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Old 12-30-2012, 11:03 AM   #1  
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Default Wasn't sure whether or not to do an intro . .

Ok so I wasn't sure whether or not to do my own intro or just tag onto somebody else's but in the nature of laying all my cards out on the table here it goes.

I am a 26 year old female living in Australia (originally from Ireland). I've always been overweight, from slightly as a child to progressively worse as a teen and then brutal in late teens early 20s. I have always been aware of my weight status, I'm not one of those people who didn't realise how bad they were or had it creep up on them. I have been regularly weighing myself since the age of 15. I have also spent the last 10 years drawing up plans of how I will lose the weight. I do a chart with once weekly weigh ins and the corresponding date and set a goal for each week. I map out realistic goals for however many weeks it will take me to achieve goal and I endeavour to hit each week and achieve my goal as planned. The most goals I have ever successfully tracked has been 1 week.

The reason for my never ending failures is that once I crack at all, I totally break down. If I want some chocolate, I won't just have a bar which would be excusable on a diet and wouldn't impact me that much but I will go on an all out binge fest because once I'm off the wagon I might as well go all the way. This unhealthy attitude has caused me to go on massive binge sessions very regularly where I am usually eating foods that I don't even want but just compulsively doing so! It has also resulted in me purging quite regularly athough I don't know why I bother because I will only eat after so I don't know that you could actually call me bulimic.

Thing is, I am not a crazy person! I am a reasonably intelligent person who can make balanced decisions in all the other areas of my life but this I just can't seem to get control of. No matter how much I convince myself that my behaviour is ridiculous, unhealthy, isolating and soul destroying, I just keep going back to the same behaviours. What I am beginning to realise is that I am dealing with an addiction, not just a lack of will power and that I really need to address the cravings as I get them and develop a new way of dealing with them. Thing is that everytime I decide that "this is it", I just say 1 more day of living in the old life till months have gone by and I'm still in the same loop.

That is why I am saying that 2013 will be my year and I really hope that it will. I am going home for a visit in June which will be my first trip home since I got here over a year ago and I always thought that I would be going back with all the weight gone. I have about 5 months to make some impact on that and I am determined to do so. I just really think I need a forum like this to talk to people who would have some idea as to what I'm going through.

Anyway, that was a massive rant for someone who wasn't even going to post! Thanks to anyone who held in till the end!
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:09 AM   #2  
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You will go back for that visit and feel proud of what you have achieved in the next 5months. Just keep thinking back to this day, joining friends in your journey is your first step in the right direction x
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:12 AM   #3  
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I am right there with you, have diet diaries going back 10 years with charts and graphs and menu plans etc, lets not do the long term planning this time, just the weekly one..cx
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:20 AM   #4  
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Just want to say welcome and I did read to the end.

Check in to 3FC often and use it for all the support you need. Having others coping with the same issues as we have is so helpful to me, I hope you find it useful too. Happy New Year!
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:43 AM   #5  
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I know you said you were in the same boat as me in my intro thread but you really are! I swear I could have written your post. Right down to being from Ireland! Unfortunately for me I'm living in Scotland now so not as exotic as you.
Seeing as we're in exactly the same position I might well use you as my motivation buddy. I'm sure together we can do this!
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:33 PM   #6  
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Old 12-30-2012, 11:03 PM   #7  
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Welcome and good luck on your journey!
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Old 12-31-2012, 01:41 AM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccatea View Post
I know you said you were in the same boat as me in my intro thread but you really are! I swear I could have written your post. Right down to being from Ireland! Unfortunately for me I'm living in Scotland now so not as exotic as you.
Seeing as we're in exactly the same position I might well use you as my motivation buddy. I'm sure together we can do this!
I like the idea of a motivation buddy! Would love to hear how you are getting on
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Old 12-31-2012, 09:08 AM   #9  
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welcome!
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Old 01-01-2013, 03:06 PM   #10  
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Originally Posted by timeisnow2013 View Post
I like the idea of a motivation buddy! Would love to hear how you are getting on

Well I feel like a failure already. For no apparent reason I went and ordered myself a takeaway pizza. I ate a whole pizza, and it was buy one get one free so I have another one sitting on the table. I know I should just throw it out. I feel so disgusting, like I have absolutely no self control.
I'm so ashamed of myself. I guess that's another "start tomorrow" then.

I hope you're getting on better than me.
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Old 01-02-2013, 06:03 AM   #11  
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Originally Posted by rebeccatea View Post
Well I feel like a failure already. For no apparent reason I went and ordered myself a takeaway pizza. I ate a whole pizza, and it was buy one get one free so I have another one sitting on the table. I know I should just throw it out. I feel so disgusting, like I have absolutely no self control.
I'm so ashamed of myself. I guess that's another "start tomorrow" then.

I hope you're getting on better than me.
I can't tell you the amount of times I've done that. You get this overwhelming desire to get something even though you're not even necessarily hungry and then you go and eat way too much and feel horrible. Don't be down on yourself. I'm doing ok but not spectacular, went out for New Years and had a fairly big night so was struggling yesterday and had to get popcorn, jellies and coke to tide me over, I did stop at getting takeaway though which would be what I usually do and while it wasn't an amazing day I was impressed that I didn't got over the top cause I generally do if I have anything bad at all.
Got a root canal today which meant I'm not too much in the mood to eat - 1 my mouth is numb, 2 my teeth are really bad because of all the soft drinks and binging I do so it really is a lesson to me to cop myself on.
Are you following any particular diet?
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Old 01-03-2013, 01:06 PM   #12  
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Originally Posted by timeisnow2013 View Post
I can't tell you the amount of times I've done that. You get this overwhelming desire to get something even though you're not even necessarily hungry and then you go and eat way too much and feel horrible. Don't be down on yourself. I'm doing ok but not spectacular, went out for New Years and had a fairly big night so was struggling yesterday and had to get popcorn, jellies and coke to tide me over, I did stop at getting takeaway though which would be what I usually do and while it wasn't an amazing day I was impressed that I didn't got over the top cause I generally do if I have anything bad at all.
Got a root canal today which meant I'm not too much in the mood to eat - 1 my mouth is numb, 2 my teeth are really bad because of all the soft drinks and binging I do so it really is a lesson to me to cop myself on.
Are you following any particular diet?
I'm not following any diet in particular (maybe that's silly of me but I know if I make things too structured and hard to follow then I just won't follow it) I guee I'm just trying to stop binging and cut out food I know is bad for me. Eat smaller portions and I think I may have to start calorie counting.

I just started a new job (acting/performance thing) so I'm going to be on my feet all day moving around so I'm hoping that not being sedentary all might help me burn off a bit.

I need to get myself motivated enough to do proper exercise though. I felt so bad after my pizza binge that I made myself go for a walk which included a jog (a very, very short jog) but at least I made myself do something!
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:54 AM   #13  
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Originally Posted by rebeccatea View Post
I'm not following any diet in particular (maybe that's silly of me but I know if I make things too structured and hard to follow then I just won't follow it) I guee I'm just trying to stop binging and cut out food I know is bad for me. Eat smaller portions and I think I may have to start calorie counting.

I just started a new job (acting/performance thing) so I'm going to be on my feet all day moving around so I'm hoping that not being sedentary all might help me burn off a bit.

I need to get myself motivated enough to do proper exercise though. I felt so bad after my pizza binge that I made myself go for a walk which included a jog (a very, very short jog) but at least I made myself do something!
Hey Rebeccatea

Sorry I haven't been online, broke my laptop and it's not an easy site to navigate on the phone.

How are you doing?
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