Gettin' pudgy in Kentucky
Actually, I am more than a little pudgy. I come here a whopping 260 pounds. I am perpetually in a state of embarrassment about my weight. I delude myself into thinking that I am not good enough because I am fat, and that my self worth is based on my waistline. Logically, I know that I have much to offer the world, myself, and my loved ones. However, the voice inside of me has been stuck on replay for years, even when I was not fat, and I fear that if I do not lose this weight, it'll soon become too much for me to bear. I had to drop out of school in my senior year, because I had a panic attack every time I thought about going to classes, with all of those people scrutinizing me. If my work was not perfect, if I was otherwise not perfect, I automatically thought that everyone would expect it because I am fat. These are dysfunctional things to think. I know this, and I have always known this. I have had a number of bigger friends that I have never looked down on because they were bigger; I know people don't see people in skinny and fat. I didn't, but my illogical voice was telling me it was so. I compulsively overate to deal with my pain. I can't do that anymore.
Anyway, I have always had problems with weight. I just want to be normal.
More about me besides my weight:
I am a 23 year old almost college graduate, that is married, and as my name suggests, I love ferrets. I have four, who are my world, and at times, I fear they are the only ones in the world who see past the fat (again, an illogical fear). My husband has signed with the navy and so we are going to be relocating soon, out of KY. In any case, I would love to get into shape while we are going through this process so that I can show that I am doing something hard too, and so that I can be in better spirits to go back to school and finish my degree.
I startd a diet this week, alond with 30 mins of exercise a day, at least five days a week. I usually heavy hands (walking while swinging weight), as it is a great way to get your heartrate up. I am not a stranger to walking four or five miles in a stint, as neither hubby or I drive, and we walk to get groceries and other things. I hope that being on this forum will help me to find the support I need to keep me motivated, and to help me feel like I am not alone. I know that I am not the only one, and that helps.
Anyway, Hi all!
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Thank you for the welcome.
Congrats on starting your weight loss process- you sound like you are committed and have a great attitude so I'm sure you'll find success. Best wishes 
