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Old 08-03-2010, 11:39 AM   #1  
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Unhappy New (and at the end of my rope)

Hi! Greetings from the UK!

I don't know where to begin... joining a new forum is always tricky, let alone one that you really hope will help and support you, as you can't do it on your own.

I'm a fat chick - weighing in at 374 pounds... omg, how did I let that happen?

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember - my whole life I would say - since a young kid of maybe 6 or 7 - I am now nearly 34. I remember being the fat kid in primary school, and the fat kid in high school, and also getting bullied for that fact. I remember going to weight watchers with my mum when I was 10. And the doctor telling me I should eat ryvita with a lettuce leaf on top if I wanted to lose weight. I've done Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Rosemary Connely, Atkins, Cabbage Soup, Slim Fast... you name it, I've probably tried it

I am not at my heaviest - but I am dangerously close now... I was 322 pounds when I met my (now) husband 4 1/2 years ago, so the weight has piled on quite rapidly.

I've been diagnosed with PCOS and borderline diabetes and the professor I'm seeing at St. Barts hospital in London has told me that I should have surgery... I don't want too... I'm too scared of the anesthetic. He has got me on Metformin and another injectable drug called Liraglutide. So far they don't seem to have done anything to help with my weight loss, even though he said that they would. He advised I eat a low carb diet.

I try and be as active as I can - I have a very sedentary job as a website designer (self employed) and don't move much during the day, which I know I MUST address, as I'm getting really down about the fact that I'm not too mobile at the moment. I do however, go swimming every day - for about an hour - built up to 54 lengths of the (25m) pool, and want to get back to 64 which is what I used to do. I also want to kick my butt back into the gym, but swimming has taken over for now.

I got married a year ago on Thursday, and I tried to lose weight for that (story of my life - I've tried to lose weight for so many things...) I did hit the gym hard and even though I didn't lose weight - I did lose inches and made a passable bride. I weigh (give or take a few pounds) the same as what I did on my wedding day, so I don't feel *too* bad, but I feel awful in general.

I don't want to be fat any more. I'm getting sick and tired of it, but I also know I have issues - emotionally as well as physically, and I am the sort of person who can put on weight just by looking at food. I also want to have another baby with my husband. My son (from a previous relationship) is now 11, and it was with him that my problems started, in the sense that I put on a TON of weight after I had him, that I've basically never been able to loose.

I am the sort of girl that needs to be TOLD what to do - even though I know the perceived "rights" and "wrongs". I exercise (but could do a lot more in my daily life), I use skimmed milk, I low carb, but don't no-carb (a la Atkins, although I've tried that), I don't fry things, I try and avoid sweets, cakes etc (don't want to exacerbate the diabetes)

I don't know if this post is a plea for help or what. All I know is that I am in tears (hidden well) most days now, as I don't know what to do any more...

I broke down to my sister a few days ago asking if she'd help me as I don't want to die... and just saying that out loud to her made it hit home that that is what is about now... not aesthetics, or to find clothes that fits, but for my life.

Look forward to finding my way round the forums and getting to know people! I am away for a few days - off to Paris for our 1st wedding anniversary.... dreading it though... how very very sad

Last edited by MrsOrange; 08-03-2010 at 11:42 AM.
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:51 AM   #2  
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Congratulations on demanding control of your own destiny!!! I think you find quite a bit of support and fellowship in this forum. A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step and you have taken your first step. Have a wonderful honeymoon. You're getting to go to Paris witha man who loves you!! How wonderful is that? :-)
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Old 08-03-2010, 11:56 AM   #3  
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I'm hoping that I'll find some support somewhere!!

