I've been 130 lbs, and I've been 207 lbs, my weight has always fluctuated. I grew up being the "fat kid", I admit I have some pretty bad habits that I need to break. I have a bad relationship with food. I emotionally eat.
Sometimes I've lost weight on purpose, other times just inn-attentional life style changes have lead to a drop in weight. Right now, I'm probably about 200 lbs..as disappointed as I am to admit it. I'm really uncomfortable in my body, in my clothes. I purposely don't look at my body in the mirror. Just last year I was 150 lbs a size 7 (I was break-up thin) and now I'm a size 16..My size is making me a social recluse, I dread going on vacation, I hate going shopping, I'm embarrassed to see people, and lately, I've been noticing negative public attention which is cruel and humiliating.
I'm on day 2, of making small life style changes towards my goal because I'm sick of yo-yo-ing and I want this to be permanent. I've been calorie counting and I'm going to jump on the elliptical tomorrow to get going on my exercise goals. My goal isn't exactly size or weight based because I feel I'll get discouraged if I don't get there quickly. So I'm focusing on getting healthy. I'm ready to enjoy life again

Hello and welcome! on getting started.

Mini goals along the way do help a lot

YeahImGame,

I can empathize! I just got back on the healthy wagon on Monday and joined 3FC yesterday. Fat/thin kid, fat/thin adult. Highest weight -258 (didn't even know - saw it on my medical charts a few years later). Then down to 150 then up to 198 then down 150 then back up to 196 then down to 147 a year ago. Now back up to 180 as of 3 days ago. This roller coaster is making me dizzy - I want off!My husband has an office party on Friday and initially I refused to go - those people saw me a year ago thin!! Then I realized I was hurting my DH's feelings - he thought I wasn't being supportive. So I just told myself that what his coworkers think doesn't matter. If I haven't seen those folks in a year - they aren't vital in my life. Don't worry about folks in public and what they may or may not be thinking. Sounds like you are on the right track - make yourself happy first!

-C-
Sometimes you gotta fake it til you feel it! Tell yourself that you are beautiful and you will be.

Misti: Thank you! I'm excited to see change, and you're right mini goals are the way to go. I did good with my eating today progresso light soups and carrot sticks are officially my saviors... I weighed myself, as I suspected i'm 200.8. I want to be 195 by January even though I think I can probably do better if I try but until then that's my plan.

2FatCats: I'm glad you went to the Christmas party anyway! You're right, if people are surprised and judgmental than they probably haven't been with you on the journey and they don't matter. I'm going to try to think that from now on. I actually have a Christmas party to go to tonight but it's for my work, so they know I'm fat right now haha. I'm going to try to stay on my diet tonight, I specifically requested grilled veggie entrees from the caterer. Thank you for the encouragement it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

Welcome and good luck on your journey

Thank you Mozzy! I appreciate all the support Good luck to you too and congratulations on your impressive progress!