I've always been a little thick, but so has my mother, and her mother, and so on. Not really fat, just short and stocky. I got so use to it that I began to define that as beauty, until short and stocky became short and plump... then short and round. I watched my self slowly spiral down while the whole time deluding myself with "Well, at least I'm not like 150lbs or something. Well, at least I'm not as big as that person, or as big as THAT person."
I felt really shallow and pathetic about those thoughts even then, so imagine how bad I felt when I WAS 150lb, and then OVER 150lb up to 200lb! Portion control's never been an issue for me, but don't get me started about physical activity! Every year at school I would lose weight from gym (not even really putting in effort) and just racing between classes, then gain it every summer doing nothing but reading and playing computer games.
My parents were always so proud of me for staying out of trouble and not getting into drugs or alcohol that I think their eyes just glazed over my continuous and unhealthy weight gain. I never felt ugly, and I never envied the 'twiggy' type, but I definitely noticed when my thighs began to rub together painfully if I wore a long skirt all day or when my beloved knee-high boots wouldn't zip up all the way anymore.
My father was up at 280lbs himself before he lost the weight and got down to an amazing 170lbs of lean muscle for his border patrol job. I was living with my mother at the time and wasn't around when he made his drastic lifestyle changes, and when I saw him for the first time since the weight loss at my wedding, I didn't even recognize him! Like not at all! I thought some stranger had just showed up at my wedding.
It really motivated me to lose the weight I'd been putting on, but my husband just got out of the military and is absolutely loathe to do anything involving healthy, organic, workout, exercise, or any synonyms of them!
Needless to say in a month and a half I've only gotten down 7lbs because my motivation just collapses and dies when the people around me refuse to do anything. I thought I could tough it out like my dad did and just go lone wolf because being healthy is a MUST, but that just began a cycle of emotional issues and I think it's better if I just find some friends going through the same thing.
I've been reading the threads on here for a couple weeks and finally took the dive to join and sign up. I hope to be one of the many people you've welcomed and to one day be welcoming a similar newcomer into the fold.
Wow, didn't notice how long this was getting. Sometimes the thoughts just spill out and you've got a wall of text before you realize it. Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for being there.
