Feel like the weight of the world and my butt is sucking my joy away.
I have 11 months to loose 50-60 lbs.
I've had the gastric bypass in 2004 and I fear that I have gained most of the weight back. Was 336, went down to 235 (Skinny for me @ 5'9") - Now I think I'm about 285+.
I am weak in the will department and have food addictions (carbs, sugar and salt).
I lost my dream job in March due to cut backs.(Put on about 20 since then)
I'll be 50 in August of 2010.
I am too embarrassed to make an appointment w/ my gastric surgery dept. for fear of shame. My Intestine has "Prolapsed" like a sleeve. This brings me discomfort. My body is stretching and shaping into something I've never seen.
Some days I just want to close my eyes and cross over.
I have emailed my Dr. about depression, but I don't think he can do anything for me. (I feel like a failure in his eyes.)
My husband is and always was HUGE (500#'s) and he thinks he is sexy! Ewww!
There is so much to say. I am so very sad and feel so alone in this.
Sorry, I had to vent. Thanks for this forum.
First off ... here's some ... becuz you need them!
Secondly, to 3FC's ... We have people here who have gone thru the same thing as you: they are around here somewhere: maybe the WLS (weightloss surgery) forum and elsewhere becuz I have seen them posting about a similar problem.
Thirdly, I think that you should make an appointment not only with your personal physician but with your GB Surgeon as well. You shouldn't let that prolapse go on as that can morph into something far worse down the road; and why suffer so much becuz of a little shame? You know you need help and it's there, so take it ...
Many people here have lost and gained and lost and gained, but we keep going. YOU ONLY FAIL IF YOU STOP TRYING!!! You are here, so that is a sign that you do want to keep trying and that's a start. You can start again, one day at a time, one step at a time, one meal or one snack at a time, and before you know it you have had a good OP (on plan) day and you will feel great again ...
Don't give up ... keep going and keep coming back here. This place can and will help you keep on track. The people here are very supportive; take a look around and see where you think you might fit in and just jump in. Tomorrow morning is the first day of your new future ... and we'll be here for you -- all you have to do is commit to coming back and giving it your best shot, right?
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 09-27-2009 at 07:45 PM.
You CAN succeed. And you DO need to talk to your doctor. The embarrassment and shame will be difficult - for a very short while. Once you meet with your doctor(s), that feeling will subside. You are not the first person to gain back some weight after surgery.
Please, make that appointment tomorrow. I guarantee you that a couple months from now, you will be so glad you did!
Keep us posted on your progress!
And - on your loss - in the grand scheme - you have lost an awesome amount of weight
Last edited by CountingDown; 09-27-2009 at 09:37 PM.
I'm sorry you are going through this but please see your doctor and get checked out- my friend's mother died a few years after her bypass from complications of her intestestines after time
I think you need to come down to the REASON why you overeat- if it's psychological maybe see a therapist or read some books on overeating and the behavioral issues behind it.
I have seen people gain the weight back after a bypass because they didn't attack the root of the over-eating.
I have seen multiple people with multiple complications after WLS.DO NOT wait to contact your doctor.Do it tommorrow.Unfortunately you can not change having had the surgery (and believe me I have spoken to so many people who wish they did not do it).But you can take care of yourself now and lose weight by diet and exercise like many on this board have done.Do not give up.You can do this.
This your life - don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Their opinions are miniscule compared to the importance of your health. I am embarrassed to go to the doc, sometimes even to work (I work at a health-type store .. at 296!) but I do it because I know I need to. I realize my health is more important than any mean look or comment, and I hope you realize that, too.
I'm so glad you came here. I've been here for ten days, and I already feel so welcome and inspired. There are so many people here willing to help you with anything. I think you'll find 3fatchicks to be a soft place to land every once in a while.
And more hugs, because you definitely need some love!
Firstly, you've not failed. You've maintained almost or more than 50 lb loss, right? About half the weight you lost. When weight loss surgery statistics are calculated, anyone who doesn't end up at their original weight or higher is counted as a success.
Most wls stats (when you can find them) are that about 40% to 50% of patients are successful (with success defined as keeping any of the weight off). That means that just in keeping any weight off (even if it were only 10 lbs), you would be counted as a success story, so there's no shame in going back to see your doctor, because you haven't failed. Most surgeons I've seen on documentaries, or quoted in books, and the surgeons of my friends who've had wls, have all stated that most successful patients regain some weight, usually about half of their original loss, that's considered a typical success story.
Shame or embarassment are sometimes appropritate - but they're only productive when you use them in very small doses. Feeling regret over choices can be really good motivation for change, but if you don't forgive yourself quickly, you'll end up in a endless cycle of self-deprecation that wears away at your self-esteem, confidence, and motivation.
The glass really is half-full here. You've kept half the weight off, and that's super, and your surgeon probably will think so too. If he doesn't that would really be a shame on him. It would be extremely hypocritical for him to count you in the success statistics and yet consider you a failure.
You haven't failed, you've just backslid a bit. It's not time to beat yourself up, it's time to brush yourself off, and continue on the journey with your head held high because a partial-success is still success.
I do think many other users have made good points about WLS. If you do not tackle the underlining problem, which you mentioned for you is cravings, then it doesn't seem worth it.
Please get the help you need and please don't let feelings of shame stop you from getting help. There's lot of support here. I don't know much of weight loss surgery but maybe there's people on the weight loss surgery with advice. You can lose weight and you can learn to deal with your issues with food. I'm a reformed? reforming? emmotional eater and it is difficult to not use food when things are going wrong but please get the help you need from both your doctor and from here also and anywhere else you can get support as with the right help it is possible to sort this out.
I am so sorry you are struggling. I agree with the advice you have already received--you need to go see your Doctor to address the complications you are having. Don't let shame cost you your health.
This is such a helpful site. Come here often; it will renew you and help you on your journey.
I failed at the gastic bypass , feeling shame
to 3FC's ... We have people here who have gone thru the same thing as you: they are around here somewhere: maybe the WLS (weightloss surgery) forum and elsewhere becuz I have seen them posting about a similar problem.
^^^great information from Justwant2bhealthy 
You CAN succeed. And you DO need to talk to your doctor. The embarrassment and shame will be difficult - for a very short while. Once you meet with your doctor(s), that feeling will subside. You are not the first person to gain back some weight after surgery. 
on your loss - in the grand scheme - you have lost an awesome amount of weight 
