Saying Hello Again
I already shared this in the 100+ club yesterday, because that's the forum I remember most, but I thought I'd say hello here, too.
So Last summer I wanted to do something about my weight. I started the journey and found this forum, loving everything I read and saw and how supportive this community was. About a month into my journey, my best friend had a terrible accident and fell down the stairs of her country farmhouse, breaking her leg in SEVEN places. I went to spend the remainder of summer with her, stopping all of my progress and "falling off." They ended up moving in with us, life started BACK up at its crazy pace, and though I didn't gain back the weight I'd started losing (I actually continued losing about 2 lbs a month for awhile, then leveling off and playing with 5+ and 5- for the rest of the time), I stopped all of my WORKING on it.
Well, we just moved from Portland to Tucson, AZ. In the three weeks we've been here, I have been harassed about my weight in public by strangers twice. The first time happened when I was in the grocery store and three teenage boys (after I smiled at them and made eye contact with them no less) followed me around the store making pig noises behind me. I was with my 8 year old daughter who was blissfully oblivious it was happening (Thank goodness) and I felt myself humiliated and too shocked, angry, and hurt to do anything about it. It was made worse because I was buying FOOD for the family. You know, reading labels and making sure the Hydro's and the HFC's weren't in them (I won't give that crap to my babies). They eventually left me alone... and I drove home angry and cursing out their little pimply faces in my head, blood and pulse POUNDING in my ears.
The second came a week ago when I was at breakfast with my mother and sister (around food again! Seriously?! Really?! fine.) A man in his late 60's or 70's began telling his wife in a VERY LOUD voice that I was "disgusting" and "how could I look in the mirror and think that I looked okay enough to go out of the house." Really mean things. REALLY MEAN.
Now, you should know something about me. I have purple hair. I LOVE theatrical dressing. I am USED to people not being comfortable with the way that I look. And yet, I was completely unprepared and unarmored for BOTH of these attacks. They went *DEEP* They weren't about my hair or my clothes. They were about my body and my weight. I came home and cried and felt every humiliation I had felt since childhood (I've been obese my entire life) well up within me. My partner was chewing through nails he was so angry, swearing that I would go nowhere in this community without him so that if ANYONE DARED hurt me again he'd be there to protect me. (I love him SO for that reaction!!!) My facebook friends rallied in support and shock and serious amounts of Love. And it helped me dig out a bit.
But then, something happened. I needed control. I was reminded that not only had I started this journey a year ago, I was doing DAMN GOOD on it. And so, I started again. July 18th. I started with NIA and getting my water back up to 10 glasses or more a day. I started halving my servings on my plate. I started with weight training every other day. Oh - and I got a new haircut. Because nothing gives my self esteem a little Sass than a cute haircut. And today, I started back on these forums.
I KNOW this is a long intro, but I really wanted you guys to know what brought me here. I'm not here as a failure (I celebrate very much the success I had) but I am here as someone who's gained a little OOOMPH and Light and Chutzpah on her path. And I'm here as someone who very much wants to get to know all of you and form a community. I am a firm believer that it takes a village to do A LOT of things.
If you're still with me after all those words, Thanks for reading! I look forward to knowing you all.
Light,
-Kiki
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You and I also have the same initial goal weight to reach.. I love looking for commonalities 
