[Blackberry Fields]

I'm finally taking the leap and dipping my toes into a site I've visited occasionally as part of my Accept That You're Dieting campaign. I've lost 28 lbs. since late August of last year (even with a three month gap in between when I was injured but I still maintained thanks to a low(ish) carb approach) and I can't deny it anymore that I want to keep going and lose a bit more.

I've been against dieting my whole life because I wanted all the people who focused on my looks to STFU. My brother has a huge beer belly at 29 but nobody focused on HIS looks or his figure. I've always been very self-confident, always loved my body and felt sexy, rolls of fat and all, and I didn't want to diet because I was defiant. I felt rebellious because I was smart, I was a high-achiever early on, I wanted to be treated like a human being, not defined by my physique. I wanted to have the same freedom and leeway as men do.

My attitude remains the same, but in the meantime, I've accepted that I'd rather see myself as a healthy human being. I didn't start "dieting" for weight loss, I didn't reduce calories right away but changed my eating habits instead: lots of water, regular meals, high protein, low carb, lots of fish, no junk and generally trying to get lots of iron (and minerals in general) in my food because I was afraid I was deficient. So my initial goal wasn't even weight loss, although I know now I was in denial. One thing led to another and... here I am, no longer at 92 kg (202 lbs). Yes, I'm dieting, in as much as I'm trying to lose weight. I'm not sure it's technically a diet since I don't intend to ever stop eating regular, protein-rich, healthy meals and snacks and do moderate exercise. I'm "lifestyle changing" is a bit of a mouthful but I guess it's more accurate. I got results and for my 27th birthday on Saturday I will be happy to celebrate it as my first at a non-obese weight since I was 10.

I don't know how much I can contribute to this lovely community but it's great to be here.

[HappyChick82]

Welcome! It is a lifestyle change and you will find what works best for you. You came to the right place and as you read around, you will find many ideas and lots of support. Best of luck!

~Jen~

[Onederchic]

Hi and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

[Tai]

Welcome and a happy early birthday! There's nothing to be ashamed of in losing weight; be proud of yourself!

[Blackberry Fields]

Thank you, ladies. I've already had a great day here, looking forward to more.

Oh, no I DO not find anything shameful in losing weight and becoming healthier.

But I have huge issues with people expecting me to starve myself and put in a lot of effort for OTHERS, so I'd fetch more camels on the marriage market for instance. I hated the focus on my looks just because I was a woman. I still hate it, it's not not about weight per se. I like my body and I liked it when it was obese. I just accepted myself because I lived in my head and the world up there was not about my looks, it was about my imagination and what I could do and accomplish. It bothered me that people felt it was a burden I should get rid of to be loved. If someone told me: "Hey, you know... you're at risk for early onset diabetes and this long list of health problems" when I was 17 instead of "What do you mean you're comfortable? But boys won't want to date you and people pity you!" you bet I wouldn't have rebelled against the very idea of dieting. But nobody did. Instead, I was compared to a younger bimbo cousin who was "pretty" (in a streetwalker kind of way) and instead of telling her to try to study more so she'd be more like me, they subtly hinted at me having to lose weight/slut it up in order to be more like her. Needless to say, things have changed dramatically this past decade (I'm the thinner one now... it makes me laugh, but I bear no ill will to the girl), but I'm still reluctant to even admit to people that yes, I have tried to lose weight even if not by starving myself and even if it came as a side effect of getting rid of anemia at first. I still feel like I'm giving in to their obtuse views, like I'm proving them right. I'm working on it, I promise.

[Lyri]

Welcome, congrats on your results so far, and happy early birthday!

[kaplods]

Most of my diets in the past were started out of vanity and social pressure. I wanted to be viewed more positively by others.

I don't know that I ever truly hated myself (even when everyone around me seemed to be saying that I was supposed to).

This journey started differently. I was looking to make health changes, not appearance changes, and I committed to making the changes whether or not they resulted in weight loss. Some of the changes have resulted in weight loss, and some of them haven't. I do see weight loss as more of a byproduct than as a goal in itself. The goals are my healthier choices. The reward is health improvements and weight loss is just a perk.

[Sameen]

i must admit that that in the past 7 years every time i have started a diet has been under a certain pressure.... maybe a friend recommended a dietitian or friends and family suggesting diets or just saying don't you want to look fabulous in fabulous clothes?
i personally think that was the reason that day by day i became more comfortable with my weight.... i thought to myself hey i don't need to be thin to be hot until the realization came to me myself. i think loosing weight is not only concerned with looks but also the way i want my life to be. there are a million things i want to do that i cant do because of my weight and other than that i just feel that it shakes up your confidence as well.
i am not loosing weight to look good [well not almost] but to live a healthy life and do whatever i feel like doing without my weight being a hinderer.

Welcome Blackberry fields!
this place is the best place to get support=)

[FrankieG]

You go girl! I am proud of you. You are not losing weight for anybody but yourself. I've had that rebel in me before too! I was damned if I was going to play 'their' game. Sadly I was just hurting myself. I am in control now and it is my choice to do it for me!

[Button]

You're losing weight for all of the right reasons, which is definitely something to be proud of. I do know what you mean about communicating about your lifestyle change, though. It's so tempting to call it a diet out of a sort of social shorthand for living healthier. I haven't yet have anybody ask what I'm doing, but I'm hoping that I can say "living healthier" when the time comes.

Welcome to 3fc!

[Waterwoman64]

I Love 3FC!!!!!! Glad to have found this forum and found Onederchic story and pictures fascinating. I really like the idea of taking pics.......intend to now do the same, even tho it is not really the total beginning for me - but close enough. I have gotten to the point of not wanting to tell anyone about dieting (again)....told the Dr. yesterday and that was bad enough. Will just hope to keep at it and keep shrinking and hopefully one day will be able to look at a goal weight once and for all and then deal with maintaining it. Really do not want to discuss it with people who do not understand the whole dynamics of obesity. Time will tell if being part of 3FC forums and becoming accountable on a weekly basis helps. Have found alot of good ideas here and will just keep on 'keepin on'!