*takes deep breath

I would like to ask all those who read this post to share a moment of silence with me and send out all the support and positivity you can muster towards my direction. I really need it. I have tried losing weight on my own and I just can't do it.
I have been sitting here for a while now not sure what to say but somehow inside me I am screaming for a change. Fat... it rules my life. I've always been a happy person but something went awry and now I can't even tell if I'm really happy or I'm just faking it.
I find it funny and sad that I am nearly 300lbs ( I should be around 130lbs)
and I am drinking diet soda.... who am I kidding right?
Today I woke up feeling that it is the day to make a positive change in myself.
I will be kicking the bucket sooner than I would like if I don't take care of myself. It's a scary and sobering thought when there is so much to live for.
There's much I want to say but all the ideas are just flooding in my head I get confused. lol
As I ditch this last cigarette and finish off this lukewarm diet soda
I swear that I will be healthy. I will lose weight and attain my goals.
I will lead a new life. I will be happy.
Why?
Because Iamworthit.

p.s.
I would really like to make new friends.

Welcome to 3FC!

You're darn right! You're worth it!

There's absolutely no reason to lose weight "alone". It's true that we can't reach through the screen and force you to make any one decision, but we sure as heck can POINT you in the right direction, or give you a nudge or kick in the bum when you ask for it.

We're all aiming for healthier. We're all aiming to change our habits one day at a time.

You have it within you to commit, and to do better today than you did the day before. Always.

There are thousands of ideas and plans all around 3FC, not to mention the invaluable support and encouragement of all the members.

You want this? You can do it. A year from now you will look back and be THRILLED beyond belief that you stuck it out. The time is going to pass us by regardless of what we choose, so why not choose healthier?

You want friends? You've got it. You've got everyone here going through the same thing.

You. Can. Do. This

Can't wait to see you around the boards!

Hey iamworthit! You are worth it! I hope you find the support you're looking for here. I look forward to seeing you around the boards.

you are worth it! welcome

your username says it all because , yes, you are worth it. you don't need to write a novel to explain how you feel, because we all understand. regardless of our starting weight or our goal weight, we all suffer alike because for some of us 30 lb weight gains are just as depressing as 300 lb weight gains. we all have our own story and our own reasons why we are where we are. but one thing is the same: we all want to lose it and are struggling to find the best way how.

In my personal opinion, weight loss is a lot more than just will, its about our life situation. I have found hat my lowest weights were at times when i was happier in my life and more stable. I had less anxiety and depression.

First do some soul searching. Fix yourself inside. Shed that excess emotion that is making you more heavy. Then you can start to shed from the outside. you have a friend in me!

Thank you for responding Lovely, Theox and Daisy.

This is exactly what I am doing right now. Searching myself asking AND answering the whys and the hows. Having a notebook to write it all down helps. I don't want to do what I used to do... shock my system into diet and exercise and fall off as soon as I take that extra bite or miss gym.
It is a struggle to say the least but it's all coming together. I read about so many inspirational people here ... the forum is such a source of motivation and comfort.

Go me! Go you!

I can't do it alone either, and there's no shame in that. I need in-person as well as on-line support (and if there were in-patient treatment available, or a half-way-house option I'd jump at the chance for either).

I joined TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) because I needed the weekly support, and if I could find a second meeting to go to mid-week I"d do that too.

It's ok to need a lot of help.

Hi Kaplods.
Thank you for your reply.
I see that you are from Wisconsin.
I am planning to relocate to Milwaukee within a year. *fingers crossed
The getting healthy is part of getting myself together before I move to
start a new life.

I love Wisconsin. I think relocating actually helped me lose weight. So many things are different "this time" that I can't point to any one factor for my success (compared to decades of failure), but I think the Wisconsin atmosphere helped.

I don't know if it's state-wide (I assume so from folks I've met from other areas), but in Marathon county were we now live, I was amazed at how active everyone is here, even the very obese. People are out doing things regardless of their appearance and abilities. We even know of a local guy who hunts from his wheelchair.

In central Illinois, you saw a lot fewer "fat folks" out and about being active. I usually felt like a freak even at the swimming pool. Now I'm often not even the fattest person in the pool.

Wisconsin does (I believe) have a higher obesity rate (but only slightly) than Illinois, so not enough to account for the difference. People in general here though seem to be more active. I see more runners, walkers, cross-country skiers... but the diversity of shape and size of the "active folk" is surprising.

I don't think I would have had the guts to buy and ride a bike (which I still find difficult to use because of my balance issues) if I hadn't seen quite a few people my size doing so. Sometimes with modified equipment, sometimes plain old bikes.

Welcome and good luck !

iamworthit, you can do it, you've made the first step already, the only way to go from here is forward xxx

You are Soooo worth it, so put down that diet soda (a problem) and check out IP. There are alternatives to the plan if it is too expensive for you. Whatever path you take, you will succeed. Go!

Welcome, Iamworthit! Glad you're here.

Wow! So moved! I can totally understand and empathize with what your feeling! I've been struggling with my weight now for about 2 years, and I'm so unhappy. It really brings you down emotionally & mentally. We can do this together, because hey, you're worth it and I'm worth it to! Keep in touch! Well help eachother and track our progress. I'm new too!

Thanks for the warm welcome and encouragement everyone.
It is indeed a positive start!

I have been watching this show on Bio channel called Obsessed.
It made me stop and think that in someway I am like the people on the show.
While I do not wash my hands 50 times or more a day or get up from bed 30 times a night to check if the door is locked... just like them something triggers me to eat. I know I am an emotional eater. Being a registered nurse you'd think I would have the tools and knowledge to handle my problems but it really is different when you have to apply the rules to yourself. (never did take my own advice haha)
The therapists say... when the impulse is triggered... it will cause anxiety to spike but it will go down. The key to to recognize it and let it take its course.
So far I've been able to stop myself from picking up the phone for delivery or just going down to the refrigerator by applying this principle. It's not easy but it is helping.
I definitely need a solid base of support and I found it here in the forums.

Thanks everyone and may you all be blessed with health, love and prosperity!