[DaisyBee]

Hello.

I'm Kayleigh, i'm 24...i've just ordered scales for the first time in my life and i'm petrified.

I'm scared of what they will say, i am scared of the number that will show and i am so tired of being this way.
I'm here hoping i can get some support to change that. My weight has haunted me my entire life. I'd love to know how it feels to be slim and healthy.
I'm addicted to food and i always have been. I feel like my body is keeping me prisoner and it upsets me because i know i deserve better than this. I know i deserve better than what i do to myself...i'm here because i'm scared for my health and i hate that this prison of weight is keeping me away from the life i deserve and want so much. I'm tired of it holding me back.

This is very, very emotional for me and i really hope you'll all understand and will be nice to me, lol.

I'm planning my shopping list for the next big shop and i start July 1st. I'm lucky enough to own an exercise bike so i'll be using that to work out - it's less pressure on my back (i have chronic back pain).
I feel really lost and upset tonight...i go through periods of feeling positive and optimistic but now i've ordered that scale i'm terrified of what i'll see when i step on it for the first time.
This is not the first time i've tried to lose weight...not at all...everytime i tell myself this will be the last time i attempt to do this...i hope this time i'm right. What's different is how i'm holding myself accountable by facing 'the numbers'.
I have never, ever done that before. I really hope i'm strong enough this time around.
I'm hoping you'll all be holding my hand through this and helping me get to where i need to be.

Thanks for reading.

[runthecontinent]

Hi Kayleigh!
I know the scale can be terrifying! Don't let the number get you down though.. After all, it is only the starting point to get where you want to be. And you know everything is going to change now, one step at a time. The number you see can sometimes be disappointing, but it also shows when you have made progress (even if you can't see any changes to your body yet). Every small improvement will give you the motivation you need to take it further. Having a scale is a good way to keep track of your weightloss and remind you why you are doing this!

Back pains are tricky.. I have them too, but have found they have improved since I started exercising more. Still, you don't want to make them worse!

I wish you good luck! Once you have lost some weight you'll start feeling so much better and it will help you keep up the work. And don't forget sharing your experiences here for support.

Charlotte (also 24, and also newbie )