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-   -   The Little Things: An Honest Journey (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/introductions/232789-little-things-honest-journey.html)

Lovely 05-09-2011 06:44 AM

The Little Things: An Honest Journey
 
A long time ago (many years) I determined that my word for weight loss in general would be perseverance. I decided that regardless of the circumstances, in spite of obstacles unknown or offenses repeated that I would ever emerge on the other side a success.

I realize this is an introduction area and not a life story forum, but what's an introduction without a little life? So, I hope you don't mind if I share a little (read: a lot) bit more with you.

I used to frequent these forums a few years back. Frequent is an understatement. Heck, I used to be a member of the welcome wagon I posted so often (Albeit I decided to go with a brand new username now). These people kept me on track and mindful for a long time, and I've come to see that I both miss and need all of that.


The Honest Journey -

How am I supposed to change unless I can be openly honest about where I am starting?

Following the Weight Watchers program, and attending weekly meetings helped me lose about 100lbs several years ago. This wasn't done quickly. It took a couple years. I kept it off for a time. In fact, I wasn't even done losing. I had a bit more to go to even be within my healthy weight range, but I was doing everything right.

That is...until I stopped doing everything right. And then I stopped doing anything right. About the only thing I didn't stop was gaining weight back. Slowly...steadily...gaining it back. Just the way I lost it, but in some sort of horrible bizarro world reversal. Some years, and numerous excuses later I woke up to see that I was a mere 5 pounds away from my original starting weight.

Not only am I weighed down (oh jokes...we make them) by this discovery, but I am also rolling through a forest of emotions that come with being a "re-starter". Oh how many vows did I make that I'd never gain it back! How many times I -knew- each morning when I woke up that I was on track to the healthiest me ever!

How ashamed I feel now. How guilty. How disappointed. How furious.

Yet, oddly enough like Pandora's box, hope was left in tact. I have done this before. I know it can be done. I can do it, again, and this time I can recognize my mistakes. I can learn, and I CAN DO THIS. All while embracing my whole journey. I'm not confused about where to start. I know what I have to do, and today marks three weeks of returning to my healthier lifestyle.

...If perseverance is my word, if it is truly what I have internalized, then never has there been such a time that I need it as I do right now.

And so. Hello everyone! I'm very happy to be meeting and re-meeting you, and I can't wait to settle in, again.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to say hello (and so much more!)

TLDR: Been there. Done that. Starting again. Hi everyone!

P.S. :twirly: I missed this cute little twirly fella'

zoodoo613 05-09-2011 08:22 AM

Welcome back! Yours is a story I can relate to.

beerab 05-09-2011 09:35 AM

Welcome back, and yes I can relate to you- just as I go down in weight it seems SOMETHING happens and I gain the weight back and then reign it back in! I think my body just wants to be big! *sigh*

If you did it before you can do it again :)

NEMom 05-09-2011 09:36 AM

Welcome back!!

Tea Granny 05-09-2011 10:18 AM

Been there, done that, got the T shirt :) This time I have realized that "life style change" is the focus. There is no going back to "normal" once the weight goal has been reached. THIS is the new normal now. :)

Lovely 05-09-2011 11:24 AM

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome =) It's comforting to see I'm not alone.

NotTheCheat 05-09-2011 12:03 PM

I recently restarted too. I had lost 110 pounds (although I hadn't gotten that close to goal with so much to lose) and then put back on about 75 of that.

In many ways restarting has been way harder than the first time around. I am constantly battling those feelings of failure in addition to all the regular work of losing. I feel like I should be able to do more, because I did it in the past. But I am where I am now and I can only move forward from here. The important thing I have realized for myself is that I do move forward and I don't sit and stagnate in the failure. I only truly fail when I stop trying. I learned valuable lessons about things I need to do to stay on track and hopefully this time it will be for good.

So yeah, I totally get where you are coming from and welcome back.

Lovely 05-09-2011 12:28 PM

Thank you, NotTheCheat =) That's exactly it right there.

Lexxiss 05-10-2011 10:23 PM

Welcome back!

Leave the guilt and shame behind! It's a new day you can't change the past. BTW I think the number one reason for my continued "perseverence" is that I post here every single day...I haven't missed one. It makes the good days lots more fun and the bad ones lots easier to get over.

Best wishes!

