Hello everyone! Here I am, and I warn you now that this post is not a pretty one. I am feeling very irrational and I want to get some things off my chest. Please don't continue reading unless you're either very compassionate or very curious (the latter please don't respond) First of all I'll explain how I got here. Today I hit google trying to find a weight loss forum and this was the first one that caught my eye. Three fat chicks, it's sorta funny because I'm a fat dude. I guess that's my sense of humor. I'm prepared to "work my *** off" to meet my goals, but it's difficult for me right now because I am experiencing some serious emotional pain. I'm not gonna hide anything anymore, nothing is worth hiding. I can't face it alone, and that's why I'm here. I'm gonna face it with all you. I'm so sick of not being happy with myself and feeling inadequate. It's the most deep and painful misery I've ever known, besides being alone. I suck at dating, I suck at sex and I don't even know who I am. I don't think that anyone cares even though they all claim to. I have recently become violently hateful toward God and nature. I want to know why we are forced to endure life in this world, and why we are left alone in this dark reality without a shadow of a clue what for. Even worse I hate my fat lazy self and I can honestly say that I wish I did not exist. This is not even slightly exaggerated, I hate exaggerations, and this is not one of them. I truly wish that I did not exist. I promise you that. I don't cry about my problems, usually when I want to cry the tears won't come out, and they feel stuck behind my eyes. I can't get the pain out.
It's very important for me to stress the fact that I don't believe physical attractiveness can make a person happy, I don't believe that anything can make me happy besides my own brain, but I still want to be healthy and fit. I am not ready to let go of my wants, as superficial and temporary as they seem. Please let me know how pathetic I sound, I know it's pretty bad. I've come to the forums because it's easier for me to admit these things here.
Hi, Jeffv. I am compassionate and have read your post. You are moving in the right direction by reaching out for help and support, and I truly hope you will recieve the motivation here to change your life for the better.
Last edited by cottagebythesea; 09-07-2011 at 06:43 AM.
Jeff, thank you for joining and being so honest with your feelings. I think you've made a big step and I know it was a difficult one. I hope you'll have the time to read some of the stories on our forum, especially in our Goal forum because they are very inspiring and show that it can be done. Weight loss isn't easy, but being overweight is so much harder. You are absolutely not alone here.
I understand you feel badly right now, but please remember that it can be done, and things really do get better with time. It all happens one step at a time, one pound at a time. I think you'll get a lot of support here, and ideas to help you move forward! We have a Mens Corner forum that might interest you. But really, all of our forums welcome men as well as women and are full of great ideas and inspiration to get you going. Keep reading, jump in anywhere that looks interesting.
Hey Jeff! sounds like there's a lot going on - and it's not all pretty! hope you find some comfort, advice, and support here. Wanted to leave you with a thought for today, well, actually it works for EVERY DAY for me - you don't have to fix everything at once. step by step, bit by bit. Pretty soon, you'll realize that you've made a lot of progress.
just focus on NOW - you can't do anything about yesterday, and you don't know what'll happen tomorrow.
Welcome to this forum. I'm new here as well; don’t worry about not being a chick :-). The 3 fat chicks are actual people (3 ladies) who started this... think of us all as their chicks and roosters. I'm very glad that you found this forum. Here, you'll find people who are going through the same issues and struggles. Good luck to you on your journey and welcome.
Last edited by AidanThirty; 09-07-2011 at 08:31 AM.
Hey Jeff!
Welcome! Im new too! I think everyone goes through those feelings, especially not knowing who you are. Having been through it, my only
advise is not to lie to yourself. I spent many many years trying to be who
everyone wanted me to be and liking what they liked. So, it will be hard,
but do not be afraid to try things. Im not sugar coating anything. I will
be the first person to say sometimes life just sucks. So, welcome and
hope you meet alot of friends here.
Hugs
Hi, Jeff ~ Welcome to the board. I like that you are so open and honest about what you are going through. So often, people bottle things up and try to make the best of it, but their emotions are still stuffed underneath because they don't try to work through them. Boards are great because of the anonymity and I really hope that you will visit this site a lot, ask the questions you need to ask, and get the support you need. My best friend wished he didn't exist either, and he is no longer here because of those wishes, so I really hope you can become the healthy and fit person that you want to be! You deserve it!
I'm new too.I'm nervous about starting this forum,but reading your post touched me.Your passion is easy to see and I understand your frustration with life,but we all have those questions in our minds.If we can take one good thing out of the struggle each day that gives us something to hold on to make it to the next day is something to keep us going.Sometimes it can be something as little as a smile or a kind word from someone.I'm just trying to say good luck and don't give in.
Get to goal & stay there!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 849
S/C/G: 235/154.8/150
Height: 5'5"
Hi Jeff,
I'll bet that felt good to get that out, and look at all the responses you've received so far. That is how it is around here. We help one another out and motivate each other towards our goals. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
I looking forward to seeing you around the boards. Congratulations to taking that first step by joining. You won't regret it.
I think you'll find most people who frequent here are compassionate, or at least understanding of many situations and circumstances.
I think that you'll also find a lot of support, and encouragement. No matter what stage in the game you're at, there are people who are there now, or have been there and know firsthand what it's like to feel that way.
Expressing how we feel about this whole process... including how we feel at our lowest... it's part of the journey. We all know this. You're not the first person to need to vent about it, and you most certainly won't be the last.
Hello everyone, I can't believe how supportive you've all been. If I could put into words how awesome it is, just to have so many people who cared enough to respond to me, I would be a better man. I'm sorry that I didn't reply sooner, but I wanted to let everyone know that I have lost 30 pounds since I started getting serious. I went from 220 down to 190, and I'm almost to my goal. I will keep my chin up with the relationship stuff, and I believe in myself again. Thank you for being there when I was weak, you're all beautiful to me. Thanks in ways I can't express,
Get to goal & stay there!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 849
S/C/G: 235/154.8/150
Height: 5'5"
Thirty pounds? That's wonderful. I'm happy to hear that you've been inspired by reading all these posts. Keep checking in here, Jeff, to keep getting inpired and motivated, even once you hit goal. You are doing an amazing job!
Here I Am
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well 
