I hate that I have only joined this site because I am in the middle of a completely unstoppable binge and it really sucks!!!

I just cannot get it together...I've been trying to lose weight my entire life and I don't think I ever have been successful in losing more than 5 or 10 pounds before gaining it back and gaining more. This past year (2008) was the worst year of my life...I went from a pretty steady 155-165 to 193 and I still do not hear the end of it! At least before I felt somewhat attractive, could pull guys, but now...it's horrible!!! Then, to top things off, this summer I went on a cruise (never again!) and started school early and ended July at an even worse 207. For a while I was able to put on the brakes, and lost 3 pounds after starting school again, but of course I had to go on a uncontrollable binge that has lasted almost 2 weeks and now my scale claims I weigh 209!!

I literally want to slap myself in the face...it's like, every freakin' morning I wake up and say I don't want to eat junk, don't want to binge, am going to the gym, and every night I go to sleep angry and frustrated! I am so tired of weight being the center of my entire life! At least before it was sort of a secret because everyone thought I looked fine. (On a side note, I never realized the HUGE difference between being simply overweight and actually fat. People treat me like crap now...completely walk all over me, even strangers!) Now with the rapid gain of last year, EVERYONE feels like they can just heap on to the many, many problems I already have and it's really exhauasting! I just can't control myself at all! I won't eat all day (not even in a starving way...more like, I'm not hungry) and then one trip to the dining hall and every thing is ruined. For example, yesterday...ate a granola bar around noon, drank lots of water...then meant to go to the dining hall at around 6 to get a half sandwich half salad, instead got a whole sandwich with chips and a soda...then later got ice cream with a friend...then tried to get more food later but the place was closed so I (accidently) OVERDRAFTED my account to order a freakin' pizza!!! I cannot believe that I am now going to pay for eating that stupid pizza in both pounds and dollars. Not to mention my meal points are already a hundred points below where they should be, probably more...ughhhh.

Anyway, I know this is super long but I don't know what else to do!! I tried to use videos of very large immobile people to motivate myself to change, and instead all I found was that a lot of them enjoy gaining weight and are very confident, and that I was really jealous of that. Now I'm realizing that I really have to do something proactive...I went to sleep thinking that my dad was right, that at the rate I am going I will just explode and be huge and die and no one will want to take care of me...and that's not okay! I know I need to figure out a way to help myself, but hopefully you guys can give me a boost because I'm in a really really low point...

OK, first take a deep breath. Welcome. There's a lot of wisdom and support on this site and we'll each tell you what worked for us. We're all different.

Now, here's my method---change ONE habit today. Keep it up for a set period of time (week, 2 weeks, 21 days, a month). Then when you have that down, change another. I would say eat breakfast because if you're not eating until later in the day, no wonder you're binging!!

Hugs and remember colleges have counseling centers. They are there for you and we are here for you.

Take another deep breath and let it out sooooooooowly. It's going to be OK.

I love Nada's advice!

I'm a librarian, so here's my book recommendation. It's the one that stopped my binge eating in its tracks about a month ago and I've been improving my eating since then. The End of Overeating by David Kessler.

Take another deep breath! And explore the rest of this site. You'll find lots of inspiration and tips you can use right now.

Great advice from the others.

Welcome to 3FC and good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle

Hey there,

I get it. I really do. I was in that place. But now you are here, with us, at 3FC, and this place will help you meet your goals.

Settle in. Post a lot. Read a lot. Join a challenge, check out the 20 something forum.

Changing habits is a very hard thing. Very hard. But, with practice, it gets easier. You control what you put in your mouth. YOu might need to get angry enough that you say, enough! No more! You deserve a healthy body.

Here is the truth: YOU control your calories. YOU are the only one who can stop you. But the beauty of that is: YOU have all the power you need to make a change. We can help you.

Check out the Chicks In Control section for help with binge eating.

Here's the link.

Hello and welcome to the forums. You are not alone, we are all here for you. Heed the advice already given and take things one at a time. I wish you the best of luck.