Well, I just started a blog last night, but thought that I should also post here to start getting to know some of the women on this board!
I'm just going to cut and paste my introductory post from my blog - call me lazy, but I say I'm just committed to getting to the gym ASAP this morning!
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For my entire life, my weight has defined me - or rather, I have defined myself by my weight.
About ten years ago, I weighed over 260 pounds. I was at that weight for another 2-3 years or so, until I was diagnosed with PCOS and metabolic syndrome. Over the course of 1.5-2 years, I lost about 60 pounds. I successfully kept most of that weight off until I started law school 4 years ago. Ever since then, I’ve played around with anywhere from a 15 to 30 pound weight gain. Right now, I’m fairly certain that I’m about 230 pounds. I wear a very tight size 16. I’m 5′7″, and built for heavy duty farm work (under all the chub, that is
).
I consider myself a success for having maintained a weight loss of anywhere from 30-60 pounds for over the last five years - but at this point, I also know I’m in trouble if I don’t seriously tackle my food and weight demons. I struggle with depression, anxiety and binge eating. I have strugged with those things for my entire life. I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, possibly bulimia, although I’m not sure about that yet. I’m on an anti-depressant and I just started metformin. This is all very complicated, but suffice it to say, I know that I would be significantly better off if I made my health THE priority.
For the last year, I’ve avoided dealing with my weight, due to sheer burnout on a number of fronts. Now though, I’m starting to feel that it is time to rebuild my mental, physical and emotional strength. I turn 30 this year. I will be called to the bar this year. It’s a year of new beginnings - and I want to face it with strength and optimism.
Tomorrow, I will sit down to write about my plan. The plan will involve no calorie counting and no weigh-ins. I’ll track my progress in other ways, and I’ll focus on other things that matter to me much more at this point than the actual number on the scale. That isn’t to say that I don’t want to lose weight. I do. But I want to measure my progress in ways that don’t feed into my obsessions. I think that is the best idea for me for now.
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I've written about my plan on my blog. Today, I've decided to just take things week by week ... and I'm also going to measure my progress in ways that have nothing to do with the scale. In fact, I'm really tempted to just toss that thing in the garbage ...
Happy Sunday everyone!
Starting Again ... Again
