Trying to start, but don't know where to begin
 

Hello, I'm new to this and I really don't know where to begin so please bare with me :D .

I am 23 and recently married. My husband is 5'3, very fit and I am at 5'1, very fat. I may be shorter, but when you stand us side by side I actually look manlier than him. It makes me hate myself and I know that its not a healthy mentality to have. I don't want my weight problems to get in the way of our marriage and that's why I want to improve myself. He has mentioned to me a couple of times that he wishes for me not to get any bigger because then we would not look so attractive as a couple. I know he didn't say it to be mean, but none the less I was hurt. I have always been concsious about my health problem and my weight and now I'm even more alert.

I am a college student, a wife, a daugther, a sister, an aunt, a daughter in law...etc. My life is family based and there is not a thing I can do to alter it just so that I can alter my weight problem. Long story short I don't have enough strength in a day to run around and tend to my family, then get my gym time as well. As many of you would know, trying to eat healthy around people who do not have the same intentions as you may get a little difficult and push you off track. Well, that is exactly my problem. I have lost weight before, but it meant eating separately from my family, not having the same food as them, or maybe staying home while they go out to dinner. I want to loose my weight without pushing my family aside.
Reality check I don't get much support from my family because everyone does have their own thing going on. So hopefully I find good support here and good people that knows what I am going through and are willing to help me. I need a good way to start this life changes and I hope that you guys out there will show me where to begin.

I'm now 185
Want to be 130

Dear God give me strength :D

Hey girl I believe in ya! U take care of ur family so much now take care of urself and find ur "mini me" u might end up liking her ;) goodluck!!

You can do it!! Maybe one thing you can do is get more involved in meal preparation if you don't do it already. Try to make sure every time you eat with your family, you serve a big salad or something low-calorie that you can eat a lot of and then just take small portions of the higher calorie/fat foods. Even at your in-laws, I'm sure they would welcome a contribution to the dinner table!

Also, there's no reason to forgo going out to eat! Almost every restaurant has things that are diet friendly if you just ask. A big grilled chicken sandwich, grilled meat with veggies, you can make smart choices! Good luck and go get em!

If you are not willing to eat separately from your family or give up eating out with them - then maybe you could change what they are eating and get them to stop eating out so much?

Regardless, something has to change or you won't be able to address your own health. Do you have any ideas about small things you can change to promote weight loss?

Do you and your new husband live with family or in your own place? Do you or your husband prepare your meals? If you and your husband prepare your own meals and he is supportive of your weight loss goals, he should be supportive of healthier meals.
I am not sure what meal plan you have decided to follow but I am going to tell you what has worked for me. Granted, I am not dropping pounds quickly but hey are going away. I calorie count. Durning the day while I am at work, I try to keep my calories low. Yes, I eat, just not food that is calorie dense. Thus, by the time I go home and am ready to have dinner with my family I still have at least half of my daily calories available and I am able to eat a smaller portion of whatever had been prepared for dinner. I do some substitutions, like if they are having potatoes, I may have cottage cheese instead because if I can't have sour cram and butter with my potato, I don't want it. We generally have a veggie and I will get a larger portion of these.
Find a flexible plan that will work with your lifestyle. The basic concept is calories in vs. calories out. If you burn more calories than you eat, you will lose the weight.
Finding time to exercise was an issue for me too. I finally decided that the only time I will get it done is early in the morning. I get up at 5:30, take care of my dogs and exercise. Is it easy, heck no, many mornings I do NOT want to get up but I have decided the I AM WORTH the extra effort and YOU ARE TOO!

We all have a life story and roles and obligations. We all have excuses and barriers. If being busy and being around people who don't eat healthy was truly insurmountable, no one on this site would have lost any weight at all, and at last count it was something like 13,500ish pounds lost by members?

The key to losing weight is doing the work to lose weight. It's being willing to make a priority of health and wellness, and casting excuses aside.

An excuse is just that...something you tell yourself to excuse the behavior you know is damaging what you want out of life.

How tiring and horrible is it to hate yourself day to day, and be insulted by comments and worried about how you look next to your husband? Could it be any worse than dieting and exercise?

At the end of the day, really think about that. Then you'll know where to begin :)

Welcome. I hope you find the support you need to make changes.

It is the small things you change each day will help you get going. Cut back on sodas. When eating out, only eat half the meal. Start making healthier choices when you eat out. Once you start seeing a weight loss, just keep going. Tweak your eating a little bit more. Eat healthy. Drink that water.