Lovely 05-11-2011 12:36 AM

Thanks for the welcome Lexxiss! Been back here a few days, posting almost as often as I used to before. Happy to just be back to normal and working towards my goals.

BuggyBear81 06-17-2011 05:58 PM

Welcome back! I, too, lost a bit of weight and then gained it all back. I know its common, but it doesn't stop us from feeling like crap when we do it, does it?

mental voyeur 06-18-2011 09:13 AM

I hear your story
 
I too lost a lot of weight over 80 pounds at one point and slowly over year gained it back and then some. I have lost 150 pounds recently in the last 2 years, am not done yet, need to hit a total of 200, but I have recently re-gained 20 of it. I am going to knuckle down and cut this out, but I understand exactly what you are feeling.

I blog about my experience and many of the same emotions at tiedtobefit.blogspot.com. Check it out and know that you are definitely not alone. Be nice to yourself!

soccermon4137 06-18-2011 11:02 AM

new friends
 
Hi I'm New....looking for friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SeeImTryin 06-18-2011 11:21 AM

I can so relate to your story, only I managed to gain another 40 lbs on top of the 75 I had lost. You were able to stop and get control much quicker than I did. Congrats on your your three week success! Keep up the "positive mindset"

sidanne42 06-18-2011 11:25 AM

Love Your Story and How Well You Told It!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely (Post 3841625)
A long time ago (many years) I determined that my word for weight loss in general would be perseverance. I decided that regardless of the circumstances, in spite of obstacles unknown or offenses repeated that I would ever emerge on the other side a success.

I realize this is an introduction area and not a life story forum, but what's an introduction without a little life? So, I hope you don't mind if I share a little (read: a lot) bit more with you.

I used to frequent these forums a few years back. Frequent is an understatement. Heck, I used to be a member of the welcome wagon I posted so often (Albeit I decided to go with a brand new username now). These people kept me on track and mindful for a long time, and I've come to see that I both miss and need all of that.


The Honest Journey -

How am I supposed to change unless I can be openly honest about where I am starting?

Following the Weight Watchers program, and attending weekly meetings helped me lose about 100lbs several years ago. This wasn't done quickly. It took a couple years. I kept it off for a time. In fact, I wasn't even done losing. I had a bit more to go to even be within my healthy weight range, but I was doing everything right.

That is...until I stopped doing everything right. And then I stopped doing anything right. About the only thing I didn't stop was gaining weight back. Slowly...steadily...gaining it back. Just the way I lost it, but in some sort of horrible bizarro world reversal. Some years, and numerous excuses later I woke up to see that I was a mere 5 pounds away from my original starting weight.

Not only am I weighed down (oh jokes...we make them) by this discovery, but I am also rolling through a forest of emotions that come with being a "re-starter". Oh how many vows did I make that I'd never gain it back! How many times I -knew- each morning when I woke up that I was on track to the healthiest me ever!

How ashamed I feel now. How guilty. How disappointed. How furious.

Yet, oddly enough like Pandora's box, hope was left in tact. I have done this before. I know it can be done. I can do it, again, and this time I can recognize my mistakes. I can learn, and I CAN DO THIS. All while embracing my whole journey. I'm not confused about where to start. I know what I have to do, and today marks three weeks of returning to my healthier lifestyle.

...If perseverance is my word, if it is truly what I have internalized, then never has there been such a time that I need it as I do right now.

And so. Hello everyone! I'm very happy to be meeting and re-meeting you, and I can't wait to settle in, again.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to say hello (and so much more!)

TLDR: Been there. Done that. Starting again. Hi everyone!

P.S. :twirly: I missed this cute little twirly fella'

Hello (again!)

Thank you for the wonderfully worded and heartfelt post. I, and many others, I'm sure, can totally relate to losing and regaining weight, and dealing with all of the incumbent emotions. However, no human being is perfect, and sometimes we can learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I believe you will succeed this time! I have tried every diet known to man (and some unknown) and this is the first real success I've had that I truly feel I can MAINTAIN. I am on Medifast and since April 2nd, have lost 52 lbs.!!! I feel like a new woman, and am bursting with hope for the future! The online support I receive and give daily is a vital component to my success. Thank you most sincerely for contributing to that. Let's continue to motivate, inspire, and support one another -- together we shall succeed and go forth to live happier, longer, healthier lives!!! Rock on!!!

Sidanne :carrot::carrot:
(1 Carrot King 4 u, and 1 4 me!)



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