Hello everyone!
 

Hi everyone! I am Marie and this is my first time posting on this forum. I am hoping that by having others who are struggling with their weight, or those who have, can help me to stay inspired in my weight loss journey.

A little about me:
As a child I was tall and thin, and never had any weight issue. I have struggled in some form with my weight since I was about 11 or 12. At that age (around when I hit puberty), is when I first noticed there was a problem. I was not skinny like most of the other girls my age, but not was not overweight. I just was self-conscious because I was not "skinny" like my friends. I had always been very athletic and involved in sports, so I think that contributed to me staying fit. I never dieted or tried to be super health conscience, but stayed very active. This continued through my teens. My weight hovered between 140-150 lbs. and I am 5'6.

I had my first child at 19. When I was pregnant with her, I gained about 120 lbs.! I was completely floored at how much weight I was gaining during my pregnancy! In retrospect, I attribute it to the fact that I was not trying to be weight conscience. I ate whatever I wanted because I had always lived that way. As I put the weight on, I became less and less active. Vicious cycle. After my daughter was born, I really made it a point to lose the weight. I ate healthy and began working out at a gym. I lost almost 100 lbs. by the time she was a year old.

When my daughter was about 4, I had a major life change and attitude adjustment. I had become inspired by something that I had read and began to really take control of my body. I started the "Eat Right For Your Blood Type" diet and began really focusing on fitness. It really made me feel great. Lost the last 20 lbs. I had been carrying around and I was feeling very strong. I could run 6 miles in less than an hour, do pushups, etc. I kept this going strong for a long time. When my daughter started kindergarten, I started college. Over the course of that four year period, I gained about 50 lbs. This put my hovering around 200 lbs.

I got pregnant with my 2nd child when I was 28. So, I started my pregnancy at about 210. This time I ended up gaining about 85 lbs. She is now 11 months and I have not come too far.

I started my weight loss journey about a 3 weeks ago. I have been working out really hard at least 5 days out of the week. At this point I have only lost 8 lbs. I am so incredibly frustrated. Starting at 255 lbs. and am currently at 247 lbs. I am still wearing my maternity clothes. This is the largest I have ever been without being pregnant and I am so embarrassed about how I look and that makes it even harder at the gym. I feel like people are staring at me like "Who let the fat chick in the gym?" I want to shout back at them, "What?! You've never seen at fat girl do squats before?!" I am just so discouraged. Please tell me this is worth it! Thanks for reading. :^:

Welcome!

I am SURE no one at the gym is thinking that. In fact, if they even notice you at all, they are most likely thinking "good for her!". At my gym, everyone is just focused on themselves. I find joining challenges to be a great way to keep on track!

Good luck with your journey and just remember one day at a time!

hi Marie ---

Welcome! I agree that people in the gym are generally thinking about themselves rather than about others (but in a good way : ). And good for you! You are taking exactly the right steps to be healthier and live longer. Browse around, and you will find places that you "fit" best here, whether by age group or pounds-to-lose group or eating-plan group. It's a very helpful, friendly, and informative "place."

Hi Marie - I am new to this forum as well. I can relate to what you have written. I was always the "tall girl" growing up and matured much earlier than my classmates. I always looked much older than what I was. I was not overweight, but bigger than the others and always involved in sports and other activities. When I met my husband 11 years ago, I was about 135 lbs. I went to the gym nearly every day. Over the years we both packed on a lot of weight and I am at 235 now. During this time I joined weight watchers several times and hired a personal trainer for awhile and got back into shape, only to watch it dwindle away again. So, here I am! I am about 2 1/2 weeks in. I am doing the Ideal Protein diet for now - I tried it once before and struggled so am giving it a second shot. I am trying to work out regularly, but keep telling myself that I need to lose more weight to be able to really work out! Sounds dumb, but I feel that way sometimes!! I often avoid social gatherings - I even skipped a classmate's funeral recently because I was too ashamed to see any of my old classmates. That was kind of the last straw for me. You only live once and I would like to live my life and be proud of who I am not just on the inside, but outside as well. I hope you stay motivated and plug along each and every day!! Good luck to you!

Thank you guys for the kind words of encouragement :) VeggieHater- I can completely relate to how you feel. It really is much harder to work out when you are heavier than what your body is used to. I too guess that I feel ashamed and tend to avoid social situations. I actually have not realized that or verbalized it until reading your post, but I am so paranoid about people judging me. It really hurts when you can see a life that you want so badly, but it is such a long hard road to get there. Have to just persevere I guess.