I always start with the best of intentions, lose about 14 pounds, then almost give up, or have a bad day, turning into a bad week, bad month... bad year... I have lost count the amount of times I've started "diet" and how many times I have failed... lots of issues here!!
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:06 PM   #4  
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One thing I have found helpful and have enjoyed are the blogs. I started my own and by recording in your blog for the world to read it helps to keep you accountable.
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:09 PM   #5  
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I think when I'm back from Paris, I'll get a blog on the go... I've started one before a few years ago when I really thought I would "do it" this time... and never did :|
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:29 PM   #6  
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Hi! Best of luck and willpower in your weight loss journey. No matter how many times you fell off the wagon, you can get back on it! And you are. Yay!
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Old 08-03-2010, 12:39 PM   #7  
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Yes, definitely pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on track! You can do it - it's not a matter of motivation as much as it is just DOING what you need to do each day, break it down into each meal ... adding activity as you can. At times, I keep waiting to get motivated ... but when I find success is just when I DO it, regardless of how much oomph i have!
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Old 08-03-2010, 01:19 PM   #8  
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Oh..you have come to a great place. I started my most recent (and last) weight loss journey on April 22nd. For me I was doing great..averaging 2-3 pounds a week by watching my calories and upping my walking/swimming. Then I had some major stress and basically didn't try to take July off, but did and didn't lose anything for a month. This is not just a plateau it was a bump. I know your journey will have plenty of bumps too. We just have to simply choose to keep trying and to keep going. You are so correct...this is about having LIFE and long life at that. I wish you well and I hope you find all the support you want here. I know I have.
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Old 08-03-2010, 02:01 PM   #9  
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Welcome and good luck ! You have taken the first step. Remember many of us, including me, have been where you are. You can do it !
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Old 08-03-2010, 03:31 PM   #10  
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I too just started this journey (for the LAST TIME) about 6 weeks ago. It is not easy and it takes a long time BUT the threads here are great for keeping me motivated. I have heard 2 really motivating things recently so I thought I would pass them on to you. 1. Even though it may take longer than I wish it would to loose the weight I am least heading in the right direction (I will weigh less next summer). 2. Being fat is hard and losing weight is hard...so which "hard" am I going to choose? I am chosing losing weight. I want my daughter to be proud of her mommy and I want to enjoy life WITH her and not on the sidelines. WE CAN AND WILL DO THIS!
Enjoy Paris and your time with your husband.
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Old 08-03-2010, 05:38 PM   #11  
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Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle
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Old 08-03-2010, 05:51 PM   #12  
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Hiya!

I am in the UK too! I moved here from California over a year ago after marrying my Brit hubby!

I am still learning my way round and getting to know people and places.

I just wanted to say GOOD on you for coming here. I am a BIG believer in first one step and then the next. It matters NOT your method for getting healthy. What matters really is that you make a start. One thing you do today that you did not do yesterday means YOU win!!

Hugs and please just LET yourself have a good time on your holiday!! You will not regret it-plus you can say that this is the last holiday you will have feeling like you do now.

Things change, they really do!

Peace,
T
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Old 08-04-2010, 09:02 AM   #13  
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Welcome to 3FC and glad you are here
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Old 08-04-2010, 10:18 AM   #14  
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I saw you over on the 300+ board and wanted to come over and read your intro.

I'm wishing you strength and courage on the beginning of this journey, and a HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TRIP IN PARIS!! Yes, it is sad that you can't be excited about it because of how you are feeling. But like T said, if you CHOOSE it, this can be the very last time you feel this way!!! How awesome is that??!!

Chin up! Make yourself a very specific plan. If you need to, take a look at the different plans on this forum. There are some low carb options if that's what you and your doctor think will work best for you. Go to the store and get everything you will need. Plan out what you will have for each and every meal, then do the work to get everything ready. Then just simply eat what you have planned. I think that is the biggest key, planning, especially in the beginning. It's hard to stay 'ON PLAN', if you don't really HAVE a plan, IMHO! So come up with something realistic and satisfying that you feel you can stick with, then do it! You said you want someone to tell you what to do, there you go! hahahahah Your work in the pool is awesome and you should definitely work on goals there! But the common statistic here is that losing weight is 80% diet. So get that eating in order!!

My last thought is to ask how you are sleeping. I had a sleep study in April and found out I have severe sleep apnea. I got a CPAP machine to help me breathe when I sleep, and I have lost 31+ pounds since then. I have still had to do all the work of coming up with the plan and implementing it, but I would never have believed if someone told me before hand what would happen to my food cravings. It has been researched that sleep deprivation causes problems with satiety hormones, and I consider myself proof that if you don't sleep well, you will CRAVE and OVEREAT, almost uncontrollably. It was on 60 minutes a couple years ago. They sleep deprived healthy-weight people, giving them only 4 hours of sleep per night for 1 week. By the end of the week, all of them had consumed nearly twice as many calories as previously, and several of them had blood sugar ranges in the pre-diabetic category -- from one week of not enough sleep!! Now that I am sleeping perfectly, I simply do not have uncontrollable food cravings. For the first time in my LIFE, most of the time I eat my healthy, wholesome meal, and then I often don't even think about food until it's time to fix the next meal. THIS has made the difference for me, and I just had to share it with you. If you are wondering if you might have sleep apnea, there are 'snore scores' and such on the internet where you can answer some questions and get an idea if you might need to be tested. OR, if you do sleep well and just don't get enough, it's worth it to consider adding SLEEP to your list of weight loss to-dos.

Okay, sorry for the public service announcement! Best of luck to you, and hope to see you on the Positives thread over in 300+!
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Old 08-04-2010, 10:24 AM   #15  
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You are going too Paris? I am so jealous ! I have always wanted to go there ! Hope you have a wonderful holiday with your husband.

You have come to the right place -- everyone is very nice and supportive here. Look around at the various forums and find one or two (or more) where you can plug in and start posting.

Just take it one day at a time, one small step at a time, one small decision at a time, and you can do this....
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