have some great ideas. Some people on here use myfitnesspal.com or fitnesspal.com (something to that effect) to track their eating. You may want to do the same. Someone just started this morning as well and she is starting a free program. You might want to look into it. If you can give up bread, rice, pasta and processed foods, you can go to Atkins.com and get the info on that plan for free also. They have a support forum for that program and if you sign up for that, you get 3 of their bars free and a great carb counter book and the diet plan. I was very impressed with what they sent me. You have a very good outlook on exercise. So many people come here and post negative thoughts on having to do exercise, but I have found if I don't enjoy it, I won't follow through with it. I would recommend you drink plenty of water each day. My doc told me to drink 1/2 my body weight in water up to 100 oz max per day. I contribute much of my past diet success to exercise and drinking water. Hope something I said helps you. If you visit here often, you will find the information, motivation and encouragement to succeed at your weight loss goals.

Blessings,

Myfitnesspal didn't work on my phone so I'm just using the old fashioned "notepad in my handbag" method of recording what I eat. I'm not very flashy when it comes to these things. Anything that makes my life too awkward I won't do because I don't consider it sustainable. Cutting out carbs won't work for me because I like to eat out and I like to make sandwiches for lunch and because I don't believe it will work long term. Instead I'm working on knowing what is in "normal" things (and I use normal under advisement because I know its largely a nonsense term) that I will eat and can sustain. I'm also very ... suspicious of any brand name diet/healthy eating plan because I figure part of their business plan has to be that you tell your friends, make some improvement but never meet goal because, at that point, you might not need to buy their stuff anymore. Yes I know that's cynical. So I'm designing my own framework based around calorie intake instead.

Welcome to 3FC, Sayra!

You're smart to do "baby steps." Often people start out really gung-ho, wanting to see results quickly, so they completely change the way they eat overnight and also overdo on exercise.

So what happens? They get burned out on both - quickly.

Small changes to your eating habits as well as trying to incorporate just a little more movement is a good way to start.

You'll find lots of support here!

I don't know if this is possible for you but I got rid of my car and it has done wonders for me. I have to walk to work and the grocery store. I also have to walk to the grocery store every week because I can't load up on trashy food that goes in the freezer. So every Saturday I have to plan out my grocery list and only get what fits in my little grocery dolly. It really control the junk food that I eat. Obviously, you may live somewhere where walking isn't feasible but if it is something to consider!

Welcome!! I'm also new here, but I have lost 60 lbs over the past year. Some of the things you are mentioning in your post I can totally relate to. The inevitable singledom...tell me about it! The not wanting pictures taken, the low self-esteem, the not liking veggies and loving fruits...sounds like I could've written it myself.

I just wanted to let you know that, even 60 lbs down, those things don't go away. I may not be 220, but I'm still single and, even though I'm in the best shape of my life, it's still difficult to feel like I deserve the type of person I do. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't go into this thinking that losing weight will solve your problems because it doesn't. It's been a struggle that I've had to deal with and I wish someone had told me that when I started.

Also, try to be more open to veggies. Fruits, although good, still should be eaten in moderation because they are still full of sugar. I wasn't crazy about veggies when I first started, but as you go along and your eating habits change, so do your tastes. Now, I'm eating things I would've NEVER tried before and liking them!

Just some things that I have come across in my personal experience. Hope they help!

Thanks for the well wishes.

I've tried the all or nothing approach before. I'm here because it didn't work so baby steps seems logical and wise (they say wisdom comes with age right?)

I'm carless so I can't give that up and the grocery store is like five mins away so I'm there regularly anyway. This is something I'm going to try to stop because I walk in going "buy veg" and walk out going "mmmm haribo". I hear its important to recognise bad habits; going to Tesco is a bad habit.

I don't think losing weight will solve all my ills I just think its tied in with a lot of them. Its a stepping stone, not the whole journey. As for fruit/veg, I seem to just find it easier to incorporate: juice at breakfast and lunch, banana for a snack, cherry tomatoes with lunch. Dinners are... problematic so this is where I think veg will come in more. I need to start cooking rather than microwaving rubbish!!

Welcome and good luck on your journey!!