Oh, Trittie! We seem to all have that ah-ha moment.
This thing is HARD. And often so unfair. But you have not failed because you are here. And you're willing to work it.
There are so many ways to lose weight. And many of them are healthy, sustainable plans. But not all of them are right for every person - even the healthy, sustainable ones.
Join in. Ask questions. Get advice. And know that you are so much more than your weight. Lots of us on this forum are still fat chicks (though there are many former fat chicks and a number of never-really-been-fat-but-struggled-with-my-weight chicks. And I promise - you will start to love and admire the women on this forum, no matter what their ticker says. And, hopefully, you will transfer that attitude to yourself. I'm sure there are people in your life that weigh more than you that you admire. And you would never tolerate anyone judging them harshly because of their weight. So don't do it to yourself. You're just one of the many struggling with weight issues. And you are so much more than that.
Glad to have you here. Excited to hear about your successes and to join in your struggles.