I'm a 27 yr old mom to 2 kids, and since I was about 9 (when my uncle died) I've been somewhere between a 12-18. More adultish wise, it's been more like 16-20, especially after the kids were born.
Last year, going on vacation I lost 7 pounds in the week we were there, and that spurred me on to about another 23 pounds.....which I lost over the course of last January-March.
Since then I have stayed in about the same 5 pounds......through emotional overeating, undereating, exercising regularly, not exercising at all......It's been frustrating being at that standstill. I've been working through all the emotional eating issues, feel pretty good about that, but here's my quandary:
I finally realized that a particular smaller size is not what I want-what I want is permission to love myself. There's so much talk about being obese and how it's bad to be fat, but at a size 16 I LIKE my curves, and the fact that I have hips. Granted, it's about the biggest I feel comfortable being, and a size 12 would be nice, but it's not enough to motivate me to do whatever combination of things I need to do to get it done. So what's a heavy person to do if they're not thoroughly unhappy with themselves and just want to work on a bit of that self-love?
For me, eating healthily and exercising in moderation are both a big part of loving myself. I’m still overweight and have a ways to go (I’m in a size 12 now and would like to be a 10, maybe an 8), but I have so much confidence and so much energy and I just feel like a better person because I’m treating my body right. And even though I’m not where I want to be from a vanity standpoint, I’m at a really good place health and fitness wise.
It’s awesome that you feel confident and love your curves…I love mine too! And I just love them that much more because I know exact what my body is capable of. No, I wouldn’t look good in a bikini right now (or ever, probably), but I can run up 6 flights of stairs faster than anyone else I know…and that makes me feel good about my body.
I guess maybe…just be healthy. And since you are already okay with your body, if you lose a few pounds, it’ll be a bonus! I honestly do feel like eating healthy and exercising play a big part into feeling well overall, no matter how big or small we are.
You have to decide exactly what it is. You may want to consider some kind of therapy or counseling or group therapy. You might just need to find a way to do things you like to do that are physically active. If you like the size you are, then why would you want to change it? If you want to be a smaller size and you do something to get that way, it's good. But if you don't want to, then there's no reason you *should*.
For a lot of people, their self worth is tied up with the size of their clothes. Being a smaller size may make them feel better about themselves. For others, size has nothing to do with self esteem. You have to decide for yourself which one describes YOU and act accordingly.
I know, I find I like exercising, it gives me energy and stamina, I really like doing weights because of how strong I feel, so I feel pretty physically fit. But somehow I've kept this internal sensor going that monitors my exercise and eating, so that no matter how well I'm doing with either, it doesn't make the scale move.
In a sense, even just loving myself and hoping to be smaller doesn't work, cause I go along working on the confidence, and when I find out I haven't lost weight or inches, I feel cheated, like somehow I 'earned' Something happening, even though I wasn't really trying. Does that make any sense?
I have considered some sort of therapy, but currently don't have the finances to handle it. Food, exercise, and my weight is just such an emotional thing for me, it's hard to figure out what the heck I want. I guess, I like the size I am enough to not be motivated to go down in size anymore. All the health professionals I talk to aren't emotional about food so it generally doesn't work to talk to them. It's just been frustrating being at a standstill, spinning in circles for the last year.
And none of the things I've found that inspire me ever seem to stick.
It's probably healthier (and definitely more fun) to be a happy, stress-managing, active, healthy-eating, self-loving size 16 than a junk-food eating, self-hating, miserable, couch-potato size 4.
Of course those aren't your only choices. Each choice contributes (or detracts) from happiness and health, and finding your own balance is an entirely individual matter.
I will never ben an actress or a model. I probably will never be a competition-level athlete. I may not live to be 100...
I'm not losing weight to achieve those things, I'm losing weight because I want to become healthier, more active, and live past 50.
Int he end...it's all about YOU and how YOU feel. If you are mentally and physically healthy...don't worry about what others think! I too LOVE my curves but know I do need to lose some weight and tone up a bit. it's a self-balance
Is there something wrong with me?
