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Old 05-08-2012, 09:40 AM   #1  
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Default Wonder when I look in the mirror how did I let this happen

Hello!
I am 35 and have lost weight before and swore I wouldn't let myself gain again. I had my first baby at 18 and then went on depo-provera for birth control and gained weight on top of my baby weight.Finally I stopped the depo got in shape and at 26 had my second baby. After having her my thyroid went hay wire, I developed Graves disease. Had my thyroid killed with the radioactive iodine and then went hypothyroid and gained a lot of weight. In one week I gained 10lbs. It was horrible! By the time my daughter was 5 I was losing weight and back on track. Finally got down to my goal weight of 130 from 170 when my daughter was 6. I then found out I was pregnant. I had decided before that we were not having any more so it was a shock. But figured at least I was in shape and at a good weight to start the pregnancy. I only gained 30lbs in my pregnancy. 3 months after she was born I already back down to 140. But now here I am at 162 and my daughter is almost 2.

It was when I hit 160 that I said I must do something. And I am realizing that losing weight in my 30's is tougher then my 20's. I keep beating myself up and asking why didn't I do something at 150 why did I wait till 160. Now it is going to be harder. I have had 2 surgeries since my baby so maybe that is why or maybe having 3 kids or just laziness.

I am currently as of 3 weeks ago cutting calories to 1400 and doing at least 20 mins of exercise videos a day. And I am gaining! I want to just give up and cry. I keep reading muscle weighs more than fat but I never gained before when exercising. So I decided as a last hope to join this site for help/support.
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Old 05-08-2012, 10:42 AM   #2  
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I understand how you feel. After vigorous dieting and exercise I had lost a significant amount of weight, only to gain 20 lbs of it back. I'm out of my comfort zone again and I keep asking myself "Why did I let this happen?". But take comfort in the fact that you decided to do something now, rather than at 180 lbs, 200 lbs, etc. And with three kids, it's definitely not laziness! My best friend is a mother of 2, and she hardly ever has time to think or care about herself. But it's important that you do, so I'm glad you're here. And you're right, you're probably gaining muscle. But if calorie counting isn't working for you, you could always try Atkins. I've had a lot of success with it so far. Good luck to you!
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Old 05-08-2012, 10:45 AM   #3  
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When you say you are gianing what does that mean? If it is one or two pounds, then that is likely water weight or water retention in the muscles you are working, especially if you are sore when you work out. When I lift especially hard, I get sore, and when I get sore, I have a small gain. You make little microtears when you work out hard, and the body pools fluid in the cells to heal itself. As far as the muscle thing, it is really time consuming and requires a heck of a lot of effort to make a change in body composition, so it is not likely that you put on several pounds of muscle this quickly. What is more likely is that you are retaining water for whatever reason, whether it be more sodium, muscle repair, time of the month, whatever. The thing we seem to forget so soon when we lose (again), is how much the scale goes up and down, up and down, before it goes down. If you keep it up, it will go down. I am certain of that. You have to have faith in yourself, and remain committed. And realize that exercise is important for your body to be strong and healthy, and when you feel strong, you want to keep going. Check with your doctor if it's not more than a few pounds, just to make sure you don't need more thyroid meds. Come here to read other people's posts, and you will see that you are not alone in this! Welcome!
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Old 05-08-2012, 11:13 AM   #4  
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Thank you both. I know I didn't gain this weight over night and I will not lose it overnight either. But I am hoping with support I won't give up. I get my thyroid checked every 6 weeks right now. So I hope with fine tuning my medical stuff and diet and adding exercise I will be on the right path.
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Old 05-08-2012, 09:59 PM   #5  
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Victoriah68,

You have been through so much in your life..I feel for you..how brave you are to have made the descision to start losing weight again...and how smart to come here. The folks here are very knowledgeable and wonderful. I am new here so I will not even consider giving advice...but extend a hand of friendship on your journey...and you are NOT lazy.... HUGE HUGS....I wonder...just a thought..that maybe measuring might help...seeing the measurements change might help some.....you may find if its muscle building up...that measurement might show the loss in weight...again I dont know..lol...but a thought...
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Old 05-10-2012, 01:07 PM   #6  
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Cuddlebug,
Thanks for the kind words! It means a lot to me. People like you make these support groups helpful.
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